No replies to this topic

[creativegirl]

Today the Journey Begins- A journey of hope, anticipation, excitement, fear, doubt and even a little bit of prayer to the clear skin gods that Accutane will work for me. I'm 34 years old and my my battle w/ severe and persistent acne began in 2001 one when I had my son--ah, Motherhood, the gift that just keeps on giving!

Prior to becoming a Mom I would often breakout but in a way that was manageable w/ over the counter products. Now nothing seems to work and I can't rember the last time my face was clear and free of --whiteheads, blackhead, and cists- O'My. I'll admit, and only to you my fellow skin challenged friends (who will hopefully understand), I've become and incessant picker, squeezer, tweezer and needler. BAD BAD BAD -I know but I don't know how to stop the insanity. It has almost become a form of therapy for me....if that makes any sense at all?! I know this is in NO way, what-so-ever, of helping my crusade, but ALAS, how does one stop a habit that has developed over the past five years???? Help, please.

I do notice that when I am in the sun and away from work for a week my skin does seem to clear right up and I start to feel like my old confident self again. Unfortunately, my bank account does not permit me becoming a retired long-term beach goer at the mere age of 34. Anyhow, aside from the few times a year that I can get away from work and get into the sun this acne of mine has found what seems to be a permanent residence on my face! Eviction notices and all...it won't move out!

So, here I am typing away (while I should be working mind you) because I've spent several days reading everyone's messages, stories, logs, regimes and words of strength and encouragement. I'm hoping that I can join in the "warm and fuzzy" email party and steal away a few e-hugs from those who know what it is like to be dealing w/ acne as an adult-- Lack of self-confidence, introversion, anger and even lack of motivation in work, excercise, and life and general. YUCK--that has all got to go away. I've posted a picture of me when I was 3 because I dream of that time in my life when acne was not even a part of my vocabulary, never mind a daily disability. If I can muster up the courage I will post pics along the way of my Accutane Journey....

After a long road to the decision to go on Accutane....my journey finally begins tomorrow! Wish me luck and for anyone who has read through my entirely long ramble here....Thank you, Thank you, Thank you...just for caring that much! Jenn