184 replies to this topic

[Sword of Sorrow]

I try to fill my life up with enough distractions to keep from thinking of so much life I wasted. I usually do ok, but when I have time to think that's when it gets dangerous, then I fall backwards.

SOS

[ihasm1]

hey guys
so i used to have realy clear skin.and 6months ago i moved to india to live.
and that is when my acne began!(i think the pollution and hot weather caused it.
anyway i left england with clear skin and in about 2 weeks im going back for a holiday.the only problem is i have acne on my face!(moderat-severe) .
so im a bit concernd what my grand parent and cousins ar all gonna think of me face.

pls some1 messgage me back.




ty guys

[BarryAllen]

I look at my other features and make myself give me complimants. I know that sounds stupid but if i am having a hard time with my skin I will say to myself "wow, you have really nice eyes" or "your hair looks fantastic today" I say this over and over again until I feel good about myself. wow I sound kinda lame.

No none of that "sounds stupid" in fact it sounds a lot smarter than what most people do and think about themselves all day long in Western Society. You are what you think!! What have you THOUGHT ABOUT yourself lately people? Ask yourself! Check your thoughts. And if they're negative or self-defeating CHANGE THEM! You're the only one who can think in your head, doesn't matter whatever anyone else says about you, they don't live in you.

And no you don't sound "kinda lame." You're doing a good job being proactive about your self-image, self-esteem and your life. Whatever energy you give off is the energy/people you attract. So watch this, if you THINK you're "ugly" don't be surprised if people who put you down and tell you mean things show up in your life. (Yes, this even counts in High School people.)

If you think your "beautiful" and think positive thoughts by and large most of the day, watch who shows up in your life, the same kind of person. Don't believe me? Try it!

[stardusts]

I try not to think or “imagine” what other people think about my face. I try not to assume what other people may/will say about my skin. Coz I never truly know what they think. I deeply feel that guessing and making assumption about what others think is unhealthy. It can ruin self-esteem and lead to self-pity.

Some of my friends noticed my acne. I talked about it and joked a little bit to lessen the embarrassment. I then discovered good friends. Friends – they are not obnoxious and they don’t make small talks behind my back.

I don’t pay close attention to the strangers in public – whether they glance at my zits or make any chitchats/comments. They don’t know me. It is worthless to over-think about insignificant people and trivia.

It takes time to learn to live with acne.

[steezemachine]

I am now on accutane and I get some nasty pimples that are begging to be popped but I am forcing myself to change my mindset by absolutely not giving a damn what anyone else thinks because the end result will be worth it. Also once I am clear acne will be a far distant memory.

[Sati7]

I am now on accutane and I get some nasty pimples that are begging to be popped but I am forcing myself to change my mindset by absolutely not giving a damn what anyone else thinks because the end result will be worth it. Also once I am clear acne will be a far distant memory.

Wow, good for you! That is very wise and very courageous of you. I am impressed. Good luck!

[n1ck]

my acne is slowly reducing lately, but i still got horrible marks all over my face, and im breaking out a bit again.

and i got a bit down last week because of this

yesterday morning i thought: screw this, im not going to spend another minute inside..

acne or not, im going to live this weekend, and so i did.

ive done all kinds of stuf yesterday, gone shopping, partying yesterday night

and the thing with acne is, your selfesteem just gets totally destroyed, so i thought yesterday, i might not be able to heal my acne, but i can do something else about my appearance!!
so i painted my hair, something i wanted to do for quite a while, but never really had the courage because i was afraid it would draw people's attention to me.. but im very proud i finally did it

my day was so much fun yesterday, that i totally forgot about my skin..
and to think i almost stayed indoors out of insecurity! either way my skin would have still looked the same, only one way i would have a shitty day again, and the other way i had a great day!

[BarryAllen]

I agree, I really do think acne has made me a better, kinder and more accepting person than I would ever had been! Trials and hardships really do teach us excellent lessons if we are willing to learn. The fact is we can't avoid the ups and downs in life so we might as well benefit in any way we can.

I have also learned that I tend to worry and notice all my blemishes and flaws way more then other people do. So obsessing over it doesn't help, it's better to put my chin up, smile and focus on OTHERS rather then myself.

I've also found that when I have a bad flare up I tend to want to revert to my old ways(hiding from people,getting depressed, not wanting to go out, staying in my room, not going out and doing fun things I want to and planned on doing because I had a break out, etc.) and sometimes I end up hurting my friends and family or letting them down because I'm to worried over my acne.
For example the other day a friend came up and gave me a sideways hug and asked me how I was and I was having a "bad day" so I hardly replied and tried not to make eye contact, I just wanted to be invisible.
By only focusing on myself and my wants (wanting to hide) I in effect "blew off" a good friend. I should have cared more about his feelings and the kindness he showed me and smiled at him and returned the kindness, then about my insecurities.
I wonder what people think when I respond in this way to them? How easy it could be to give them the wrong idea or make them feel insecure or rejected accidentally!

Everyone has insecurities or flaws they worry about and think people judge them about. Rejection is a big fear for many people, everyone wants to be accepted and loved, flaws and all.

Really people notice and remember your smile, friendly attitude and kindness way more than your acne. I've even been told by people I was pretty! Acne and all.
A friendly, kind, joyful person who is interested in others is a very attractive person!! Making others feel loved, important and accepted will take you miles further then having flawless skin.

Strong friendships and solid communication skills are more useful and more valuable then clear skin and do not require clear skin to gain.

In the end I, myself, have held myself back and limited my life way more than acne has. It's always been my choice. My acne may have been painful and emotionally difficult but not physically limiting. I could always still walk and see, and talk and hear and do the things I wanted to do, I just choose not to.
Looking back I don't think wasting so many years of my life and falling into serious depression and suicidal thoughts over my acne was a wise choice.
It would have been better to have been brave and lived and enjoyed my life as best and most fully as I could. It never would have been easy and maybe not always doable but I could defiantly have done better and made wiser choices. The best thing to do now is to learn from this and move on to a better future.

One last thought is learning to love and accept yourself as you are for who you are. I often remind myself this by thinking of a loved one and what advice I'd give them if they had acne and felt bad about it or disliked them self for it. I'd wrap them in love and acceptance and encourage them to live their life. I'd hate to see them harshly judge themselves or hate themselves because of acne, or limit their life over it.
I try not to judge myself more harshly then I'd judge a love one, truly we are our own most cruel and judgmental critic!

So smile and find joy, your not your acne and there is a whole beautiful person there that wants to live and share in the world!

Thanx to AnotherDay for the above post. I really enjoyed (LOVED ) reading it. I think in summary it shows that life really isn't about what HAPPENS TO YOU. It's about what you DO ABOUT WHAT HAPPENS TO YOU! Life isn't here to make us all happy, and even in dark, black times or stressful events we can come out of them grown, changed for the better, and more skilled and adept at helping other people using our experiences and wisdom. It's really our choice, what do you choose? How will you be, remember it's usually the blackest right before the dawn, you may feel lost and alone, but truthfully, you're never alone. NEVER ALONE!!!! You may FEEL alone, but it simply isn't true. Someone and something is always around you ready to guide you, you'll find some directions from deep within yourself and that quiet voice in your mind and soul, and you'll also find some help by reaching out to others, both asking for their help and extending yourself and helping them as well. Don't believe me? Try it and get back to me. There's always an answer and always a solution, just remember at the same time, there's always another question too, for how would there be answers without questions? You'd never have anything to learn.

[Effy]

Well even though my acne is the same
I used to ALWAYS wear makeup like powder and foundation etc.
to hide my acne scars and acne.
I thought I would never be able to go in public without foundation on
I even used to joke calling it "my face"
I wore it since maybe freshman year or 8th grade
and I'm in 11th grade right now

but a few months ago I just stopped
at first I thought "eekkkk gag I look bad!"
I still wear lip gloss/eye makeup
but I rarely put on powder anymore
I just got tired because I felt like I was trying (unsuccessful) to hide them
I'm not saying my skin got better when I stopped with makeup
but I figured I couldn't hide my acne scars
might as well embrace them.

and tomorrow
even though I broke out bad :/
I will still get up and put on my new shirt and
try to feel good

[shushu484]

I have realized that even though acne is horrible and everything, I have the best friends because of it! That sounds strange but my closest friends are the least shallow people I know and they never notice my bad skin. Even when I'm having an awful day and skin is completely hideous, my best friend never notices my pimples because she sees me.

Of course, having acne sucks but I've found out that a lot of people don't judge you solely based on appearances. Besides, when I feel good about myself I think I look good and that's all that really matters!

[peace2823]

totally agree!!! i've come to accept my face with cystic acne to face my professionl & personal life. needless to say, can't leave the flat without the make up, social life reducing & you basically have to see beyond the face value and keep agilant on knowledge, wisdom to battle it

[lola bunny]

Two weeks ago I was a volunteer at a campaign organized completely by students. It was held in a huge auditorium, and of course the lights were extremely bright and every teeny tiny detail and flaw on one's skin could be easily detected.My skin,especially my cheeks,was full of red marks and a few a active zits and a lot of disgusting blackheads.I felt so self conscious and was trying to avoid making direct eye contact with the the other volunteers (especially the males).While I was busy working,my brother who was the leader of my group called me and introduced me to one of the main organizers of the campaign who was about 4 years older than myslef, and he asked me to explain our main idea to him(God it was so difficult looking him in the face), but to my surprise ,ever since that first encounter and throughout the the 4 days of the campaign he has been observing and watching me (sometimes I'll be explaining something to the guests and when I look up I see him just standing there and staring at me) and trying to get any chance he could possibly get just to talk to me. He is the love of my life. What I am trying to say is that acne actually reveals what type of people we are dealing with and if this man managed to love me despite my bad skin, that means that he is not a shallow person and that he has the remarkable gift of seeing past external appearances and finding the true beauty in people.

[kimmi2384]

this is such a good idea!
like everyone on here i tend to get really upset about my skin! i freak out over every spot adn im the worst at popping them! i know its bad but i cant help it!
then when the spots dont get better and even when i cake myself in make-up i just cry sometimes as i feel like i look like a freaK!
but its controling my life. i have cancelled girlie wkends away as i hate people seing me without make-up, been single for year and a half as im too scared to talk to guys as feel they just staring at my spots and if i do then it never lasts as i wont let them stay the night or stay at theirs as it means them seeing me without make-up!
This wk i decided enough was enough! im hoping to go travelling in 5 months time and have been putting booking it as im too worried about sharing a dorm with strangers and them all seeing me without make-up but yesterday my friend asked me out for dinner and instead of making usual excuse as after work i tend to run home, take make-up off and stare at my skin in mirror willing the spots and scars to go i went out! and had such a fun night! im going out again tonight and im thinking sod it! im 24 years old and i sud be having fun!
also my friend last night was like you cant even see them. she said she never noticed till i started going on about them! so i do think i think they are worse then they are! maybe my mum was telling the truth when she says they're not that bad!
so im going try be more positive and going book my travel holiday and have fun!!

[anon2]

I look at my other features and make myself give me complimants. I know that sounds stupid but if i am having a hard time with my skin I will say to myself "wow, you have really nice eyes" or "your hair looks fantastic today" I say this over and over again until I feel good about myself. wow I sound kinda lame.

No none of that "sounds stupid" in fact it sounds a lot smarter than what most people do and think about themselves all day long in Western Society. You are what you think!! What have you THOUGHT ABOUT yourself lately people? Ask yourself! Check your thoughts. And if they're negative or self-defeating CHANGE THEM! You're the only one who can think in your head, doesn't matter whatever anyone else says about you, they don't live in you.

And no you don't sound "kinda lame." You're doing a good job being proactive about your self-image, self-esteem and your life. Whatever energy you give off is the energy/people you attract. So watch this, if you THINK you're "ugly" don't be surprised if people who put you down and tell you mean things show up in your life. (Yes, this even counts in High School people.)

If you think your "beautiful" and think positive thoughts by and large most of the day, watch who shows up in your life, the same kind of person. Don't believe me? Try it!

aw thanks for that!
I forgot i even wrote that it was all the way back in sept 2008 but i sure did mean it. thanks again.

[Minerva473]

I've got some acne scarring that's developing, which is really scary because I don't know how bad it will look in the end. But I think this whole experience is challenging me in a good way, to look inside of myself and think about the person I want to be. Because I've been a recluse most of my life, don't really make an effort to help other people out (even before acne was a big worry). But something I've noticed is that even though it's really hard to get up in the morning and look at my face, and I feel anxious about being seen, I'm the most miserable when I stay home and hide all day. When I'm busy with other things and talking with people I stop thinking about my face and overall I'm happier. But I'd be even happier if I felt better about myself as a person and could see myself as beautiful on the inside, so I'm starting to arrange volunteering and just try to do good things with my time!

[k&m's mommy]

I feel that my acne makes me less confident, but I am finding as I get older that there are more important things in life to put my energy towards. It is very discouraging at times, but I know I'll have good and bad days with it. I feel the most discouraged when I am around other women who have beautiful skin.

I've had acne since I was 11. I've tried every face wash, over the counter medication, prescription med (except accutane) and nothing has really worked. I am now 32, and have accomplished many things. There are still more things I want to accomplish. I will take steps to acheive my goals whether or not I have acne. It would be nice to have clear skin too, don't get me wrong!! I've managed to graduate from college, be an officer in a campus organization, get married and have 2 wonderful daughters, all while I've struggled with acne.

There were times, especially in high school, that I would pretend to be sick so I could stay home while a bad breakout healed. Looking back on those days, if I would have not picked at my face, it likely would have looked good enough for me to go to school. I missed out on so much while I was sitting at home, upset about my face. Keep your hands off and be gentle. Alternate ice and heat and take an anti-inflamatory if the pimple or cyst is painful. Find a good concealer so you aren't clogging your pores while you are hiding breakouts (I read on Dan's pages a few days ago that Almay is a good one). I am just starting Dan's program and it makes scientific sense to me, and uses inexpensive products. Wish me luck!! I wish you all luck with Dan's program and in all else you do.

[3balls]

Hi, everyone I'm Daniel and I like many of you have also had acne for a long time...like since I was 13. I've done the whole hibernating/avoiding people because of Acne thing back in high school. It was when I went to college that i started becoming more outgoing and stopped feeling sorry for myself. I know it's tough looking in the mirror everyday, but I still go out there and try to live my life in the best of my ability. I even started working out and watching what I eat. However, I still break out occasionally. Recently, I've started scarring really bad and I was extremely depressed for a semester of school and it affected my school grades drastically as well. It gave me mood swings and a nasty temper. And like most of you it made me extremely shy around girls with stunning skin- it kept reminding me how unlucky I am and how lucky they are. I hate how I self defecate on myself because of acne. I'm 22 now and still wish I could have clear skin one day, actually more than anything I wish I didn't have acne scarring. I think acne scarring is worse than acne itself. Ughh, some days i just break down and I wish I had more strength to stay strong and get out there and socialize. Anyways, your thoughts would be nice.

-Daniel aka Yung D

[Charlotte_89]

went to see my somewhat idiotic ex froma long time ago with no make up on...i always used to sleep in it for him. i don't care what he thought

[junebug]

I wore a bikini even though I have tons of acne scars on my back and a few small zits on my chest and back.

I never wear makeup.

I have decided to try to not run away from picture takers anymore. : )

[September12345]

before i could NOT bear to look at a mirror. if i went to the bathroom, i would wash my hands and look down on my hands so i didn't have to see my reflection. but now i guess i'm used to the fact that i don't have perfect skin. sometimes looking at the mirror upsets me and makes me think that i will Never have perfect/nearly perfect skin. but you need to know how to improve your skin and improving your skin takes a long process. i think one of those processes is looking at yourself and being happy with how you look. because happiness is the key to success, definitely