26 replies to this topic

[ryizzle]

Me and my girlfriend have been dating for a while now. She naturally has clear perfect skin and shes always wanting to take pictures with me and skype with me. But i keep telling her i dont want to because of my acne . Now my acne overall isnt severe, but its not god either. Pretty Much i always have a few zits on my face. Anyways, i feel like me being who i am and not wanting to take pictures or skype with her is actually breaking us up. Im so self conscious of what she thinks of my face cause her's is ALWAYS clear. like she might get 1 pimple every month but they are very tiny. like so tiny that the next day its gone. So shes always happy and she says she loves me, but when we hang out i always try to avoid looking her in the eyes or give her full face contact cause when i compare her skin to mine...i get so depressed. She asks me whats wrong and all i say is "im just having a bad day." Sometimes my acne gets so worse that i cry myself to sleep. Like i know its odd for a guy to cry himself to sleep, but its not fair that her and all my friends get clear skin and im the only one who gets it bad. I hate it so much that i actually will only smile maybe twice a day. I wish my acne would just go kill itself like i want to now. Im tired of dealing with it. My girlfriend tells me that im cute, but when i look i the mirror its honestly terrible. I see kids all around school with clear skin and it seems like im the only one in my grade with it bad. On top of all that my friends make fun of me for having it and believe it or not so does my family. everyone constantly makes fun of me and they say things like "what the HELL!?" this is why i cant stand being who i am.

[all in 87]

Dude you have a girlfriend cheer up alittle and don't be so hard on yourself.

A lot of people here can't even get into a relationship with someone you should count your blessings. I wish a girl would want to take pictures with me, Again try not to be so hard on yourself and your friends and family are tools for making fun of you forget them.

Try to hang in there hopes it gets better!

[Ivy.]

I was / am in a similar situation, but I am a girl with a boyfriend. I won't make eyecontact if we're close together as if i'm thinking if he can't see my eyes he cant see my acne.

Afew weeks ago at one point I had 5-8 active pimples on my forhead, and eventually I had a large cyst right between my eyebrows (great place for a cyst I know).

I started obsessing over my skin in fear he would break up with me because of it.

But at the moment we are still together, he still loves me.

He has perfect skin on his face, but does get pimples on his body, sometimes rather large ones, but they seem to fade quicky and they don't leave hyperpigmentation marks like mine do on my face, so in a sense maybe he can relate to me on some level but I feel he didn't understand why I was so upset.

Also I can relate about seeing others with perfect skin, it seems everyone but me doesn't get acne.

[PaulH85]

I can't relate, as I've never been in a relationship, although I suppose one of my biggest fears if I did attract someone would be that they'd eventually get fed up with me due to my lack of confidence and general dislike of my appearance. Countless friends post pictures of themselves with their partners on Facebook, etc. Everywhere they go, everything seems to documented by camera phones so there are always snaps of days out, parties, and so on. I see those and I think, 'Imagine if I had a girlfriend and we were out somewhere, and she wanted to take a picture on her phone to show people on Facebook what we were doing'... I'd hate that and would be trying to work out which was the better option; have the picture taken and feel horrible in comparison and feel like her friends would laugh at me, or refuse the picture and perhaps come across as miserable and as though I wasn't enjoying being with her. I know for a fact that my opinion of myself physically is pretty low, and that lack of confidence and self-esteem is surely far more unattractive than any physical features ever possibly could be.

You're right to want to address this because it could be a problem. It's not going to go away on its own, and further down the line it could well make a big contribution to problems in your relationship. In that case, I'd be inclined to talk about this with your partner, tell them how you're struggling with it. I imagine that all they would want to do is listen, understand, and help you feel better. Doing so could bring you closer together. Otherwise, it could snowball if they start to wonder if you being distant could mean you're going off them.

I can't say, "Just be happy", or "Get over it" because that's not how these things work. Whatever's gone on with you skin and so on - and also with the people who have made fun of you which really isn't fair of them - brings you down and you start to feel inadequate in relation to other people. That builds up over time and it's also something you have to recover from over time. It's a gradual process to build up your self-esteem, and I would imagine having a partner is who most likely going to tell you that they love you for who you are would be a massive boost, but you have to let them in and open up to them in the first place.

Best of luck!

Edited by PaulH85, 20 March 2011 - 07:27 AM.

[MelOuttaMegacity]

You DO realize that you're sabotaging your own relationship because of your insecurities, right?

I can definitely relate. But the truth of the matter is... you found someone who loves you for you. How often will you find someone like that? And now you're just pushing her away. I know this isn't your intention, but that's what's happening.

Your gf want to take pics all the time because she loves you and wants to capture every moment. I know it sucks for you. You can just tell her ... not right now, or wait for a better day. But you can't put her off all the time. You should also talk to her about your self-esteem issues.

But really... the problem is you, not her. You gotta work on your self-esteem. I'm sure she can help you with it. She obviously loves you.

[chensg]

i can relate to you dude. my ex gf used to be a cam whore, nthin offensive, but she loves taking pics of herself and naturally when i was her bf she wanted me to be part of it, the problem is i hated the way my skin look. it always look darn oily and flawed when im next to her, i hated it, and just told her i avoid picture taking cuz i dont like it. she prob doesnt know its because of acne. she gets mad at me when i insist i didnt want my pics taken with her, she has perfect skin btw. although she used to threaten to break up with me if my skin gets worse, i know she wldnt, and i know she loves me for who i am, i know ur worries, but if i were to do things differently now, just do it. she obviously loves u w/ or w/o acne, at least, tell her dont post the pics up on facebook or sth as a condition.ha.hope i help..

Edited by chensg, 04 April 2011 - 10:33 AM.

[SEVEN_SECONDS_AWAY!]

you girlfriend loves you for who you are not for what you have. if she loves you so much she will accept you for who you are. now to all those jerks who make fun of your acne especially your stupid family they should go to hell, and you should tell them that at least you have a girlfriend. having a clear skin doesn´t mean anything. don´t let people put you down, because you do let them they would destroy your life completely. negative comments should be ignored completely. you should hang out with those who make you smile everyday and who would love you no matter what. don´t feel lonely you have your girlfriend and don´t let acne destroy your life and your relationship with your girlfriend because one day...you might be single for the rest of your life not because of your acne because you just can´t accept yourself. the worst thing that could happen to a human being is not to accept who they are. if you don´t accept yourself who else is gonna do it??? i just think that for now you should only worry about you and your girlfriend. also try to solve this problem by visiting a dermatologist so you will feel much better. don´t break your girlfriend´s heart. because it´s sad that you are feeling this way and destroying this relationship with her. and you shouldn´t care if she has clear skin cause you are not the only one who has acne, alot of people have disfigurments and they have children and they are happily married. some people are in a worst place than you. if you girlfriend doesn´t like your acne then she wouldn´t even be with you. this is a chance for you to prove that no matter what you have in your skin you can always be with someone who loves you and accepts you. looks don´t always matter, and you might not have super clear skin...but you might have a great personality, beautiful smile, beautiful eyes you might even be way hotter than other guys out there. acne doesn´t change a thing. and if those jerks who make fun of you, you should forget them, ignored them cause all they want is to destroy you. they are like your worst enemies, who would try to do anything to destroy you and win this battle. but soon you will be the winner and you got to show them that you are better than them.

[please-let-it-work]

@chensg

omg, she said she would break up with you if your acne got any worse?? are you serious?? that is such a nasty thing to say!! if my boyfriend said that to me, I would drop him like hes hot. You shouldnt let her say stuff like that to you. Just because you have acne, doesnt mean you dont have pride and feelings.

Sorry i know you love her, im sure shes lovely normally...but who puts that kind of ultimatum over their own boyfriends head??

Hope youre ok

xx

[chensg]

@chensg

omg, she said she would break up with you if your acne got any worse?? are you serious?? that is such a nasty thing to say!! if my boyfriend said that to me, I would drop him like hes hot. You shouldnt let her say stuff like that to you. Just because you have acne, doesnt mean you dont have pride and feelings.

Sorry i know you love her, im sure shes lovely normally...but who puts that kind of ultimatum over their own boyfriends head??

Hope youre ok

xx

when i met her i was relatively okay, i mean i still have breakouts, but i had actually used concealer (im embarrassed to say that,im a guy, but since this forum is all about the truth, here i am) and so i dont look so ridicuclous then.when we dated, naturally she'll tend to see me on the good/bad days,and she started asking why is my skin getting worse. which really isnt, just that its my skin w/o the concealer.thus her comments.she would recommend me to put on BP,but i know it wouldnt work.well anyway im glad its over, since many times i have had to call off outings when i have a really bad breakout and she dont seem to get it how this acne is really bothering me, n i would tell her i forgot instead (i have a big ego). for now at least being single gives me a chance to stay home when i want etc. as a result my life has really suffered because of acne, i dont have many friends, and some thinks im a stuck-up because i tend to stand them up at the last min (during moments when i really cant bring myself out to meet them). as a matter of fact i am just about to reject going to a gathering this wk cuz my acne is getting worse.i know it sounds vain and all, but its a psycological thing,i hate the look that ppl gave me when they see me, i get all paranoid. its crazy how acne can really affects ones life. i wouldnt wish that on anybody else. its a f**ked up thing.

[mrjarjarbinks77]

Me and my girlfriend have been dating for a while now. She naturally has clear perfect skin and shes always wanting to take pictures with me and skype with me. But i keep telling her i dont want to because of my acne . Now my acne overall isnt severe, but its not god either. Pretty Much i always have a few zits on my face. Anyways, i feel like me being who i am and not wanting to take pictures or skype with her is actually breaking us up. Im so self conscious of what she thinks of my face cause her's is ALWAYS clear. like she might get 1 pimple every month but they are very tiny. like so tiny that the next day its gone. So shes always happy and she says she loves me, but when we hang out i always try to avoid looking her in the eyes or give her full face contact cause when i compare her skin to mine...i get so depressed. She asks me whats wrong and all i say is "im just having a bad day." Sometimes my acne gets so worse that i cry myself to sleep. Like i know its odd for a guy to cry himself to sleep, but its not fair that her and all my friends get clear skin and im the only one who gets it bad. I hate it so much that i actually will only smile maybe twice a day. I wish my acne would just go kill itself like i want to now. Im tired of dealing with it. My girlfriend tells me that im cute, but when i look i the mirror its honestly terrible. I see kids all around school with clear skin and it seems like im the only one in my grade with it bad. On top of all that my friends make fun of me for having it and believe it or not so does my family. everyone constantly makes fun of me and they say things like "what the HELL!?" this is why i cant stand being who i am.

http://images.teamsugar.com/files/users/0/...07/092707hk.jpg

You cannot be worse then that man who suffered from lupus. Little advice, looks are skin deep, are very fragile, and can be taken from you very easily. No, I totally understand yet, its gay for any man to be "crying" but, your hurting and suffering physically and psychologically.

Be a confident man with or without acne. I beg you, get help no matter how "not severe" your acne is. I didn't think my acne was "severe" but, I was said to be in phase 3/4 of by estimation according to a med student studying under my dermatologist. The kid is very awkward but, very caring, and compassionate like my dermatologist. Please, I wish you to get yourself some help, first with a dermatologist, and secondly, talk to someone, family, friends, a gf, a counselor, and or someone you trust. Its not healthy man. I've been low not to the point of suicide but, feeling depressed, hopeless, like giving up, and wishing to leave this world though, I would never do that myself. I wont cry over this but, at times, I feel like it on the inside man. I can relate. On a positive note, you have a gf, its more then I can say of myself currently.

Last year, i was seeing/dating, and meeting girls. This year, if a girl looks my way, I am very self conscious, insecure, and depressed. I've been hiding away from the camera, from family, friends, and everyone. Like you, I am being very unattractive based upon my behavior. Seal is an inspiration for me cause, no matter how bad my acne was or some shallow scar is, the man has gone through much worse from birth, still has a model wife, and beautiful family. The guy is motivational and I love people who inspire.

Don't ruin your gf. Just say, I am not feeling my best cause of this "minor breakout so, how about we save the pics for another time. Instead, lets go out some where or rent a movie." She'll know where your behavior is coming from rather then, feeling distant to you? Good luck man.

PS: Please get help for the acne. If you get cystic acne, its what causes scars even if you don't touch or pick and pop it. It just gets deep into the skin and the body heals by forming a scar. Not cool but, we could have lupus and then what? Someone is always worst off man. Your girl see the beauty and attraction in you with or without acne man. Its only skin deep.

[mrjarjarbinks77]

@chensg

omg, she said she would break up with you if your acne got any worse?? are you serious?? that is such a nasty thing to say!! if my boyfriend said that to me, I would drop him like hes hot. You shouldnt let her say stuff like that to you. Just because you have acne, doesnt mean you dont have pride and feelings.

Sorry i know you love her, im sure shes lovely normally...but who puts that kind of ultimatum over their own boyfriends head??

Hope youre ok

xx

when i met her i was relatively okay, i mean i still have breakouts, but i had actually used concealer (im embarrassed to say that,im a guy, but since this forum is all about the truth, here i am) and so i dont look so ridicuclous then.when we dated, naturally she'll tend to see me on the good/bad days,and she started asking why is my skin getting worse. which really isnt, just that its my skin w/o the concealer.thus her comments.she would recommend me to put on BP,but i know it wouldnt work.well anyway im glad its over, since many times i have had to call off outings when i have a really bad breakout and she dont seem to get it how this acne is really bothering me, n i would tell her i forgot instead (i have a big ego). for now at least being single gives me a chance to stay home when i want etc. as a result my life has really suffered because of acne, i dont have many friends, and some thinks im a stuck-up because i tend to stand them up at the last min (during moments when i really cant bring myself out to meet them). as a matter of fact i am just about to reject going to a gathering this wk cuz my acne is getting worse.i know it sounds vain and all, but its a psycological thing,i hate the look that ppl gave me when they see me, i get all paranoid. its crazy how acne can really affects ones life. i wouldnt wish that on anybody else. its a f**ked up thing.

@chensg

omg, she said she would break up with you if your acne got any worse?? are you serious?? that is such a nasty thing to say!! if my boyfriend said that to me, I would drop him like hes hot. You shouldnt let her say stuff like that to you. Just because you have acne, doesnt mean you dont have pride and feelings.

Sorry i know you love her, im sure shes lovely normally...but who puts that kind of ultimatum over their own boyfriends head??

Hope youre ok

xx

^ This!

[facelessvoid]

Me and my girlfriend have been dating for a while now. She naturally has clear perfect skin and shes always wanting to take pictures with me and skype with me. But i keep telling her i dont want to because of my acne . Now my acne overall isnt severe, but its not god either. Pretty Much i always have a few zits on my face. Anyways, i feel like me being who i am and not wanting to take pictures or skype with her is actually breaking us up. Im so self conscious of what she thinks of my face cause her's is ALWAYS clear. like she might get 1 pimple every month but they are very tiny. like so tiny that the next day its gone. So shes always happy and she says she loves me, but when we hang out i always try to avoid looking her in the eyes or give her full face contact cause when i compare her skin to mine...i get so depressed. She asks me whats wrong and all i say is "im just having a bad day." Sometimes my acne gets so worse that i cry myself to sleep. Like i know its odd for a guy to cry himself to sleep, but its not fair that her and all my friends get clear skin and im the only one who gets it bad. I hate it so much that i actually will only smile maybe twice a day. I wish my acne would just go kill itself like i want to now. Im tired of dealing with it. My girlfriend tells me that im cute, but when i look i the mirror its honestly terrible. I see kids all around school with clear skin and it seems like im the only one in my grade with it bad. On top of all that my friends make fun of me for having it and believe it or not so does my family. everyone constantly makes fun of me and they say things like "what the HELL!?" this is why i cant stand being who i am.

Man lemme tell u somethin..don't let your acne fuck up your relationship.....i used to love the most beautiful girl in the world(according to me Yes) and i messed up coz i never got the guts to tell her about how acne was affecting me..i'd always be down.and the funny thing is when ever she asked me what's wrong?, i'd tell her her life is difficult..life is difficult..without ever mention what's making my life a living hell.well she began to seriously think i was not happy with her..though i tried in every fucking way to make her feel the most loved person in the whole damned world..messages..words..but i never could properly talk to her about it...and so it had to end..
and man..no day passes by without me thinking..what if????

well life goes on..but if you are a man and you love your girl, you gotta talk to her..properly that is.address the issue.explain and make her understand....!!!!!!!!!
be a man..you gotta have the strength to hold your head up and spit your mockers at their face!!!!you've got my support, my middle finger salutes em fucking pricks!!!!

Go getter!!!!!!
Now go and Rock!!!!!!!!!!

[mrjarjarbinks77]

Man lemme tell u somethin..don't let your acne fuck up your relationship.....i used to love the most beautiful girl in the world(according to me Yes) and i messed up coz i never got the guts to tell her about how acne was affecting me..i'd always be down.and the funny thing is when ever she asked me what's wrong?, i'd tell her her life is difficult..life is difficult..without ever mention what's making my life a living hell.well she began to seriously think i was not happy with her..though i tried in every fucking way to make her feel the most loved person in the whole damned world..messages..words..but i never could properly talk to her about it...and so it had to end..
and man..no day passes by without me thinking..what if????

well life goes on..but if you are a man and you love your girl, you gotta talk to her..properly that is.address the issue.explain and make her understand....!!!!!!!!!
be a man..you gotta have the strength to hold your head up and spit your mockers at their face!!!!you've got my support, my middle finger salutes em fucking pricks!!!!

Go getter!!!!!!
Now go and Rock!!!!!!!!!!

I was thinking the samething but, that bitch said she would leave him if it gets any worse. As if the kid wants horrible acne or scars. Some people are ignorant. Its good to get help. I heard a kid on the forum from the UK, age 23 saying his parents were shouting at him at 16 to see the doctor/dermatologist. FUCK MY LIFE, I wish mine did the same thing instead of, bitching at each other about money, and other shit that doesn't matter. You just got to have faith. Look at Seal with his scars from lupus, married to model Hedi Klum, beautiful family, kids, awesome voice, and strong mentally. Can you imagine if he just remained depressed or gave up? The world would have missed out on such an talent and inspirational story.

[acnegonenow]

Look at Seal with his scars from lupus, married to model Hedi Klum, beautiful family, kids, awesome voice, and strong mentally. Can you imagine if he just remained depressed or gave up? The world would have missed out on such an talent and inspirational story.

OK i agree that Seal has lupus and all and still got Heidi but they are under different circumstances.

In the real non celebrity, non managers, non assistants introducing people to each other.
How many girls out there age 18-25 in college seriously gonna give a guy a chance whose face is covered in distracting scars and zits???

Edited by acnegonenow, 07 April 2011 - 03:39 PM.

[kamran]

im in a similar situation and man i know ow you feel! stay strong. and hope things work out how you want them to.

[--Val Pal--]

dont lose her! communication is KEY in relationships, tell her how hard it is for u, and how u feel about ur acne. trust me, i didnt do that for ...YEARS, and then with this guy im dating right now, i told him my freakin huge insecurity about my face and he like..totally accepted it. she seems to REALLY like u, she clearly doesnt mind ur acne=) u should totally be happy in ur relationship and try to be positive =D

[vanillacupcake]

she loves you. and everyone has their self esteem issues whether it be about their weight, skin, hair, clothes, whatever. i'm sure she is insecure about something too, everyone is. part of loving some one unconditionally is loving them AND their flaws. i know how you feel i break out from time to time and my bf has perfect skin. don't let this sabotage your relationship because if you really love her you will be more unhappy without her. don't ruin a good thing, true unconditional love doesn't come by too often

[mrjarjarbinks77]

Look at Seal with his scars from lupus, married to model Hedi Klum, beautiful family, kids, awesome voice, and strong mentally. Can you imagine if he just remained depressed or gave up? The world would have missed out on such an talent and inspirational story.

OK i agree that Seal has lupus and all and still got Heidi but they are under different circumstances.

In the real non celebrity, non managers, non assistants introducing people to each other.
How many girls out there age 18-25 in college seriously gonna give a guy a chance whose face is covered in distracting scars and zits???

You got a point man and I am insecure at times too. Its not hard but, I am not after them all man. I just want the one that is beautiful not just on the outside you know? The girl, Hedi has her own show, they got kids, and if she wanted out, she could have left ages ago. She over looked it. The thing that hinders most with acne and scars is that many hide away from the world. That way, your not meeting anyone or getting close to anyone. Surely enough what happens then? Nothing. What I am saying is that, no matter how bad your scars are, someone has it worse. I am pretty depressed about my shallow scar but, Seal is much worse. It didn't stop him from being a artist, from getting married, finding a beautiful girl, and having a family living a full life.

Its this sort of inspiration we need in us. The depression, feeling sorry for ourselves, and not really living is not doing it for me. It sucks but, what can we do but move on? Love ourselves despite the disease. We need to love ourselves first before someone else will love us./

[IWishIHadClearSkin]

I can totally relate, but the thing is I never have the willpower to open up to anybody. Im scared what will happen after what they will think. I wish i can talk to someone about my acne, but im just too afraid. Its really affecting my social life.

[Acne Security]

If you acne is bad enough to cry yourself to sleep, and you somehow have managed to get a girl; your in pretty good shape haha. But I understand how annoying it is my gf was at one point a PHOTOGRAPHY MAJOR; you think you've had embracing pics of your acne until ALL your imperfections get owned by a $2000 Canon Digital SLR hahaha it makes life seem not worth living... just kidding its not THAT bad,

Seriously though...

Edited by hockeymc16, 12 April 2011 - 06:29 AM.