20 replies to this topic

[Meeko]

Firstly I've never written a diary or journal thing before so this could well suck but I've read so many on here while I've been on the waiting list for Accutane and some of them have been inspiring and motivating so I would love to infuse that onto someone else... even if my diary gives help / answers to 1 person then its worth it... I might type on for some time cus I can get carried away :/.

If thoughout this journal anyone has any questions or concerns that I may be able to help with or give answers to then please message me and I'll do my best to assist!

A little About Me

Hi I'm Meeko! I'm 23 years old and work in IT Support. I enjoy going out getting MC hammered, playing squash, watching american tv series, online gaming and poker. From early teens probably 13 or 14 onwards I've always had bad skin on my face, neck, shoulders and worstly affected is my back. Sometimes my skin is really clear and it feels good to look in the mirror but some days its like you just wake up and "oooo great how many spots to pop today". I find on mornings after I've been out on a heavy drinking session that my skin can be quite dry and really clear Double Vodka Redbullox For TEH WIN. I guess my skin isn't overly terrible on my face but its still enough to knock my confidence and make me want to look down when people are speaking to me cus sometimes it just feels like they are looking at the spots on your face and you can feel their looks piercing you!!!! I hate that feeling!!! I used to hate upper school and got bullied a fair bit because of my skin but I strolled on and hoped that it would fade away... by the time I was 18 It hadn't got any better so I started going to the doctors and over the next 4 years they pre-scribed me a plethora of anti-biotics and anti acne pills. Can't remember all the stuff I've had but the most recent was somthing like "Tetralycle/ Lymcycline".

After being on that for a year or so I was starting to get annoyed that my skin wasn't clearing up... all that tetralycle seemed to do was maybe contain it slightly but it definitley did not prevent new acne from forming. The doctors words were "Have you read up on Accutane - It can perform miracles on some peoples acne but then again it can turn some people psychotic". This some what scared me and I researched it more and the more I read the more concerned and nervous I've become about taking it but what the hell I'm going to give it a bash.

Took me about 4 months to see a dermatologist who gave me a brief run down of Accutane (nothing I didnt already know from browsing tinternet). This dermatologist lady is super hot though She's foreign and has such a cool accent... I actually can't wait for my next appointment haha. Anyway she didn't prescribe me it there and then... I had to come back in like another few months with blood test results.... It is a hell of a long wait and their way of making the wait sound nicer was "ahh you've had it for years whats another few months going to be".... this comment infuriates me... I've already had it for years so why should I have to wait another few months damn j0oo give me the pills now!!!! haha.

Ok so today was the day I had to go back and hand the blood test results in and they was all ok and she handed me the Accutane. I got to take 40MG for a month then go back to see her. Its going to be a nightmare getting the time off work cus my boss can be an ass at times and I'll probably end up having to use my holiday days for derm appointments .

In preparation for this escapade my sister had already purchased me 2 lots of "Blistex Intensive Moisturiser".... It's for lips as no doubt mine are soon going to be as dry as a bone. I dont know anything about moisurising products so I asked the dermatologist to reccomend some. She wrote me a list of 4 produts....

Day 1 - So Here We Are - 10th March 2009

On the way back from the derm I stopped off at Boots and purchased the following:

250G Liquid Paraffin 50% In White Soft Paraffin - £3.71
225G Vaseline Pure Petroleum Jelly - £1.91
500G Cetraben Emollient Cream - £9.30 (WTF PRICEY!!!)
500G Aqueous Cream BP - £3.91

Total £18.83.

This was all the items on her list... I dont know if she meant for me to buy all of them but what the heck. The Boots people seemed a little miffed that I was buying all this moisturising stuff haha. I didnt even have a Boots card so lost out on 60p in points!!! Bummer . I was also told that it would have been cheaper to get the Cetraben on prescription!!!! So remember that guys... might save a few quid!!! I have no idea how I'm going to use these products or what one to start using first so any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. So as well as the above the only other gear I've got for this mission is 2 packs of Blistex lip moisturiser... Hope I'm not missing anything :/.

I have taken 2 photos of my worstly affecting area.. which is my back:



Hopefully that is attached above? I did take 2 pictures but there is only enough space to upload 1 lolzzzz. Yeah so you can see my back is pretty nasty.

I'll try and upload pictures as the days go on to monitor if there is any improvement. I was told that drinking alcohol while on Accutane can greatly reduce the effect of the drug This really sux cus I do like a good session at the weekends =-D well either Friday or Saturday.... not both days ..... not that hard core lol.

Ok I'm going to go pop my first 2 20 MG pills... quite nervous....brb.

They went down a treat. Ok now I guess I sit and wait for the nose bleeds, outbreaks and dryness to kick in!!! I'll update soon.

Hope I get a few views lol.

Cheers.

Meeko.

[Emeny]

Good luck, Meeko! I will stop in to keep updated on your progress!

P.S. I just started 1 week ago at 60 MG per day, and the first week went fine for me, so don't get too worried.

[Meeko]

Good luck, Meeko! I will stop in to keep updated on your progress!

P.S. I just started 1 week ago at 60 MG per day, and the first week went fine for me, so don't get too worried.

Thanks Emeny . What moisturizing products have you been using??

[Emeny]

I use Aveeno Positively Radiant Daily Moisturizer with an SPF of 30 for my face, and Cetaphil Daily Advance Ultra Hydrating lotion for my body. Good brands to use are Eucerin, Cetaphil, CeraVe, and Aveeno. That is what I've gathered from my research so far as they are gentle yet effective. And so far, so good....

[Figjam]

Hey Meeko I've recently started on 40mg a day also. Bit further ahead than u though, day 13 today. So far so good really. I hope it goes well for you!

I feel the same about the time off work, slightly frustrating. But at least you don't have to remove your make up to go and then reapply it to come back to work!

Hey if you are still thinking about moisterisers I can recommend the Avene brand - I've found that very good.

[Meeko]

Hmmm Avene might have to give that a bash if these ones dont seem to do any good!!!

Day 2 - Sleepy - 11th March 2009

Feeling reallly sleepy today... I'm at work now at my desk and fighting to stay awake!!! Not sure if thats the Accutane or if I'm just genuinley tired!!! My skin feels really oily and bad at the minute... I havent even started using the moisturizer but carried on using my normal soap which normally dries my skin a little. I use this mint flavoured original source stuff .

I have noticed the fleshy part of skin inbetween my fingers has started to go a bit dry.... Think I should be a bit pro active and invest in some kind of moisturizing hand cream.... unless of course I can use my other products???? DOH does anyone know??!!

Not much else to report other than roll on 5pm so I can go home!!

[Emeny]

Accutane made me sleepy at first also, and I've oily for the past few days as well. Ready for dry skin!!!!

I would invest in a good hand/body cream. If you have some from before Accutane, try it and see if it works, but I wouldn't necessarily use your facial moisturizer for your hands if that's what you're asking. I mean, it won't hurt anything, but it might not be as effective as you might like. That said, I've never really tried it.

[Meeko]

Day 4 - Memory Loss - 13th March 2009

The skin on my face is looking relativley good this morning.... How it would look the morning after a heavy session on the sauce... its pretty dry although not overly flaking yet just a few dryish patches. I also notice my nose is starting to peel ever so slightly .

On a bad note I forgot to bring my Accutane to work with me today Nooooooo... I had previously brought 1 sleeve of pills in to work and just left them in my draw but I was supposed to bring a new sleeve in today as there is only 1 20MG pill left in the other one:(. Not sure what to do now.... like should I take this one pill now and another later when I get home? or just wait till I get home and take the proper dosage in one hit? I'm tempted to get a taxi home during lunch but that will clost me like £10 for a return jourey!!! .

[Emeny]

Haha....now I'm not sure I would personally call that memory loss just yet. For me, that is the normal routine.

However, I think however you decide to do it will be fine. I believe we all have a slightly different way of taking the pills, none of which are wrong. I'm supposed to take one pill twice daily, so I take one in the morning and one at night after meals. I know other people on the forum take them both at the same time, so I'm pretty sure neither way is necessarily incorrect. Whichever way works best for you today should be okay (that said, I am no dermatologist), and then you can resume your normal routine tomorrow.

[Meeko]

I think I'll wait till I get home... I wanted to take them early today though cus I should be going out later for a few beers!!!!!! So was hoping the Accutane would have dissolved into my body before I went out... If I take them later the alcohol will probably hit them before they have a chance to do anything!

You might not be a dermatologist Emeny but you got Accutane experience . That counts for more!!!!!!

[Meeko]

Day 6 - Breaking Out - 15th March 2009

Yesterday and today my skin has been breking out in whiteheads in all the normal places I would get spots... If I get rid of these ones they re-appear a few hours later!!! My skin has also been dry so its a bit of a nasty combination.... dry skin with spots cropping up. Got the whole montage cropping up like whiteheads and the big red ones. I'm absolutley dreading work tomorrow. Wish I could call in sick for the next 4 months!!! It's really not going to be fun.

When I read about outbreaks I really didnt think they would be this bad but this is probably worse than what my worse acne has looked like on my face!! Hopefully its just to do with the "It's got to get worse before it gets better" phrase.

[Emeny]

I sincerely hate the phrase "It gets worse before it gets better."

Hang in there, friend!

[Meeko]

Yeh I hate that phrase to lol... makes me want to hurt someone!!!

[Meeko]

Day 7 - First Week Over - 16th March 2009

Whooo hoo as glad as I am that the first week is over I can see that this is going to be quite hard to contend with.... The worst part being getting out breaks while at work and I can't stand seeing white heads.... they just have to go.... Everytime I get several come up I remove them but during this outbreak epinsode they just re-appear a few hours later.

On a side note I heard a new really cringey word today.... I quite enjoy finding out new words that just sound bizzare or a bit cringey... any way the new word is "babbage" lmao.....It was used in the following context...

Me and my cousin are going to have a poker game on Saturday and theres about 6 of us attending. I asked a mate from work if he fancied coming round to join in and have a few beers and some dirty takeaway food to which he replied

"Yeah I'll be up for that I'll order up some babbage and chips".

haha babbage what the hell is that... some kind of terminology for a kebab... made me chuckle anyway!

What does IB mean anyway guys? I've seen it in a few logs I thought it meant outbreaks but surely that would be OB??

[Figjam]

Hi Meeko! Sorry to hear the "IB" has been so crappy for you Its initial breakout - well I assume it is?!

Love babbage - i have heard very similar before - kebabage so that must just be a shorter version haha.

[Emeny]

IB most definitely means "initial breakout" which you are unfortunately experiencing. I can't believe the little buggers actually come back on you like that! I am being gross and not touching them, so I haven't experienced any reincarnation effects as of yet.

Babbage. That one's new to me. Why make a short word long? Funny all the same!

[Meeko]

Day 9 - Goodness Gracious Great Balls of Fire - 18th March 2009

The outbreaks have continued pretty heavily... although my skin doesn't feel oily or dry at the moment... feels kind of neutral... has been like this since my last update!

Outbreaks have consisted of waking up to around 5 - 6 whiteheads in a mixture of places where I have and have not previously had them.

Face has lots of red kind of lumpy spots (cysts or nodes/ great balls of fury?) and is pretty red and blotchy in places.... wish I could cover some of this up lol. MAKE UP TIPS PLOES??!!!! NOES just kidding.

On a side note the last 2 days I have been feeling really like awake or somthing... instead of down and dreary I have felt just like awake and "with it" or somthing.

I need to try and find a new house to rent by the weekend also otherwise I'll end up back at my mothers noooooooo. I currently live in a sharehouse but the landlords have different plans for the house so they are turfing everyone out. Got a viewing tonight... hope its a good one!

I heard another word that tickled me a little today.... "gubbins" haha.... WTF is gubbins I hear you say? It was used in the following phrase while I was at work....

A user came to our helpdesk and said their laptop was running really slow and that they had tried uninstalling loads of programs but no change in the speed. One of my work colleagues responded saying "ok leave it with me I might have to open her up and have a look at the gubbins".... rofl I think it must mean like internal parts or innards / inner mechanics.

[Figjam]

Day 9 - Goodness Gracious Great Balls of Fire - 18th March 2009

The outbreaks have continued pretty heavily... although my skin doesn't feel oily or dry at the moment... feels kind of neutral... has been like this since my last update!

Outbreaks have consisted of waking up to around 5 - 6 whiteheads in a mixture of places where I have and have not previously had them.

Face has lots of red kind of lumpy spots (cysts or nodes/ great balls of fury?) and is pretty red and blotchy in places.... wish I could cover some of this up lol. MAKE UP TIPS PLOES??!!!! NOES just kidding.

On a side note the last 2 days I have been feeling really like awake or somthing... instead of down and dreary I have felt just like awake and "with it" or somthing.

I need to try and find a new house to rent by the weekend also otherwise I'll end up back at my mothers noooooooo. I currently live in a sharehouse but the landlords have different plans for the house so they are turfing everyone out. Got a viewing tonight... hope its a good one!

I heard another word that tickled me a little today.... "gubbins" haha.... WTF is gubbins I hear you say? It was used in the following phrase while I was at work....

A user came to our helpdesk and said their laptop was running really slow and that they had tried uninstalling loads of programs but no change in the speed. One of my work colleagues responded saying "ok leave it with me I might have to open her up and have a look at the gubbins".... rofl I think it must mean like internal parts or innards / inner mechanics.

hahaha your posts crack me up...great balls of fire good luck with finding a place!

[Meeko]

Day 10 - Paranoia & Nose Bleeds - 19th March 2009

I started the day waking up to a plethora of new white heads mostly around my nose. Still have lots of nasty red lumpy kind of spots around my mouth & chin area. I had a hefty spot last night on the left part of my nose/ where the cheek and nose connect.... I had a good squeeze at that beast and this morning I woke up with my left eye bag being a bit puffy / swollen... not sure if that was from the squeezing or just a general side effect.

I continue with my normal reigeme... Washed my face with the old stuff I used before Accutane as I dont like the way some of the moisturising face stuff makes my skin feel. I used "Original Source"... a mint flavoured one that has Tea Tree extracts and stuff in it. It proper dries your skin and makes it feel smooth... although when the Accutane starts drying my skin more I'll stop using this and avert back to the tacky feeling moisturising stuff. Anyway after washing face I had a little nose bleed... nothing major, probably just from the dryness inside my nose. That was the end of the nosebleeds... havent had anymore today.

Work has sucked today... my face has been stinging a bit from all the spots and feels awful and looks just as terrible.... Just trying to keep out of everyones way and make as little contact with people as possible.... just want to have a few months off work untill I can feel comfortable with my skin again.

I've invested in some cod liver tablets to try and counter any joint pain I might get as it feels as If I've been getting some latley... really uncomfortable sitting at a desk at work... I usually sit like a kid with one leg curled up on the seat lol (very professional looking) but feel the need to keep changing positions cus my knee joints ache a little.

I'm paranoid that I didn't take the Accutane yesterday or that I've missed a day of taking pills.... I'm sure I haven't but it just feels like I have... I need to do a pill count when I get home lol.

The house viewing went ok last night.... although every house we have seen so far has always had a fault with one of the bedrooms... the first one we looked at a few days ago was really weird. It's hard to explain but if you went up the stairs and stopped just before you go to the top and turned left... there was one of the bedroom walls.... and it had a rectangle see through plastic peep hole in it... it was like a small window..... into someones bedroom lol... WHAT IS THE POINT IN THAT??? and if you're in the room you can also look out of it which would be freaky as hell... like imagine laying on the bed then waking up and looking at the peep hole only to see some random stranger peering in lol that would freak me the hell out!!! The place we saw yesterday one of the rooms was really nice... lots of space and storage and build in cupboards and such... then the other bedroom had a fricking boiler mounted onto the wall... what use is that... imagine the noiseeeeeee and not to mention just having a boiler above your head while trying to sleep... would be awful... this room also had like the airing cupboard and I was trying to big it up to my friend and be like "yehhhhhhh you should have this room man its alot better cus in the winter you can put your clothes in the airing cupboard or on the boiler to keep them warm" haha... dont think it worked though... I think If we got this place who ever got the boiler room would have to pay a bit less.

Have another viewing tonight... will have to see what that holds!!!

[Meeko]

Day 17 - Going Strong - 26th March 2009

Been a bit of a hectic week since I last posted. On day 11 which was a Friday my skin was pretty bad and I had a funeral to attend this day (one of my unlces) and no doubt a heavy drinking session was inevitable as my uncle used to love a good drink so we had to give him a proper send off!!! I had 2 pints of guiness at around 12 midday then we had to head for the church, at about 2pm we was back in the pub and didn't leave till 2am!!! Ended up spanking 100 quid on booze that day lol.... I was buying friends and family a fair few drinks though to be fair. Ended up on the vodka redbullocks... although I stuck to singles to attempt to cause less liver damage. This was the first time I had drank since being on Accutane so was a bit worried as to the effects I might experience.

2 fights broke out at the pub which was pretty dire.... both fights involved this 1 kid whos dad is a friend of our families and this kid....(lets call him a really lame name like.... I dunno....Quentin) cus his dad is like a well known person around our area and is seen as if he has lots of power and money or somthing it means that no matter what sh1t Quentin pulls he always ends up coming out smelling of roses.

The first fight Quentin was arguing with one of my friends... I have no clue what they was arguing about but then Quentin's dad and brother came out and tried to cool them both down and said to go in the pub and have a drink and chill out.... anyway at that moment Quentin just grabbed my friend by the neck and was rearing up.... and my friend ended up legging it down the road and Quentin and his family and like a bunch of other grown men and various other people who respect the guy started chasing after him rofl..... It turned into like a fricking witch hunt... it was diabolical!!! My friend ended up knocking one of their tooths out as well lol...serves him right for trying to get involved!!!

The 2nd fight Quentin was starting on this random guy and I was peeved off and shouted out "ahhh his fighting again... we should stat taking bets on this!!!!".... the guy he was starting on was one of these people that respected his dad cus of the whole money = power thing and what not so he didnt want to hurt Quentin... in fact he let Quentin beat him pretty good... his face was pretty bloody... anyway cus he didnt want to hit Qunetin he overheard my comment and like 10 minutes later when things had cooled down and the guy had been thrown out the pub I went out to speak to my cousin to see if he wanted a drink and this guy hit me with an uppercut lol I was literally just strolling over to my cousin saying like ahhh do you want another drink man and the guy uppercuts me from out of no where rearing up saying like OH YEH WHAT WAS U SAYING BLA BLA BLA .... I don't really know how to fight so I just left it but I'm sure any other person would have fought him back right then.... He caught my on the cheek and left a graze and my glasses went flying off my face lol.

Woah this is probably sounding well confusing and boring and long winded.... damn.... I need to start making these logs shorter.

Anyway the following morning my skin was as clean as a whistle which is usually the case when I go out binge drinking... for some bizarre reason my skin is always clear the next day after a heavy session. I woke up at 10am and felt fine but then an hour or so later I go a really headache and this lasted all day until about 8pm... I ended up just staying in bed drifting in and out of sleep all day to see if it had gone.

The following few days I had no new breakouts and my skin was starting to get dry and I had to actually start using the moisturiser properly. I started washing with the Aqueous cream then applying the Cetraben stuff after as a moisturiser. I've also been hammering the Blistex stuff. My skin has been looking fairly good lately and I have been happy with it. Not sure about my back... I'll try get some new pictures taken soon so we can compare!

Possibily going out tomorrow for another drinking session :/... Need to try and take it easy. Also still looking for a new house I've ended up moving back into my mums in the mean time. Need to try and pass my driving test also!!! I had a driving lesson today and it went pretty awesome... I absolutley hate driving and I suck at it... I must have had like 150 hours worth of lessons which is utter sickening as like the national average is probably only about 45 lol. I've failed 1 practical test.. passed my theory first time and planning to book another test as soon as I get paid.... Only thing I'm scared about is wasting a £100 if I fail the test... the prices are horrific.

Whooooo I'm just glad those outbreaks have stopped... I hope they dont come back anytime soon.