57 replies to this topic

[MrJ]

How do you feel when you see other people with acne scars?

Personally, I notice them but after that think nothing of it. As far as I'm concerned it doesn't take anything away from them, like say a lot of freckles or something.

With myself, I hate my scars with a passion. I have no idea why I feel differently, I feel ugly because of it, not worthy of anybodies attentions and so on. Yet, some say a guy with scars is supposed to be "handsome". (although, in my opinion, it wouldn't bother me if a girl had scars - I saw a girl with rolling scars all over the sides of her face in a shop not long back and she was actually quite beautiful)

Why can I not feel the same way about myself? I wish I could.

[girl3900]

I know what you mean. Other peoples acne problems/scarring doesn't bother me at all. I notice it for a minute and then move on and don't think about it at after that. However, I'm so self concious about mine. I think that's all people are thinking about when they're talking to me. I know it's probobly not the case but it's hard.

[tj101]

Same thing here.

[MrJ]

I think it's because we tend to focus on our flaws than other peoples, we're our own worst enemies.

I've been avoiding looking in the mirror for weeks in an experiement. Since then, I've been feeling really good about myself. I took a look in the mirror just now, and my reaction to my scars wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, but, within a few minutes I began to obsess over them again. (albeit it I see myself in a slightly better light now - no pun intended - but I feel that will go back to being bad again)

Anyway, I've got a dermatologist appointment in about 4-5 weeks time, and hopefully they can suggest something. I just really hope the derm doesn't fob me off with Laser treatment like the last time I went. I want to see if they do something like dermabrasion.

However, I'm also thinking about getting some councelling to deal with the obsessiveness of my looks, as I think that is a big part of the problem.

[girl3900]

A lot of people were shocked when I told them how much I hate my skin. I guess I do decent job of hiding my marks with makeup. I thought they all knew for sure how bad it was and I was positive that's all they seen when they looked at me but I guess not. I'm sure no one really cares about our scars as much as we think they do...they've got other things to worry about. I should take my own advice sometimes, heh.

Some days I'll spend a couple of hours obsessing about how bad I think my skin looks and it really drags me down. I try not to do that anymore and just think if people don't like what they see, then don't look. Not everyone has perfect skin.

[Bones]

I know what you mean. Other peoples acne problems/scarring doesn't bother me at all. I notice it for a minute and then move on and don't think about it at after that. However, I'm so self concious about mine. I think that's all people are thinking about when they're talking to me. I know it's probobly not the case but it's hard.

Ditto! Other peoples scars don't even really register to me, and when meeting someone new I'm usually paying more attention to what the overall body language is and if they seem to be a nice hearted person or not.

On the flip side, I can't help but always think they are staring at MY scars, and I get a bit obsessive about it and become quite shy in social situations.

It is true, we are our own worst critics.

[GoldRex]

Mr. Bones, that's a compelling signature image. What's the story behind it? (if you're comfortable)

[Catwoman]

I'm not Mr. Bones, but I believe that's Ian Curtis' tombstone (Joy Division). Love Will Tear Us Apart was one of their songs (great song, check it out). He committed suicide...I think he was in his early 20's (way too young and talented to lose).

Other people's acne and scars don't bother me whatsoever...but I always take sidelong glances at them while I think they're not looking, not because I find them bothersome, but because I want to "gauge" how people might see me! Especially people that have similar acne as mine - then I really pay close attention (without blantantly staring), so I can get a little better idea of how other people might see my acne and scars. Then I get really depressed afterwards. *sigh*

[Catwoman]

You may not have heard of Joy Division...but chances are you've heard of New Order. After Ian Curtis died, the remaining members of Joy Division pushed on and became New Order!

[Gum/b/ullah al-Kafir]

Depeche Mode was better tho.

[Bones]

GoldRex: Yep, Catwoman was right, that is a photo of Ian Curtis' grave. I am really into "old-school" goth/industrial/punk/post-punk music, and Joy Division is one of my favorite bands. The term on the grave is indeed taken from the song Love Will Tear Us Apart, and has personal meaning to me on many levels. You are welcome to PM me and I'll explain futher -- don't want to take this thread too off topic, yanno?

And Catwoman: You rule.

[Bones]

Depeche Mode was better tho.

I don't think its fair to really compare the two, Gumby, as they are entirely different styles of music. But I agree that Depeche Mode is also fantastic, and cannot wait to see them (or Dave Gahan) again live.

[Catwoman]

And Catwoman: You rule.

Of course I do (you are SO stating the obvious). J/K. heheh.

Ditto. Hard to compare DM to NO or JD...same era same following different styles. Hmmm...I am tempted to go on, but maybe we should move this to the lounge!

[OursFan]

I have mixed feelings about it.... I feel badly for them because I know that it may have caused them suffering. At the same time, I feel a bit better about myself because it makes me feel not so alone.

I agree that acne scars don't take away from a person's appearance. In fact, sometimes it makes them more interesting to me because I feel a sort of kinship with the person.

I don't like the fact that I have acne scars but day by day I grow more accepting of myself as a human being. This is not to say that I fully accept myself, just that I try my best each day to see myself for other things besides my scars. It's a constant process of growth, change and hopefully acceptance one day.

[angel]

i know. I was at a fair yesterday and there was this guy there and he had pretty bad scarring. I tend to analyze everyones skin because of my own skin problems but his scarring was quite obvious. MANY rolling scars, icepicks, AND hypertrophics.....poor guy.....


But honestly, I didnt even think it looked that bad. I mean fine his skin didnt look even, but it just looked like some acne scars! Just a normal guy that had some acne.......He was still very attactive with them in my opinion, whereas I look at my scars and think i am a freak!

[MrJ]

Just another thought.

We all see ourselves head on, meaning any scars we have on our cheeks we see all squashed up by perspective. Anybody to the left or right of us would probably see them much more spread out and not so "obvious".

Does that make any sense? :blink:

[Lydia]

Just another thought.

We all see ourselves head on, meaning any scars we have on our cheeks we see all squashed up by perspective. Anybody to the left or right of us would probably see them much more spread out and not so "obvious".

Does that make any sense? :blink:

Yep

Might look a bit strange if you turn to the side in every conversation with someone though :wink:

[tricia]

If someone is naturally good looking but has "some" scarring it is no big deal to me and I feel good that they aren't perfect, makes them more human. If it is alot of scarring and very noticeable, I do feel sorry for them, unless they have such an awesome outgoing personality, then I usually don't. Seeing scars on others does bother me to a degree just because I'm more sensitive to it, seeing them on my face is like ten times worse though. I have a twin sister, who weighs a bit more than me now, but I got some scars and when I pointed it out to her, she made like it was a big deal and now I feel like everyone notices. :ph34r:

Maybe she's just rude or maybe we are both by nature just very visual people and any "flaw" gets to us, who knows?

[MrJ]

Just another thought.

We all see ourselves head on, meaning any scars we have on our cheeks we see all squashed up by perspective. Anybody to the left or right of us would probably see them much more spread out and not so "obvious".

Does that make any sense? :blink:

Yep

Might look a bit strange if you turn to the side in every conversation with someone though :wink:

No wonder I've been getting odd looks.

I also noticed I tend to look for the worst situations too examine my skin as well, with strong window light on my face or something - as if it makes finding my scars easier to find. I would imagine that 80-90% of the time others they wouldn't see them like that. For example, when I was in college a couple of years ago, one of the computer technicians had really bad rolling/boxcar scars down the side of his jaw. You couldn't really tell in most circumstances though, only if there was a strong light on him like a window at the end of a corridor. To be honest, I barely noticed it anyway. *shrugs*

Ahhh... I drive myself silly worrying about my own scars.

[samurai_jack]

If I see someone with bad acne scars, I think damn that looks really bad!

Then, I realize how bad I must look to other people!