3 replies to this topic

[pimples900]

well, i've always had mild acne, just a few pimples here and there, since high school. at the time, i thought my skin was horrible. now i realize it wasn't. at 24, i would give anything to have that skin back. it wasn't perfect but it wasn't covered in red scars and wounds. perspective.
i was prescribed adderall xr two years ago. i take it a few times a week when i am in class. i graduate this may so i won't be taking it anymore after that. i know adderall has a bad reputation because a lot of people abuse it. i actually need it and cannot function normally without it. as far as academics are concerned, it has been a god-send because i am actually able to sit still for 2 hours.
the problem is when i get home. i feel like a fucking meth addict. i cannot fight the compulsion to pick. i become fixated for hours. and my skin looks like a fucking meth addict. open sores. bleeding. inflamed. sometimes i will be squeezing and squeezing so hard, for so long, and i will be telling myself to STOP. but i won't. and then i'll have an open sore on my face.
two years ago my skin wasn't great. five years ago my skin wasn't great. but it wasn't horrifyingly awful the way it is now. with scars all over it that no amount of concealer and foundation can possible cover. and i walk around looking like a fucking clown with caked on make-up trying to hide the fact that i mutilate myself. it is embarrassing. absolutely embarrassing.
the obvious solution is to stop taking the adderall but i can't risk compromising my grades now. in too deep. too close to the end.
does anybody else take this drug?
has anybody here successfully faded their scars?
has anybody here successfully quit picking?
does anybody else view this as a form of self-mutilation? self-loathing?

[grace_w]

I just googled "adderall and picking" the other day, wondering the same thing...

Turns out what I suspected was true: the adderall is making it worse.

I've been picking on and off for years. more recently it started getting out of control. I've managed to keep the damage to my face down to a minimum, but my back and arms are another story. If I can cover it with clothing it's fair game.

I'm in a pretty good place emotionally right now, but that's the result of carefully fine-tuning a mix of meds. I never talked to any of my psychiatrists about my picking, but other symptoms made it clear that I suffer from anxiety (generally present, not situation-induced) with a "combination of OCD related behaviors." I'm not sure I would say I have ADD, but the trouble is so many symptoms overlap.

For me, without meds: my brain is a flashing screen of images and thoughts, constantly two steps ahead of me. The anxiety manifests itself physically, I tap my fingers, rub fabrics, chew the inside of my mouth, pick, though nowhere near as bad as with the adderall. It's all about self-soothing and distracting myself (none of which I'm doing consciously).

To bring down the anxiety I take ativan (a cousin of klonopin). This drug was life-changing. I don't get high off it like some people who abuse benzos, it brings me back to a normal state. I can breathe calmly, relax my hands, and the crazy slideshow in my head slows down.

I started taking adderall after some long talks with my Dr. In school I find it either impossible to concentrate on anything, or entranced by one task. Either way I have absolutely no concept of time passing, and am frequently immobilized when it comes to starting a task.

Adderall has been wonderful to combat that. I feel sharp, purposeful. etc.

BUT. as soon as I added it, the picking got worse. It comes down to brain chemistry. Adderall is a stimulant. It increases norepinephrine, dopamine and seratonin in your brain by slowing down their reuptake. That's great for stimulating the parts of your brain that get you to focus. But a flat out increase of those neurotransmitters is not always good. Its hitting all the receptors in your brain when some don't need it. Tipping the balance too far for any of these chemicals can trigger depression, OCD, etc. In your case (and mine, and tons of people) adderall tips the scale too far into obsessive territory, and picking as a compulsive, self-soothing behavior results.

It's a tough call: if the benefits of adderall are worth it. There are lots of other ADD meds to pick from, you might want to explore those.

I've managed to stay with it and break my picking habit through hard work and looking at other things that will relax me (ativan sometimes) or at least distract me long enough to shake the urge.

Picking when triggered by adderall is most likely a compulsive behavior, vs self-loathing. Most of my picking is driven by a misguided desire to clean things off my skin rather than inflict pain on myself. Skin is accessible.. I'd argue a lot of the cause is really tied up in the fact that you're carrying it around with you all day and it's natural to start fussing with it.

I came up with all sorts of tricks to keep my hands off my skin and let it heal,
and have been going about treating the actual acne and healing the scars. Scars are the toughest part. Mine are fading slightly (on my arms and back). I put neosporin and vitamin e on them, and cover with a hydrocolloid band-aid (those are incredible.. they're newish). Taking vitamins is a huge help for you skin (espc. E, Flax Seed, and D, though a strong multi wouldn't hurt as well.

Hope that helps!

[Kate35]

You know I have never been on a message board at all & frankly feeling nervous about posting, but WOW it is such a relief to see that I'm not alone when it comes to the embarrassing "picking" obsession or that I'm just plain nuts!! I'm 35 and have been on Adderall off and on for 2 years, but it was last year that I noticed the picking. It wasn't so bad at first - especially when comparing it to the short course of Vyvanse my doc had put me on where I wasn't picking really more like CONSTANTLY touching my face/mouth to the point that cashiers at the grocery store would ask me if I had a toothache or something. Talk about wanting to crawl under a rug!! So my doc finally agreed to switch me back to the Adderall & sure enough the picking started again. Mine don't seem like acne, which trust me I have had, but more like blisters at the earlobe crease, side of my neck, jawline and chin. I about have butchered myself too & have started wearing gloves around the house and when I go to bed to prevent picking in my sleep. Catch 22 though isn't it? You need the medication to live a productive life, but what kind of life can you have when you look like a methhead! It just feels good to get this off my chest. Thanks for listening & sorry if I blabbered too much!

[Acne Security]

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Edited by Acne Security, 14 June 2011 - 08:49 PM.