30 replies to this topic

[Homer0001]

I've been seeing this derm for about a year now to treat my keloids. I have something like 30 of them, mostly on the chest, some on my shoulders.

We've done about 5 steroid injection sessions and 5 laser sessions throughout the last year.

The lasers haven't done jack shit. No redness improvement what-so-ever. On top of that, the flattened scars appear to be re-raising.

As a result, the derm said that's it, there's nothing that can be done. No other treatments exist. No more laser since the treatment just isn't working.

On top of that, I asked what to do about my freak oily skin. They said nothing can be done since it's genetic. Then on top of that, I still have acne (of course) and I'm a short guy in my early 20s.

So when you add up the disgusting scars that 99.999% of people don't have except me, the shortness, the acne, and the disgusting oily skin, I feel like a complete freak everyday of my life. Then, after years and multiple doctors of trying to fix the scars, they said there's nothing more that can be done for the scars. This is equivalent to saying that I will be a freak for the rest of my life.

So I'm posting this to ask, what should I do from here?

Please don't say 'live with it.' I hate being a below-average freak. Inside, I'm a tall, confident, attractive perfectionist who always wants to be ahead of the curve in every regard. But with this cursed body, no matter what I am on the inside, as soon as someone looks at me they think to themselves "short + shit skin = BELOW AVERAGE person." So, I'm depressed every single day and pretty much wish I was never born. What am I supposed to do?

[curtis19bunnies]

Holy shit bud, really need to put things into perspective here. Almost no one is completely over the top about the way they look, whether that be height, weight, skin etc.

You come on here saying " don't tell me to live with it". What do you think you'll be able to do? Your not going to just get rid of scars or all of a sudden get tall. You have to work to get what you want and to even begin to get that you have to work through your issues.

Your short? Bulk up a bit if you want, add a bit of depth to your body. You have keloid scars? You can wear a shirt. Even so, it's disheartening to hear a doctor say that but you can't give up, you need to work at it. Stop tieing yourself worth with how you look. If you want others to respect you then they will, you just have to respect yourself first. If anyone gives you shit for being short, they will look like an idiot when you show confidence and don't pay attention to them.

Inside, everyone has things they want to change about themselves. Fuck it, Inside everyone is a complete perfectionist, a model, a rockstar etc.. Having scars does not make you a freak and by adapdting this attitude, your only further outcasting yourself and promoting that ideaology. I have acne scarring on my face so I know it's not an ideal situation, but no matter how sad you are feeling, you are coming across as a petty and ignorant person with no self respect.

Change your attitude, keep working on accepting yourself. No one is perfect. In terms in what should you do from here, I reccommend doing this.

Seek an appointment with another dermatologist in regards to your oily skin. Seek help for your scars when you get some spare time. Join a gym ( if your unhappy a bout your body, it really can give you confidence ), excel in your job and make everything else in your life work for you.

[Homer0001]

You come on here saying " don't tell me to live with it". What do you think you'll be able to do?

Nothing. How can I live with my freak features if I hate them? How can I accept that which I don't at all want? I don't know, it just seems like a quitter attitude to accept being a weirdo.

You have to work to get what you want

What happens if I want an attractive body? Hard work doesn't cure scars and improve height... I'm well aware that I have to work hard for what I want. But what if what I want can't be had?

You have keloid scars? You can wear a shirt.

Ok, then what happens if I ever get a girl in bed? What if I ever get a girlfriend? At some point, she's going to have to see my disgusting scars (and then IMO throw up)

Even so, it's disheartening to hear a doctor say that but you can't give up, you need to work at it.

Again, how do I work on the impossible? What does working out do if that's not my problem? My problem is disgusting scars that apparently can't be cured.

Stop tieing yourself worth with how you look.

I'm not. Girls are. Believe it or not, attractive girls don't want anything to do with short guys with awful skin.

No one is perfect.

No, but some are more normal than others. For example, it feels like 99% of the male population is taller than me. 99.999999% of the population doesn't have scars like I do. It feels like 99% of the population doesn't have acne or oily skin.

Of course no one is perfect, but I'm just so far below normal that it drives me nuts.

In terms in what should you do from here, I reccommend doing this.

Seek an appointment with another dermatologist in regards to your oily skin. Seek help for your scars when you get some spare time. Join a gym ( if your unhappy a bout your body, it really can give you confidence ), excel in your job and make everything else in your life work for you.

Thank you for the suggestion but this is pretty much my life right now anyway. I've seen many doctors. I've been trying to treat these scars for 2-3 years now. I'm a member of a gym. I excel in school (4.0 last semester!) yet I still hate life. The only problem I have in life is with my disgusting body, how the hell do I make my shortness and shit skin 'work for me'?

[Tyga]

Accepting what you are isn't a quitter attitude. Short with acne isn't a rarity.

There is not one single perfect human on this planet. You'll say I know that, but you need to read it again. You feel like 99.9% percent of the population doesn't have oily skin, keloid scars and short height, but your view of the world is biased towards your own flawed conclusions.

It sounds like you just want to blend in with other people, but you also want to be noticed. You'd like to walk down the mall feeling confident about your physical appearance. Who gives a fuck, man? Do you honestly believe strangers give a shit about what you look like? Nobody cares except you! Nobody will ever care about your scars or height as much as you do. I will guarantee that. Maybe, if you give people the opportunity to be part of your life, they will even accept you? Crazy idea, but I know it's true because it happens every day. Attractive girls aren't a different species. They are girls with feelings that are not as materialistic or superficial as you make them out to be. Give people a chance before you write them off. I've seen thousands of couples in my life that don't make sense. Beautiful women with men that made me scratch my head. It doesn't add up, but it took me a long time to realize relationships are based on emotion and how your partner makes you feel. Physical appearance does play a role, but you'll be surprised at the women who make exceptions. You'll never understand that unless you take a chance.

When you get older, you'll realize how pathetic it was to hold yourself back. But you learn that one by yourself. Regret is the worst type of pain. Just remember you don't have control over your genetics, but you decide what you make of it. You decide how you carry it. You said giving up and accepting yourself is a quitting attitude. But you can't even see you've already quit on yourself.

[kelso57]

study hard, make bank = profit?

women love money do it, they wont care about your acne if your wiping your ass with 100dollar bills LOL

but seriously man maybe try accutane? not sure if you mentioned if u took it or not but whatever

maybe move to a tropical area might help ur skin?

[Clare M.]

Curtis pretty much summed it up for you. You missed his point and dissected it into your own negative rationality. You have to change your attitude. Only you see yourself as a freak; people are vain and we are too caught up in our own bullshit to analyze another's flaw. Oily skin, it sucks, but you're most likely going to outgrow it in a few years. If not, use an oil controlling lotion. Can't really change the height aspect but being short doesn't necessarily entail disrespect or condescension from others. It's all about portrayal - women are attracted to confidence. I don't know what else to say, you're probably going to shoot this down but there really isn't much else to offer. Just know that most people don't perceive you as this freaky, God-awful mess you deem yourself to be.

Edited by Clare M., 04 August 2011 - 11:32 PM.

[Homer0001]

Accepting what you are isn't a quitter attitude. Short with acne isn't a rarity.
There is not one single perfect human on this planet. You'll say I know that, but you need to read it again. You feel like 99.9% percent of the population doesn't have oily skin, keloid scars and short height, but your view of the world is biased towards your own flawed conclusions.

Let me clarify. I believe 99.9% of the population does not have oily skin AND acne AND keloid scars AND no height. A significant portion of the population has one of these, maybe two or three. But I sincerely believe I'm the only one with all four.

It sounds like you just want to blend in with other people, but you also want to be noticed.

More so the latter. I've felt like and seem to have been treated like a loser all my life so obviously I'd love for that to change. I don't really want to blend in with other people, but I'd definitely compromise and settle for that. In other words, it's not like my wish is to be really tall with absolutely perfect skin. I'll take average height and average skin. It would be a HUGE upgrade for me without being greedy.

Do you honestly believe strangers give a shit about what you look like?

Yeah, they're called girls.

Nobody will ever care about your scars or height as much as you do. I will guarantee that. Maybe, if you give people the opportunity to be part of your life, they will even accept you? Crazy idea, but I know it's true because it happens every day.

I agree, but the fact that others don't care as much as I do doesn't mean they don't care. I mean, there's definitely a reason girls don't look at me...

Give people a chance before you write them off.

Tell that to the thousands of people who never gave me a chance.

I've seen thousands of couples in my life that don't make sense. Beautiful women with men that made me scratch my head. It doesn't add up, but it took me a long time to realize relationships are based on emotion and how your partner makes you feel. Physical appearance does play a role, but you'll be surprised at the women who make exceptions. You'll never understand that unless you take a chance.

Yeah but my point is that I don't want to be the guy that makes you scratch your head. I don't want to be a girl's exception. Do you see what I'm saying?

Just remember you don't have control over your genetics, but you decide what you make of it.

Yes but what I'm trying to ask is, what do I make out of it? What can one make with no height and awful skin?

Thank you for the reply!

[Homer0001]

Curtis pretty much summed it up for you. You missed his point and dissected it into your own negative rationality.

I was just trying to address each of his points.

Only you see yourself as a freak; people are vain and we are too caught up in our own bullshit to analyze another's flaw.

If I'm the only one seeing myself as a freak, then where are the friendly people coming up to talk to me? Where are the flirting girls? Ok, maybe 'freak' is too strong of a word, but people definitely look at my body as inferior. Yes, you're probably right that I see myself more as a freak than others, but then again, probably not if I didn't wear a shirt in public!

Oily skin, it sucks, but you're most likely going to outgrow it in a few years.

Oh I've heard this one before. "You'll grow after your junior year of high school." Bullshit. "The acne goes away eventually." Bullshit. Now the oily skin will magically disappear? Until I see it happen, I'm going to call bullshit.

If not, use an oil controlling lotion.

Such as? The derm seemed to imply that the tazorac I use is the best thing for oily skin but it doesn't do jack shit! Please, if you have a certain product, please share!

Can't really change the height aspect but being short doesn't necessarily entail disrespect or condescension from others.

HAHAHA Try it! Being a short guy is like being a fat girl that can't lose weight at all, or a flat girl that can't get augmentation surgery. And trust me, all other guys do is point out the shortness, especially friends! They just joke about it, but it still involves disrespect and condescension.

It's all about portrayal - women are attracted to confidence. I don't know what else to say, you're probably going to shoot this down but there really isn't much else to offer. Just know that most people don't perceive you as this freaky, God-awful mess you deem yourself to be.

Portrayal... like height and skin? I know this isn't what you meant. but be careful with your words. I don't know how I can be confident. To be confident I have to love myself. But I hate myself. Whether I can change it or not, I really hate my below average features. How am I supposed to fall in love with them? I feel like a phony, lying asshole if I try to convince myself that my disgusting features are awesome.

Thanks for the reply!

[jessikur55]

Hey these people are giving you GREAT advice and you don't seem to be liking any of it....


Anyways, looks aren't everything. I know what you're thinking "In this society it is" but its not. All those pretty girls in high school are gonna get old and saggy and their boobs are gonna be droopy, no matter how pretty they used to be. Same goes for guys.

Honestly, I don't date guys because of their looks. Its ALL about personality. I can date a guy that weighs 300 pounds and as long as he makes me happy, Its all good. Don't put yourself down, you're probably a great guy. No body is perfect. I'm here because I'm not perfect, I'm fucking ugly but I'm still here and I still date guys and they get past my fuglyness. Yeah, it sucks but what can you do?

But seriously listen to everybody ^. They're giving you great advice.

Have you tried researching natural remedies for your skin problems?
I know this is gonna sound so freaking gross but I heard dried rattle snake meat is EXTREMELY great for skin problems. I heard skunk meat is great too. Just try it out, its not gonna kill you. (I'm Mexican, Mexicans come up with insane remedies that work).

I hope you find a break through. I know how you feel.

[Tyga]

Let me clarify. I believe 99.9% of the population does not have oily skin AND acne AND keloid scars AND no height. A significant portion of the population has one of these, maybe two or three. But I sincerely believe I'm the only one with all four.

You're mistaken. I've read many stories on this website about people who have severe acne scarring, short height, oily skin, etc... You are not the only one in the boat. You have no idea what I'm dealing with. You don't have a clue how many problems people have with their appearance.

More so the latter. I've felt like and seem to have been treated like a loser all my life so obviously I'd love for that to change. I don't really want to blend in with other people, but I'd definitely compromise and settle for that. In other words, it's not like my wish is to be really tall with absolutely perfect skin. I'll take average height and average skin. It would be a HUGE upgrade for me without being greedy.

You're not going to have those things. Why dwell on what you can't have? Now you're saying you would settle on average height and average skin, but in an earlier post you said you are a tall, clear skinned perfectionist inside. Would the perfectionist inside settle for average height and average skin? Chances are you would find something to hate about your body, and that would bring you back to what you're comfortable with: Misery.

Yeah, they're called girls.

No. Girls that walk by don't give a shit what you look like. They just don't. There are superficial people in this world, but not all of them are as judgmental as you make them out to be.

Yeah but my point is that I don't want to be the guy that makes you scratch your head. I don't want to be a girl's exception. Do you see what I'm saying?

Yes, but the guy that you're scratching your head at doesn't care what you and I think. He is happy with his relationship. Why should judgement from a stranger make him feel bad about a relationship with his girlfriend? You ignored what I said about how women choose their partners. Women are more attracted to how they feel around a man.

Yes but what I'm trying to ask is, what do I make out of it? What can one make with no height and awful skin?

Thank you for the reply!

I guess that's up to you? If you believe life is just a good looks contest then yeah, you're fucked. You can't ask somebody else what to do with your life.

[CottonCandi]

Get a different dermatologist. Get a different opinion. Btw if a girl is going to look at your scars and barf, she isn't the girl for you.

[Tyga]

Portrayal... like height and skin? I know this isn't what you meant. but be careful with your words. I don't know how I can be confident. To be confident I have to love myself. But I hate myself. Whether I can change it or not, I really hate my below average features. How am I supposed to fall in love with them? I feel like a phony, lying asshole if I try to convince myself that my disgusting features are awesome.
Thanks for the reply!

Confidence comes from accepting who you are. All of what you are. If you're not going to accept what you are, then you're never going to be confident. Women are never attracted to men without confidence. They are not attracted to negativity.

[CottonCandi]

Confidence comes from accepting who you are. All of what you are. If you're not going to accept what you are, then you're never going to be confident. Women are never attracted to men without confidence. They are not attracted to negativity.

This couldn't be more true. All the popular guys at my high school had acne and nobody cared, they still had loads of confidence.

I would date a guy with acne/scars no problem.

Edited by CottonCandi, 05 August 2011 - 10:47 AM.

[melissa6980]

Inside, I'm a tall, confident, attractive perfectionist who always wants to be ahead of the curve in every regard. But with this cursed body, no matter what I am on the inside, as soon as someone looks at me they think to themselves "short + shit skin = BELOW AVERAGE person." So, I'm depressed every single day and pretty much wish I was never born. What am I supposed to do?

First of all, I'm sorry you have to struggle with acne and scars and I'm sorry you're in pain emotionally. The perfectionism is causing you pain on top of pain though. I say this because I struggle to accept myself with any red mark or blemish and I'm spend way too much time looking in the mirror checking to see how I look, feeling so unattractive. The problem is it is impossible to be "perfect" Even if our acne and scars were perfectly corrected, there's still other imperfections. I don't think you are below average and I don't think most people honestly think you are either. What we imagine other people think isn't usually what they are actually thinking. It's really likely that they are too busy thinking of themselves to carry about our height or skin.

What should you do now?
You could get a second opinion on the scars and by all means keep trying to treat the acne. I think what might be more important than those things though is some counseling. Acne is traumatic but the way we are thinking traumatizes us further. You don't deserve to have to suffer from depression and I really believe it takes working on the inside as well as the outside to overcome depression.

[melissa6980]

I want to add something else. Some people thought I was cute even with a little cystic acne and being petite and I can understand why you would feel self conscious of your scars, height and acne around girls. I struggle sometimes to believe guys would be interested in me even though I was married for a few years. My ex was the shortest man I've ever met and I liked it, I thought it was pretty cool to have a guy who was my own height. Here's the thing, when I hear you say that about women not being interested in a short guy with scars, oily skin and acne, it makes me kind of sad. Because, I would be very interested in a guy who had all those things if he was kind and I liked what he was inside. I wouldn't be put off if he had scars when he took his shirt off. That's totally a non-issue for me. When people get old, we're all going to wrinkle, if someone is that shallow that she is concerned about scars and only interested in looks, I would be deeply concerned that she'd leave when wrinkles or gray hair or other problems come. There are beautiful women who would be interested in being your girlfriend and when you find the right one, she will love you for you instead of expecting you to keep up some exhausting facade of "perfect looks"

[wade91]

How tall are you? I went out to eat yesterday and there was a guy wayy shorter than me eating with a hot girl, this guy couldn't have been taller than 5'3. I can tell you for a fact that no guys care how tall you are unless there douchebags and some girls have a thing for short guys just like tall guys. To take care of the skin, I'd go to another derm and see what they say.

[SickofLife]

I completely can relate with the shortness issue. I'm 18, 5'7, and I have moderate acne. I don't see many short people with acne (hell, I don't see many people with acne in general). Most people (men) with acne are 6 foot or over. It's really depressing knowing not only am I short, but I also have acne. Fucking bullshit. Don't worry, God hates me too. I know the feeling.

[Clare M.]

If I'm the only one seeing myself as a freak, then where are the friendly people coming up to talk to me? Where are the flirting girls? Ok, maybe 'freak' is too strong of a word, but people definitely look at my body as inferior. Yes, you're probably right that I see myself more as a freak than others, but then again, probably not if I didn't wear a shirt in public!

Have you ever heard of a self-fulfilling prophecy? If you feel inadequate/insecure about something then you are going to portray an unapproachable image which in turn steers people away.

The derm seemed to imply that the tazorac I use is the best thing for oily skin but it doesn't do jack shit! Please, if you have a certain product, please share!

Mary Kay has an oil-control lotion that is amazing. It is SOO drying, in fact, too drying for my skin which I thought was fairly oily.

HAHAHA Try it! Being a short guy is like being a fat girl that can't lose weight at all, or a flat girl that can't get augmentation surgery. And trust me, all other guys do is point out the shortness, especially friends! They just joke about it, but it still involves disrespect and condescension.

Again, you're missing my point. You're assuming all fat or flat girls feel as inadequate about their weight or chest as you do about you height. False. I know heavy girls and flat girls that are each content with their "flaws". What's the difference between you and them? Confidence, self-acceptance. Being able to deal with the cards they were dealt with and find strength in it. I'm sorry your friends joke about your height, but honestly man, why let them get to you?

Portrayal... like height and skin? I know this isn't what you meant. but be careful with your words. I don't know how I can be confident. To be confident I have to love myself. But I hate myself. Whether I can change it or not, I really hate my below average features. How am I supposed to fall in love with them? I feel like a phony, lying asshole if I try to convince myself that my disgusting features are awesome.

Portrayal as in confidence. Fake it even if you aren't confident with 100% of each part of yourself. Nobody is. We're all human, all flawed. And you don't have to love your bad features. You have to learn to accept them and deal cause honestly that's all you can do. Realize looks are superficial, fleeting, and in 20 years you're going to be bitching about wrinkles so embrace life while you can because in another few years there is going to be a whole set of new problems.

Good luck man.

[Homer0001]

Confidence comes from accepting who you are. All of what you are. If you're not going to accept what you are, then you're never going to be confident. Women are never attracted to men without confidence. They are not attracted to negativity.

What exactly is your definition of "accepting"?

We always hear and use the phrase "accept who you are," but nobody has ever really explained exactly what that means.

When I try to imagine "accepting" myself, I tend to imagine "loving" myself. But that I don't think is the proper translation of "accept." What do you think?

[Homer0001]

I completely can relate with the shortness issue. I'm 18, 5'7, and I have moderate acne. I don't see many short people with acne (hell, I don't see many people with acne in general). Most people (men) with acne are 6 foot or over. It's really depressing knowing not only am I short, but I also have acne. Fucking bullshit. Don't worry, God hates me too. I know the feeling.

The kicker is that shit skin and no height are unchangeable! Fat people can diet and exercise, flat girls can get surgery. And yet even though we have unchangeable features, society makes them dating prerequisites. The man has to be taller. The skin has to be clear. Then you date and worry about things like personality.

To tell you the truth, it's beyond fucking bullshit.