33 replies to this topic

[everythingBUTnothing]

Hi all,
I have been a reader of the posts here for over a year and have also posted some stuff here. I was and do suffer from pretty bad scarring from cystic acne caused over six years from my late teens.

I did all i could to get rid of my scars peels, needling, smoothbeam and finally even collagen implants. After trying these treatments for over a year my scars improved 20%. Finally at my last visit to my derm( who is one of the best derms in australia) I realized that there wasnt much I could actually do about it. The derm told me that I should now just try and live my life and forget about treatements and accept reality.

His words at first broke my heart and all my dreams that I had of having a normal life. But then it slowly sank into me that for the past 6 years I had been so involved in getting rid of my scars I never saw myself and never lived my life, nor did i see the good that hapened to me, just the negative.

Then out of the blue I had this feeling that I finally could stop living in my dream world and just live my life. I know this may sound a bit wierd but it actually gave me a little satisfaction that I didnt have to live in hope everyday that one day I could be normal and that I could just face life as I am.

I just wanted to share this with the thousands of readers because i know what each one of us go through everyday and how low and lonely we become. Its a shame what a little pimple did to our lives and what we all become after years and years of suffering. I have promised myself that I am going to try and move on from this phase of my life and try and find happiness and love.

Maybe i will, maybe i wont, but all i can say is that I am living the best years of my life and I dont wanna be unhappy anymore. I am atleast going to give it a try and come out of the shell i have made myself live in.

Hopefully one day when we are old and wise we all can say to ourselves we tried our best to make our lives better, but if we couldnt we accepted reality and moved on.

Life is tough, but i guess its upto us to make the best of whatever we have.

I wish everyone the best of luck in whichever way they are tryng to help themselves live a better life.

[bern]

Hi,

Sorry to hear you've felt like this. Which derm are you referring to? As I'm from Australia I'd like to know

I really don't think he's one of the 'best' derms in Australia if he thinks there's nothing you can do about your scars. From reading this forum you'd have to say that Maya would be the 'best derm in the world,' she knows so much about scar revision it's amazing, keep up to date with this forum as the techniques described here seem to be so very promising.

When it comes to scar revision a lot of derms are clueless and just try to sell you the most expensive treatment that will not work for your type of scarring. This is especially true in Australia, people have no idea here.

Have you tried TCA Cross? People are having such awesome success with it. There is a clinic in Sydney that another member on this forum is going to go to to get it done apparently. From what I have read TCA Cross looks to be the BEST treatment out there as far as results go. If you're brave enough you can do it on yourself! I can't wait to try it.

I'm glad you are trying to live your life to the fullest, you only live once, make the most of it.

Good luck in the future.

bernie

[Rupert]

everything but nothing,

I have every sympathy for you as a lot of your views are the same as mine.

It seems to me as if the forum here tends to be made up of two types of individuals

1) A few who have bad scarring where it does considerably disfigure the face, like you, like me. We desperately want to reduce how horrible our scarring looks.

2) Those with really very minimal scarring. They desperately want to have no scarring at all.

I think both categories should try treatment but brace themselves for if their improvement really isn't anywhere near what they had hoped for.

I would be reluctant to try any no going back filler like aquamid because something much better may be round the corner - who knows.

I do feel very sorry for people on the forum who put in so much effort to their scarring, not to mention the downtime and missed opportunities, only to get little improvement in return.

But you are right, you have one life and you'll never change whats been and gone.

[nativetexan23]

I think it's very admirable that you're trying to find peace with yourself. However, I agree with Bern, you should look into TCA 100% I've read that whole thread several times and I'm amazed at the results people claim to have had. And looking at before and after photos. I think that it could really help you.

[laina]

It's a strange situation to be in, when one is trying to correct/improve acne scarring.

Because on the one hand, the one essential thing that would promote happiness is self-acceptance — learning to live with your scars and to be comfortable with who you are. As everythingbutnothing says, it's liberating in a way to decide to 'give up the fight' — to stop being a slave to your skin and constantly striving for something that forever seems to remain just out of reach.

But ... on the other hand, as Bern says, there are new techniques (like TCA cross) coming up all the time, and many are actually having successes where once there seemed little hope. Yet to keep trying such things means one must, to some degree, remain a slave to the 'cause'. Must in some way keep striving.

I'm one of those who has noticeable, yet others would say not disfiguring, scarring. To me my face looks awful — every pore, every indent is magnified tenfold because I simply cannot accept this face I now have. I know that if I were to stop stressing and hating myself for looking this way I would have a much happier life — my scars probably wouldn't even appear so noticeable to others if I would allow myself to be the person I used to be before the scarring. Someone who was happy, outgoing, confident — someone who others considered attractive.

Thing is, I no longer feel attractive. I hate the way I look with such a passion that it tears me up inside, but I also realize that it's stupid to feel this way, that I am the one who is ruining my own life by allowing this self-perception to stop me from being who I want to be.

I know there are some out there with severely disfiguring scarring. I sympathize from the heart, I genuinely do. I wish there were some way of getting rid of this curse that makes so many people live their lives in such pain and torment, wasting their other natural gifts because they have such low confidence and self-esteem that it stops them from enjoying the many good things they do have to offer.

I can see both sides here. On the one hand, give up the fight and allow yourself to be happy by accepting who you are. On the other, if there are treatments out there that could work, then why not keep trying, because there might be something that really does work, and could further promote one's happiness.

[Anna]

everythingBUTnothing,

Your post really made me think.

While I do believe that many people can derive great improvement from treatments which are available, I also think these treatments are hit and miss in that what works wonderfully for one will impart minimal improvement for another.

At the beginning of this year I made a resolution to be less absorbed by this issue. I rarely look in the mirror anymore, but I do continue to research developments in scar research diligently.

I can't give up completely when I know that companies like Renovo hold out promise for scar free healing within the next few years. I research other avenues such as those for limb regeneration and stem cell treatment. However, I balance it out with the common understanding that these treatments, if and when they become available, might be at a point in my life where they grant me a highly diminished rate of return. By this I mean I will be so old that the treatment of scarring might be a minimal issue.

I have to say I think it is healthy to step back when the quest is so exhausting and frustrating! Take a break.

I wish you peace, happiness, self-love, and acceptance, with a good measure of hope!

My best!
Anna

[Healtysceptic]

Your thoughts are smart ones and heart felt. It takes courage and an ability to try to look at life and reality differently than you have before. A person afflicted needs to learn how to actually think differently. The obsession we adopt with our image, how people view us, is crippling. It stunts our growth and robs us from enjoying the fruits of life and it's deeper meanings. How can we grow as beings if we are always bogged down with one thought: How do our scars look today?

There will be treatments that will come along , sooner than later, that will have the ability to revise acne scarring much better than the ones currently available. Though my scarring is minimal compared with others I have had luck with a new treatment. The TCA Cross method. But no treatment will diminish 100%.

It is easy to say ' Just get on with your life". It is also probably one of the hardest things to do. But if that one hurdle can be permanently jumped and you no longer have the fear of of your reflection in the mirror, you will be free. But it take balls, a bit of anger ( not focused on others), a realization of the absurdity of life and a new improved mind-set. But it is attainable.
James

[Ian]

EverythingorNothing,

I myself am a person with no scaring and a pimple here and there. About a year ago an obsession started, getting rid of every imperfection on my body (especially my face). The obsession grew into a depression. Now I am seeing a shrink who tells me that the problem lies in my childhood.

Why am I telling you all this? I am learning to accept yourself for who you are, and thereby start living your life. I know it’s easier said then done and hearing it from me (with no real acne problem) doesn’t really make you feel better. But I do know friends (close ones), who have acne and still enjoy live. What I am trying to say is, in my very bad English grammar, you’re so right and everybody should be less obsessed. Sure if you have a problem, do something about it but dont let it rule your life. Remember that 80% of all people have acne (mild to really bad). I know that I personally dont judge people on there appearance but on they’re character.

Life is short and GOD didn’t give you acne on purpose. Deal with it see the positive things like not being bold or nice hands or.. well there are probably a lot of things that other people see you have and wish they had that.

I really hope all of you find a solution whereby its effect is an enjoyable life, good luck to you all.

Ian Smith

[Maya]

everythingBUTnothing

Good luck with whichever route you take. Most of all, I wish you happiness.

In the last 15 months I have had over 60% improvement on my scars (deep ice picks and boxscars ... over 100 of them) and I am getting more improvements all the time.

It took a lot of time and work to get this far, but having come this far, I know further improvements are definate.

But living a life is totally important and I feel it IS possible to have a life and work on our scars at the same time.

Good luck to us all.

[Rupert]

I am enjoying this post as I do believe it is so important. Most topics here are about the mechanics and sometimes you need a break.

The important thing to remember about your post Everythingbutnothing is that it is true. I've had the same sorts of conversations and thoughts in the past but the fact of the matter is that the hard part is living it.

You make your peace but the rest of the world doesn't have our problems and every so often when you are least expecting it you get a kick in the gut. For instance one of the worst things I've endured is a few years back while on a drinking spree a friend of mine turned to me and said "you know you really do look diseased". That took me about 2 months to get over. Or for instance it may be a mate of mine now married who now has kids. A reminder in a letter once again kicking you indirectly.

Certainly the easy bit is talking about it here where it is shelter from the storm. I'd imagine Everythingbutnothing that you will keep your eyes peeled for any good new procedures in the future, we all will.

[Rupert]

you deserve that 60% maya.

on what basis do you make that 60%?, do you mean that the scars are now 60% less deep?

[Maya]

you deserve that 60% maya.

on what basis do you make that 60%?, do you mean that the scars are now 60% less deep?

Thank you Rupert

Overall, my scars are 60% improved from 15 months ago. I would say that half of them are now very shallow and a non-scarred person wouldn't notice these (I notice them of course!) and the other half are at least 50% less indented than before.

I would say that 30% of the good work was c/o Dr Chu and the other 30% has been by me (4 X TCA CROSS, lots of peels and topicals/diet etc..).

Sometimes I look at my face and hate my scars ... it is my before and after photos that really makes me realise how far I have come. I have most of the journey of my scar revision in photos. I may post them on the board in a month or so.

Saying that, my 40% that is left is still far worse than many of those who post their photos on this board.

[toomuch]

I know this feeling too well. To me, my scars are bothersome and it is very easy to get obsessed about them every second of every day and to forget to just live life. But this board has had a great impact on me. The people are extremely knowledgeable and very supportive. The board has given me hope. I trust it quite a bit. I do a lot of research on this board and experiment with techniques that others have had success with. But I find that at the same time, I'm not obsessing as much either. Because people like Maya have had great improvements, I do believe that I will see improvements and it's just a matter of time or a matter of finding what works for me.

So I hope you do continue to check into this board because it is filled with extremely knowledgeable and supportive people.

[Rupert]

hey maya,

its funny you should talk about photos but thats exactly what I've been doing today. Luckily I've got access to decent digital camera so I can get very clear photos of my scars. So about to post, probably not tomorrow as its Easter Sunday but hopefully do it Monday.

I'll be posting pictures which people will think my scarring is bad but I won't post ones which make me look beyond hope. The secret is lighting. To give an accurate reflexion of yourself leave the flash off. When I turn it on it will blitz a lot of how horrible the scars look.

maybe thats why i've been a bit short with people here about their scar pics. They post pictures of their scars where there scars dont' look bad at all. Now I come to think about it, they have nearly always got the flash on. A flash will make any scarring look less bad.

Anyway I win either way, if anybody says that my scars aren't as bad as I've claimed, I'll post worse looking pics. If I get people saying how horrendous they are, I'll post slightly more flattering ones.

Think I'll probably put them on a website and refer people over. Why am I doing this? I just want somebody to tell me what sort of scars I have. Derms seem to be (apart from a few good ones we know) pretty dim to me and I've yet to hear a clear description of my scarring. Hopefully somebody may be able to suggest things to try.

Anyway luckily my goal is just to try and take the edge off how disfigured I look. I'm sure you'll be saying thats just as well.

Maya - Happy Easter!!

[laina]

You make your peace but the rest of the world doesn't have our problems and every so often when you are least expecting it you get a kick in the gut. For instance one of the worst things I've endured is a few years back while on a drinking spree a friend of mine turned to me and said \"you know you really do look diseased\". That took me about 2 months to get over.

Not only does the person with acne scarring have to somehow come to terms with their scarring and learn to accept it, they also have to learn to deal with the ignorance and inconsideration of others.

It's disgusting the way people think they have the right to just make throwaway remarks like this. I can't stand it. People can be such arseholes at times. If someone's face were covered in knife wounds or scars from a car accident the majority of people would not be so free and easy with the judgements. But take a person with acne scarring and they just let rip.

No wonder i'm a misanthrope.

[Ian]

I agree, wtf is wrong with people. I really have no words.. Like I said earlier I have friends with bad acne and scarring, even when I am drunk I would never say something about it... moreover why should I, I see beyond it... when I look at him I see him not the acne. I mean offcourse I see that he has acne but .. I dont know I dont really thinnk more of it..

Laina ? what's a misanthrope ?

[Maya]

Laina ? what's a misanthrope ?

Sorry, I'm not Laina - but Misanthopist means being pessimistic/cynic/sceptic

Yeah ...I think some people act in a disgraceful way!

I've only once had 1 person come and ask me about my scars, he just asked (in a really nice way) what happened to my face to give me the scars. I told him straight and he was enlightened.

[OursFan]

I've been the recipient of some very nasty comments, and sometimes people actually stare at my scars. Once someone said "I knew there was something wrong with your face right away." That went straight to my heart. Unfortunately, there is no limit to how ignorant some people can be. I treat my scarring like a "filter" - filter out the ignorant, mean-spirited people so that I don't waste my time with people who won't accept me anyway.