Posted 17 October 2009 - 05:51 PM
Hi everybody!
I think this is going to be a really long one, but anyway here I go.
I've never written anything about this topic before (even though it had a huge impact on my life), but after reading your posts I can really relate to you guys and I thought maybe I could add something to the discussion.
First, about myself. I am a 24-year old male and I've been dealing with SD for about 2 years now. I got it after taking stuff similar to accutane. The pretty bad acne I had for years is gone, but now there is SD on my face and scalp. I am not sure what's worse... I guess they both suck in their own way.
When I first got it I was devastated and it was probably the one thing that pushed me over the edge to get seriously (and as it turned out clinically) depressed.
I started spending literally weeks with intensive research looking for reasons and solutions. I was determined, no, obsessed to find a way out of this living hell. Nothing really worked. I made lab tests and I even had an aids test done (no real probability but I wanted to rule that one out, too). Nothing I tried really seemed to work. What I really want to say is that I believe I tried EVERYTHING (shampoos, creams, food supplements, ointments, home remedies, diet etc. etc.).
But it was the wrong approach.
Nothing really seemed to work. I felt ugly, disfigured and worthless, and I almost started to put up with the idea, that in a way, my life was probably over.
I am more or less OK, now, and here is what I've learned over the last 2 years.
I'll start with the obvious stuff, many of you are probably familiar with.
1.) Every individual is different, everybody's skin/body is unique and therefore no SD is alike. SD is usually caused by numerous factors that play a bigger or smaller role in every single case (e.g. some people can eat whatever they want, others have to take great care). There is no universal solution.
I think that's the reason why it's not really understood by medical science.
There is no real "cure", and what works and what helps for others can even do you harm (e.g. aggressive anti-dandruff shampoo).
So in short, you have to find out yourself how your body works and reacts.
2.) In my mind, SD is not really an illness, because most of the pain and distress it causes is psychological. If you weren't scared what other people think of your appearance you probably wouldn't be bothered too much by SD. And in my experience these fears often are exaggerated. Quite often you are the only one who really notices the red spots and the flaking on your face.
It's just how my skin works and expresses itself. Some people are "handicapped" in much worse ways (also by characteristics).
There usually is a significant hereditary factor, it's just who I am. Sometimes your skin will be worse, sometimes it will be better (the SD not even noticeable). Sometimes you can do stuff to improve the condition, sometimes, no matter what you do, you don't stand a chance. It might even entirely go away for some time...
It doesn't mean you are a lesser person because of SD, you can still be beautiful and happy. In fact much happier than many of the "healthy" persons.
It is important to accept your skin as part of yourself. It's good to have somebody to talk about it, too...
3.) It is NOT my fault.
It should be obvious, but I think quite often it isn't. Just be aware of that and be sure to know that it's not your fault.
4.) DO NOT let SD take over your life.
I'm not really talking about the (sometimes time consuming) skin care, that becomes part of the every day routine.
Don't become obsessed with it and look at yourself in the mirror all the time... other people usually don't see you the way you see yourself. They usually aren't as cruel.
Don't become a recluse.
I've noticed, that as soon as I get out of the house and get some fresh air, see some friends or share some nearness/love my skin often gets better, almost instantaneously. The flaking disappears, the itching leaves and the redness becomes less apparent. In short, if I occupy myself with stuff and I feel happy it shows on my skin.
Opposite to that, the worst I can do to my skin is to be sad, alone and inactive.
So there often is that vicious cycle that I feel bad because of my skin, but that one reason my skin is messed up is BECAUSE I feel bad. So in my case mood and emotional stress seem to play a huge part with my SD, and I think that psychological factors play a major role in general. With me it seems to be that and climate changes...
Well, I've been going for far too long already.. and I think I could go on for much longer because there is just so much to get off my chest. Anyway, I'll try to wrap this up with a final conclusion.
In my experience, the best way to deal with SD is to be healthy, both in body and in spirit. Treat yourself well, don't hurt yourself. Don't let your social and love life suffer. You can't stay healthy when you're alone too much.
Learn to relax, enjoy nature if you can. Learn to play an instrument, get a new hobby (preferably social). Do things you LIKE.
Try to make yourself happy and start to deal with eventual unresolved issues you might have. Don't pity yourself. Change things that make you unhappy, accept those you can't change. Resolve self-esteem issues. Prolonged unhappiness will in one way or another, sooner or later, show on your body.
Set yourself goals in life and go after them.
And if you have an especially bad skin day, tell yourself that it's a passing phase and that there will be other days when you are a lot better.
It's one part to find appropriate skin treatments that work, another part is your lifestyle and personal mindset.
So that's my approach, and for me it seems to be the only one where one day it might all be okay.
I hope I could add something useful.
I wish you all the very best, take care my friends!
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