100 replies to this topic

[ciaobella]

DAY 22!

wow, haven't been on here in a while!
i logged in to check my new messages and totally forgot to update this, haha
so anyways.

week 3 was sooo horrible!
cysts are still growing (but only on my forehead, thank goodness for BANGS!) and getting super huge and painful!
and my skin is being so weird: there's like this shiny-ish layer of skin on top of everything that is completely dry (???) and flakes in random places, but if i try pulling pieces of it off with tweezers it rips the skin underneath it away too and leaves a huuuuge red mark!
what is this and how do i get rid of it?
it makes putting on makeup impossible because my skin is so uneven haha
i tried lightly scrubbing it at first but that didn't do anything so i tried the sugar and honey scrub and that didn't help either!

i haven't used any topicals...only moisturizer each day
my lips healed up pretty nicely but then i forgot my aquaphor at home one day and now they're scabby and gross again haha
my face is definitely not the same color as my neck...it's soooo redddd!!!! hahaha

my caribbean gold wild thing tanner came today and OH MY GOD it works sooo well! it's tingly and i put some on after school and just took a shower and the color stayed on! it's kinda weird though, i'm gonna be tan the 2nd day back from spring break but i wasn't the 1st
school is a pain, 2 pop tests today because apparently we were assigned physics reading over break (???) and had this stupid hardass test which sucked

i've been drinking a lot of water and green tea
i want my ana-days body back!!!
i know it's not good to restrict your diet on accutane but honestly i haven't been eating a lot these past few days...i did 2468 and then binged on 4 slices of Oberweis ice cream cake (120g fat...yesssss) which was incredibly stupid but somewhat worth it
and yesterday i had: breakfast-banana, pill; lunch-3 apples; dinner-half cup of angel hair pasta with fat free italian dressing, pill
and then ran 4 miles afterwards (back pain oh my goodness)
my friend is doing ABC and she wants me to join her but i don't think i can, it's sooo hard!
maybe i should just wear sweats to school each day so i don't have to worry about my tummy flabbyness heehee.
but i went to Hollister the other day to get new jeans and i don't fit into size 3s anymore!! it was sooo tight on my butt...and i don't even have a niiiice ghetto bootayy the sizes there are pretty bunk-- at Gilly Hicks (smells amazing in there!) i had huge issues with sizes too!

Kaelyn: yep that's whats keeping me going! i want clear skin soooo bad!
i'm looking into Northwestern's med school or Columbia (NEWYORK! NEWYORK!) or UChicago
heehee allll crumping is art, and art is beautiful i bet i look silly but it's so fun! and i bet you have some kiiiilller moves just dying to get out!
chicago girls <3

JuStChIlLiN: lol i should! i should do a v-log and just crump eeevery time hahaha.
mean girls is sooo funny! back when lindsay lohan was a nice little girl lol.
i'm gonna look into that cleanser--thanks!

accutane makes my arms really itchy. haha. i'm scratching likeaFREAK right now!

[*MEaGAiN*]

hey there girlie goodluck im on day 34...i believe. so im like 12 days ahead of u. im experiencing a fun deleayed IB right now....i think since im on 40 mg it just took longer to come out...idk but its pissing me off haha. ANYway ur so lucky ur aunt owns a sephora im super jeaalous. makeup=life....seriously i would hide in my closet if i didnt have makeup to cover up my nasty acne. Oh yea my arms have been really itchy lately too...and i have two really small rash types things...which are fun. Anyway...im a swimmer too! and an eater haha i love food. When ts swim season its ok cause im burning like 3,000 calories a day...but when its not...haha well I love love chocolate, just got to take advantage of our fast young metabolisms while we still have them lol. ANYway goodluck and ill be checkin in

[Polska Laska]

HAhah! Bella! Those anti cyst vibes made my cyst come to a head the day I read it! BUT - I have like 3 more cysts (2 forehead, 1 chin) that came in its place.

PLEASE SEND MORE ANTI CYST VIBES!! 3 OF THEM!

OOO - my boyfriend showed my crumping videos when we first started dating... doesn't crumping make you feel all crazy when you do it. Crazy in a FUN way!!

Anyways, I'm gonna go to bed! So tired!

Ciao Bella!!!

[kaelynGrace]

i've been drinking a lot of water and green tea
i want my ana-days body back!!!
i know it's not good to restrict your diet on accutane but honestly i haven't been eating a lot these past few days...i did 2468 and then binged on 4 slices of Oberweis ice cream cake (120g fat...yesssss) which was incredibly stupid but somewhat worth it
and yesterday i had: breakfast-banana, pill; lunch-3 apples; dinner-half cup of angel hair pasta with fat free italian dressing, pill
and then ran 4 miles afterwards (back pain oh my goodness)
my friend is doing ABC and she wants me to join her but i don't think i can, it's sooo hard!
maybe i should just wear sweats to school each day so i don't have to worry about my tummy flabbyness heehee.
but i went to Hollister the other day to get new jeans and i don't fit into size 3s anymore!! it was sooo tight on my butt...and i don't even have a niiiice ghetto bootayy the sizes there are pretty bunk-- at Gilly Hicks (smells amazing in there!) i had huge issues with sizes too!

Aw that reminded me of all those days i read the pro-ana livejorunal. Aye.
You're beautiful just the way you are. <3

And Smarty Pants on those colleges!!

[laurasj]

hey everybody!

my name's bella and i'm 16 years old, 5'8.5", and 120 pounds!
i've had normal acne from 11-14 years old but for the past two years my acne's gotten really angry and it has been sprouting everywhere! like even on my cheeks....where i've never gotten acne before. and it's not normal anymore...it's nasty and cystic and lumpy and painful!
i've tried proactiv, clean and clear, murad, and philosophy anti-acne products but those just don't work on me!
chicago weather is too pms-y and unconstant (it was 65 degrees 2 weeks ago...now there's a few inches of snow!) so i'll have like a huge zit and then it'll get cold and my skin will get so dry but yet i'll continue to break out?? and then the zit will crack in half or something and turn brown and sickk. and i live in the city so there's a lot of pollution and garbage and crap floating in the air...eww. i had to get my bangs cut kind of poofy because over break i had a huge dermatitis-like thing where a gazillion zits grew on top of each other all over my forehead and hurt so bad whenever i sneezed one would like pop...gross right??

i'm on the school swim team and since i swam the beginning of the year my acne wasn't AS bad, but now that swimming is over it's been totally erupting and gross and killing my self confidence. as if it wasn't already bad before, haha. i'm the type of girl who HAS to wear some sort of concealer or powder foundation over my scars and powdered sulfur on top of my pimples to cover them (no caking it on! unless i'm doing a photoshoot or something. models have to be pretty but no modeling this year, too many zits aghhh!) so in the mornings i have to get up pretty early so my face doesn't look so angry and red and lumpy! and so i don't scare away the kiddies at school lol.

good thing my aunt owns a sephora store bareminerals makeup = the BEST! and she teaches me how to put it on the "right" way so i don't look like a cake face lol. but by the end of the day it usually wears off so i get really self conscious around the kids in my last few classes because when they look at me i always think they're staring at all my little brown spots and pimples and zits and my blackhead-infested nose (well not really infested. i just think it is and maybe i think i have more acne than i really do but i don't know how to change that! it's like a psychological thing right?)

but acne really has ruined my life...high school is supposed to be fun! but i can't really be myself if i look like a pizza face...hopefully this journey will bolster my confidence too
i've heard that people are usually mostly clear in a month or two...just in time for prom!
there's this guy that i really really really like (let's just call him Cute Boy so i can refer to him in later posts lol) but i've kind of been scared to talk to him a lot...sometimes i can't look him in the eye because then i just get so self conscious and think he's staring at my acne and then i get really nervous and screw up the conversation because of my newfound acne-awkwardness
BUT we're sort of good friends now and maybe if my skin clears up i can change that! haha. frickin acne! i was going to ask him to our school's sadie hawkins-type dance that was on saturday, valentine's day but i was sooo worried that i'd look weird and gross-faced and he'd be disgusted and compared to all the other girls at my school (note: chicago city semi-private school = rich kids who have coach prada chanel gucci purses and really nice cars and perfect perfect skin and hair and bodies) i'd be the ugliest so i didn't ask him i mean, i can handle it but sometimes i'm just not that strong...and i really want this to work out!

so anyways my blood test is at 5:30 AM tomorrow! it had to be scheduled really early because my parents don't approve of me missing out on school...ehh. junior year = waste of time! too many AP classes and not enough time for parties that means i'll have to get up at like...4:30 which is nasty, even worse than when i had morning practices at 5:00 for swimming haha. it'll be a pain doing makeup when i'm half asleep...

i'm really nervous to go...they said i have to fast for 12 hours and i hate fasting....
me + food = <3
seriously. i'll be doing my homework and suddenly a costco size bag of cheerios will appear on my desk and it'll be gone within a few hours!
i've been trying to cut back on potential acne-causing foods (milk, chocolate, spring rolls, pizza, tacos, ice cream...all the stuff that gives my mom acne basically) but it's sooo hard.
especially chocolate.
and milk.
and how they have freaking towers of chocolate milk in the school lunch line! two of my worst enemies combined into one! and soooo good! just like fried snickers. ohmigod. those are amazing! anyways.

so knowing that, i'll probably pass out because i'll be sooo hungry! and because the whole needles part. i mean, it isn't really scary until they baby you and are like..."honey do you need your parent to be here? are you all right?" because then that just makes me scared even if i wasn't scared before!
any tips to get through blood testing easily? haha.

i'll be taking my first pill this thursday! the dosage depends on my blood test but my derma said i'd be taking it for sure (she took it when it first came out and she is like 60 and her skin is sooo smooth and beautiful kind of like a little doll and she pities me so much haha)

so my current routine is as follows (yes everything is from a sephora store! <3 well except proactiv. that crap is killer. i just like their sulfur mask haha)
AM:
philosophy purity facial wash
philosophy when hope is not enough serum
clinique moisture surge gel
philosophy hope in a jar
philosophy the present (makeup primer)
bare escentuals concealer/foundation/veil
spray whole face with evian mist to set makeup

AFTER SCHOOL:
cold cream face wash
clinique moisture surge gel (as a mask until shower)
proactiv refining mask (as spot treatment mask until shower)

PM:
philosophy purity facial wash
estee lauder advance night repair serum
l'occitane immortelle precious creme
philosophy high density eye/lip cream

OTHER:
rosebud salve for lips and elbows

pretty hardcore list right? it's gonna change a little if i start getting really dry...i've heard aquaphor is a blessing

so yeah! that's me! if anyone has any tips i will love you forever!

xoxo bella
wow i really didn't realize this was so long. haha.

aha! another fellow swimmer.
i dive as well, & also found my skin was better in swim seaon.
... living in FL, that's pretty much year-round.

i would have to say that with all the chlorine in our pool, carmex lip balm saves me.
last friday, the pool was shocked, & it was torture!

i'd definitely look into carmex it's pretty inexpensive too.

[JuStChIlLiN:)]

Yeah I experienced itchiness at the beginning but it'll go away.

[Polska Laska]

aha! another fellow swimmer.
i dive as well, & also found my skin was better in swim seaon.
... living in FL, that's pretty much year-round.

i would have to say that with all the chlorine in our pool, carmex lip balm saves me.
last friday, the pool was shocked, & it was torture!

i'd definitely look into carmex it's pretty inexpensive too.

I'm also a swimmer (definately not professionally but I LOVE swimming!) and I find that my skin is

a) dryer
b) CLEARER

when I swim. I wonder if its the magical chlorine in the water killing all the nasty bacteria on our skin? Hmmm... !

Yeah I experienced itchiness at the beginning but it'll go away.

Hey JuStChIlLin - I'm also from Calgary! I moved from Edmonton 2 years ago. Weirrrddddd running into someone from the same city on an acne forum. Do you go to school here?

[ciaobella]

hey there girlie goodluck im on day 34...i believe. so im like 12 days ahead of u. im experiencing a fun deleayed IB right now....i think since im on 40 mg it just took longer to come out...idk but its pissing me off haha. ANYway ur so lucky ur aunt owns a sephora im super jeaalous. makeup=life....seriously i would hide in my closet if i didnt have makeup to cover up my nasty acne. Oh yea my arms have been really itchy lately too...and i have two really small rash types things...which are fun. Anyway...im a swimmer too! and an eater haha i love food. When ts swim season its ok cause im burning like 3,000 calories a day...but when its not...haha well I love love chocolate, just got to take advantage of our fast young metabolisms while we still have them lol. ANYway goodluck and ill be checkin in

hey there! thanks for your support
ooooh yes, makeup is amazinggg
by the end of this we won't need to cover anything up! exciting!!
and yayy swimmers, we're kinda a big deal (!!!) hahahaa. i eat like craaazy during season! and get into that habit, and when i'm off i gain weight really easily
thanksss!

HAhah! Bella! Those anti cyst vibes made my cyst come to a head the day I read it! BUT - I have like 3 more cysts (2 forehead, 1 chin) that came in its place.

PLEASE SEND MORE ANTI CYST VIBES!! 3 OF THEM!

OOO - my boyfriend showed my crumping videos when we first started dating... doesn't crumping make you feel all crazy when you do it. Crazy in a FUN way!!

Anyways, I'm gonna go to bed! So tired!

Ciao Bella!!!

heyyy, you!
i'll keep them coming!! I'LL BANISH THOSE CYSTS FROM YOUR INNOCENT FACE!!
shaazaaaammmm!! vibevibevibevibevibe
yeahh! crumping kinda puts you on this highhhh
soo stress relieving!

Aw that reminded me of all those days i read the pro-ana livejorunal. Aye.
You're beautiful just the way you are. <3

And Smarty Pants on those colleges!!

aww you are so sweet
i still read those heehee sometimes just for fun and sometimes because i need to lol
hopefully i can get into those schools! *crosses fingers*

aha! another fellow swimmer.
i dive as well, & also found my skin was better in swim seaon.
... living in FL, that's pretty much year-round.

i would have to say that with all the chlorine in our pool, carmex lip balm saves me.
last friday, the pool was shocked, & it was torture!

i'd definitely look into carmex it's pretty inexpensive too.

wooohooo swimming! <3 <3 <3
dangg, you're lucky! like half my school went to your state for spring break lol (chicago s.b.=snow darkness storms lakemichigan, florida=AMAZINGWEATHER! beaches tanning!)
do you do polo too??

Yeah I experienced itchiness at the beginning but it'll go away.

whewww good! i'm getting scabs from scratching which might become scars on my arms and legs eeeeek haha

[ciaobella]

DAY 26!

woww i'm really bad at updating this hahaha
blood test at 6:30 AM tomorrow...on a saturday...in the morning...bleh!
skipped dinner tonight, that didn't really bother me that much cause i drank about a case of water heehee more water=less chapped lips!

so the super cysts that have been bugging me for a while? GONE!!!

there's still some swelled up fleshy stuff left there but it's not inflamed and really not that noticeable!
i haven't grown any new cysts since the last time i posted so yayyy
maybe the IB is over!!
the blackheads are still there and i've noticed that when i squeeze them this super long string of stuff oozes out eww!
i'm still a liiiittle red, and flakey on my nose and forehead, but that can be easily fixed
yay! good way to (almost) end off the first month!
i've heard the 2nd month is a healing month?
hopefully! these cyst scars'll take some time to heal!
and all the FREAKING PAPERCUTS AND RANDOM SCABS ON MY HANDS!!!
and the weird rash i grew, eww
back pain has been really bad this week as well as ass cheek pain (idk??) and love handle pain (idkidkidk) and neck soreness though...but whatevs

oh and SOMEONE SAID MY SKIN LOOKED CLEAR TODAY!!!
WOAH!! THAT HAS NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE!
i was sooo happy i nearly cried lol
yayyyy!
goodnight acne.org!

[kaelynGrace]

I hope your blood test goes well! And I hope that your IB is officially OVER!

And yay for having almost one month under our belts!! woot woot!

[Polska Laska]

Yay Bella! I hope your IB is over! I don't wanna jinx it so I knocked on wood. ! Good luck with your blood test tomorrow morning... So early! My cysts are in the same status, that weird fleshy left over lump but not imflamed kinda thing... THANKYOU for the anticyst vibes!!! Anyways, let us know how your derm appt goes tomorrow! Have a good weekend! =)

[BallroomDancingQueen]

stay away from:
-cigarettes (big tribute to acne problems for many people it clogs pores and is bad with birth control)
-soft drinks dehydrate you and on accutane you need to be super hydrated!
-greasy foods create worse acne

following help a lot:
-WATERRRRRR :]
-when you get out of the shower pat your skin dry and apply baby oil to your skin and lips then pat extra oil off, this will help the dry skin exxxxxtremely well
-cerave lotion is really moisturizing and isn't sticky or smelly
-l'oreal professional intense repair shampoo and conditioner its super super moisturizing its found in most salons
-don't shampoo your hair more then 2-3 times a week because your hair becomes extremely dry and will possibly fall out use cold water to keep hair strong and leave about a penny size amount in the hair and do not rinse it out! lol it helps trusttttt me

I'm new to accutane and this website, and these things to stay away from are going to help me a lot I think, I'm kind of afraid of how my skin's going to react, but I'm hoping the pros are going to outweight the cons. These tips should help me get ahead of any not so great side effects, thanks

[ciaobella]

I hope your blood test goes well! And I hope that your IB is officially OVER!

And yay for having almost one month under our belts!! woot woot!

thank you! i stared at a little blue spot on the curtain of the little room thingy and didn't even realize she finished until she was like...young lady, you can leave now! i was like...what?? aren't you gonna take my blood? and she told me to go lie down and eat some sugar hahaha
yepp yay almost 1 month! both of our skins have improved, yayyy!!

Yay Bella! I hope your IB is over! I don't wanna jinx it so I knocked on wood. ! Good luck with your blood test tomorrow morning... So early! My cysts are in the same status, that weird fleshy left over lump but not imflamed kinda thing... THANKYOU for the anticyst vibes!!! Anyways, let us know how your derm appt goes tomorrow! Have a good weekend! =)

i hope it is too! i have one active right now and it's just a little pimple heehee
the weird lump thing above my eyebrow isn't going down though, all the other ones have left but there's one still there...how weird! it's like hard on the inside (???) so idk what i'm gonna do about that lol. hope your weekend was great!

I'm new to accutane and this website, and these things to stay away from are going to help me a lot I think, I'm kind of afraid of how my skin's going to react, but I'm hoping the pros are going to outweight the cons. These tips should help me get ahead of any not so great side effects, thanks

hey there! hope accutane works for you, if you have any questions there's a looooot of people here that can give you honest answers! good luck!

[ciaobella]

DAY 28!

guess what...i only have one pimple right now! yay! yay! yay! yay x 10^100 (ap calc test tomorrow, gross! and ap chem test too, what is up with teachers giving tests on mondays? eww!)
it's a baby one and on my cheekbone and will probably be gone by tomorrow haha.
i <3 my face!
all that's left to kill are those scars, silly silly scars! and leftover flesh lumps from cysts lol. in the meantime, i will be putting on wayyyy less makeup

my period is gonna start soon though, and i'm wondering if i'll break out because of that since i usually do!
my hand rash has gotten really cracked and flakey (this girl called it hand herpes today...hmm) so i'll be buddying it up with my aquaphor more often!

i have sooo much stuff to do this week, good thing we get friday off! and monday too...4 DAY WEEKEND SAYY WHATTT???? WOOOOO!
i'm wishing and wishing that my skin will heal up soon! maybe i'll have clear skin by my birthday next month....

till tomorrow guys!
xoxo

[CoreyDB]

Hey Ciao! Show your derm your rash on your hands. I was prescribed a cream for it and it went away within a couple days and hasn't come back! Good luck with everything!

[Polska Laska]

Yay Bella SO happy for youuuuu!!! Oooh baby only one active! I hate those little fleshy leftovers! It's like.. be gone already! I always wonder if it's scar tissue or more left over infection? YEAYYYY long weekend! I love short weeks! My Mom will probably fill an easter basket for my 26 year old brother and I... that's how she rolls! Well I'm gonna head to bed! Have a an awesome week (minus those 2 tests tomorrow - mondaytestsWTF?!)

Byyeee!

[ciaobella]

Hey Ciao! Show your derm your rash on your hands. I was prescribed a cream for it and it went away within a couple days and hasn't come back! Good luck with everything!

heyy! i did, and she gave me some desoximetasone cream which i hope works!
people were looking at it weird all of today so i pretended i was allergic to walnuts and had some so i was getting an allergic reaction

Yay Bella SO happy for youuuuu!!! Oooh baby only one active! I hate those little fleshy leftovers! It's like.. be gone already! I always wonder if it's scar tissue or more left over infection? YEAYYYY long weekend! I love short weeks! My Mom will probably fill an easter basket for my 26 year old brother and I... that's how she rolls! Well I'm gonna head to bed! Have a an awesome week (minus those 2 tests tomorrow - mondaytestsWTF?!)

Byyeee!

hey there! yeah i never know what those lumps are! they take soooo long to fade, haha. aww your mom is so cute, i wish my mom would do that! i've never gotten one before! heehee.
i was getting these patches of small hormonal bumps but then i showered and *gently* exfoliated and now they're all gone!
thanks for all your support!! i took a peek at your log and dang,you're soooooo gorgeous!!

[ciaobella]

DAY 30!

first month DONE!!!
got my new boxes of pills from the local Walgreens today without trouble...how nouvelle!
so my skin has definitely made improvements since the pre-accutane days!
the 1 pimple on my face is fighting to stay but it'll be gone by the end of the week!
lumpy scars are still there
period-acne is basically nonexistant yayyy! my skin is a little bumpy but no more cysts like usual! woohooo!

the only problems i've had are really just superfreakingdry lips (i once got asked if it was because i gave too many blowjobs....wowwwww) and this rash that just started!
scarring is the same as before, i haven't really noticed it taking longer to heal
and the fish oil pills are saving my back!
my body skin isn't really dry and neither is my hair, which is probably a good thing! (excessive use of Chi=damage!damage!damage!)

so month one, complete!
it can only get better from here!
16 periods of class left until the weekend!!

[kristenm09]

hellllo

just dropping by to wish you the best and clear skin! was reading your log and saw you wear bare minerals. sooooo do i, i freakin love that stuff not sure what i'd do without it. my bare minerals container is like my little buddy now lol i sound like such a lame asss haha anywhooo, i hope you keep seeing improvements with your skin!

[b5a4]

DAY 30!

first month DONE!!!
got my new boxes of pills from the local Walgreens today without trouble...how nouvelle!
so my skin has definitely made improvements since the pre-accutane days!
the 1 pimple on my face is fighting to stay but it'll be gone by the end of the week!
lumpy scars are still there
period-acne is basically nonexistant yayyy! my skin is a little bumpy but no more cysts like usual! woohooo!

the only problems i've had are really just superfreakingdry lips (i once got asked if it was because i gave too many blowjobs....wowwwww) and this rash that just started!
scarring is the same as before, i haven't really noticed it taking longer to heal
and the fish oil pills are saving my back!
my body skin isn't really dry and neither is my hair, which is probably a good thing! (excessive use of Chi=damage!damage!damage!)

so month one, complete!
it can only get better from here!
16 periods of class left until the weekend!!

Yay for month one being done! Glad to hear your IB is over with and your face is looking better. Cant wait to see your progress.
lol next time someone asks that you should make up a story to mess with them
Fish oils are awesomee