106 replies to this topic

[thorn]

Have not been doing good lately at all. Even more flare ups and breakouts. I think it is seriously time to start analyzing other options. I am about 3.5 months in and this just is not cutting it. I am not doing anything wrong, I am sure of it.

I am going to schedule an appointment with my Derm within the next couple weeks. Might be on the 3rd round of Accutane. I really hate to do it, but I just can't take this anymore. My skin is dying because of all the chemicals I am putting on it, constantly red, blotchy, and dry. And I am convinced that I will have this shit the rest of my life, and to be honest, I am not ready to accept that. I don't even want to go out of my house or look my girlfriend in the eye.

It's time for a change.

[femme25]

how are things, darlin? Did you end up goin to the derm?

miss ur updates <3

[thorn]

how are things, darlin? Did you end up goin to the derm?

miss ur updates <3

Hey Jdub! No, I have not scheduled my derm appointment yet. I am still just going on with the regimen. I am having such a tough time with it though, only because I cant really tell if its working. Sounds weird, but I have so much scarring and redness from irritation that its hard to tell if its actually getting better, breakout-wise. I dont seem to have too many new breakouts, its just that the BP makes all my old acne and scars last so much longer.

[thorn]

Day 664
Thats right. It has almost been 2 years since on the regimen, and more than a year since my last update. I wish that I would have come back on better terms to speak of.

I am pretty much done with the DKR. I have been progressively declining in my complexion and feel that I must explore other options. I have too much scarring left over from me pre-Accutane, cystic acne days that I am afraid if I dont do something soon, I will be left with even worse skin than I already have now.

Im not sure if anyone will even read my post, but I feel that I must post this for at least myself and to get it out in the open:

There are too many words to describe how I am feeling. Sad, depressed, frustrated, angry, hopeless. I have had this disease for more than 8 years now, and it never fails to amaze me how much I can still not accept this acne. It has altered my life more than I ever thought it could and it really just makes me sad. I no longer go to any parties (even though I am a senior in college), I never go swimming because I get too dried out, even tonight is a good example.... my girlfriends family just got in town from Ohio and instead of meeting them at her house I told her that I was busy doing something, just so I would not have to go over there and be in front of everyone with this god awful face. I have stopped looking in the mirror unless the light in the bathroom is off and only the hall light shines in. Because of this I wash my face and apply my BP in the dark. Even when using the bathroom or washing my hands I never look up into the mirror. Pathetic isnt it? I cant even stand to look at my own face. Thats when you know it is pretty bad.

All I can say is, I really wish I knew what I have done to deserve this curse. I am not saying that I have it any worse than anyone else, or saying that I wish I had cancer instead.... but I just wish I knew of what to do. I want to take a 3rd course of accutane, but: 1- I dont know who will give it to me. 2- I am scared to take it again because of the unknown long term side effects. and 3- Its expensive.

I just really wish I could give up on all this and live a normal life. My personal and social life are paying for it in more ways than I can count.

[The King of all Media]

Hang in there dude, trust me I feel your pain. I think like this almost everyday. Some days are easier than others. I dunno what to say man, I'm in the same boat and feel the same. I wish you luck and hope things get better for ya..but for me, I doubt I'll ever be 100% clear again

[thorn]

I plan on calling the derm tomorrow for an appointment. I know I said I would never go back.... but this is just getting out of control. I am gonna try to convince him to give me accutane. Either a full 3rd course, or a low dose/long term course.

I will update again

[thorn]

Its been a while but Im still around and checking back in.

24 years old now, and still have acne.

Maybe try the probiotic and fiber regimen next? No idea.