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[endurance]

Today is the 1st time i take accutane with 20mg. Im a 19 year old male with mild to severe acne for 6 years. Sum say its a normal cycle during adolescents period, sum say its a symbol for good health, n i think it is bullshit for sum ppl to hav the 2nd thought. In real life, i rarely reveal any emotion on my acne, but actually i do care about it very much! Questions about my acne i still remembered vividly till now from my relatives and frens, sum show their cares and sum juz making a joke.

Many types of medicine have been tried on me but just dun work, sum times it feels like it has gone from ur system, but it would juz be back to square 1. Maybe for many people, facing yourself in front on the mirror, looking at ur face is a daily routine, but for me, the mirror i dare to face by myself would be the mirror in my home, i dun dare to face it other than that for these years.

I got acne since form 2 in secondary school, from the nose as the beginning and than inflamed to other area. Living in Malaysia, a tropical country, wit high and humid temperature is the worst environment for controlling acne. Sum frens consider me as an otaku due to my homesick behavior and attitude. Its hard to choose a day out, u juz need tremendous effort and guts to hav an outing with them. I rarely chat with those gals face to face especially for those i hav feeling with. Juz dun dare to talk with them naturally. I have missed many chances and opportunities from it.

I met a gal that we are in the same course but different group, i got to know her from internet and we would have a very comfortable and long chat every time on msn. In real life, im still the same coward lik last time. 21th November 2008 is the saddest yet meaningful day for me, i met her on library and it was the 1st time i said hi to her and then she juz holding all those books sitting down alone. It may be the best chance for me to have a little talk with her, yet i juz turn around and leave the library because i really care on how i look under the strong light of library.

Recently, i heard about the usage of accutane and sum say it is good on "curing" acne, although it may have certain side effect such as occurrence of severe acne from the beginning, i do care about that. Im taking this medicine from today but i will skip it for once in 2 days because i am having exam for these few days. On the contrary, i also feel that it might be good to let ur own body getting well with the accutane slowly for the 1st week. And nex 3 weeks i am having training as a QS in a firm, so i guess it might be the most suitable period for me having it.

For her, i decide to change myself, i don't want to sit there and wait. Im planning to ask the girl out after i see difference on my own self. I really wish i would have a girl friend for this year. I juz dying to experience it!

I will be posting it maybe once a week or randomly on my progress and me feelings. Sum say can heal ur mind mentally by blogging out ur feelings and i agree with that, it really does boost me up! ^^ ( sry for grammar mistake )

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