32 replies to this topic

[sunshinedaydream]

So I work with this woman who is super cute and cheery and has flawless skin- the kind of skin only genetics can produce. So we're at a meeting last night and she starts telling me how she owns her own business on the side and that she sells some kind of swiss botanical, all-natural skin care system that reduces aging (yeah, I am not even 30 yet), blah blah blah and she thinks I could benefit from it- and I will see results in *gasp* FOUR DAYS!!!
My skin has actually been pretty decent lately (for me, anyway) with the exception of two big zits I have at the moment that are probably stress-related. So I really appreciated her looking me over and declaring me in need of a new skincare regimen in front of other coworkers. Thank you for making me feel hideous. I have been acne-prone since I was 12 and have tried every stupid product and medication out there, but yeah, I am sure your high-priced miracle swiss crap is going to be the magic cure! Did I ASK for your help or advice? Was the conversation even REMOTELY related to skin/beauty/aging at ALL!? NO! Then she comes over, hands me this big bag full of product samples (yeah it is like a 25-step system) that I she wants me to take home, use for 4 days and RETURN (yeah, other people have been using them and filling the containers with all of their skin bacteria). I felt completely on the spot and couldn't figure out how to tell her to take a hike without actually telling her to take a hike (since she's a coworker and we need to work together) and I ended up just shoving it in my bag and then leaving it in my desk drawer, so I can give it back in 4 days, tell her the product is not for me, and get on with my life.

This is not the first time coworkers have looked at me with this look of "sympathy" and tried to give me whatever crap they are selling that is supposed to be for acne. Do you idiots not realize that you are not only being really rude, but also unprofessional!? ARGHHHHH!!!

[bittermp]

people who dont have acne are complete and utterly stupid when it comes to acne. they don't know the deep roots of shame that some people feel about their skin. they think they're helping but they're not.

The worst is when they try to help without actually saying anything, I once had people mention that creme de la mer cream that costs like 200 bucks a jar as good for skin, totally hinting that i should try it. Whatever! A total scam.




anyway, try to come up with a comeback, how about you have a side business on weight loss or losing weight around the neck or lopsided breasts or saggy asses and then ask the coworker if they want a free sample and then look pitying at their ass.

[dsal]

Wow, I know what you mean. I know a lady who is more than an acquaintance, but not actually a good friend. The first tiime she was over my house, she mentioned that she noticed that I have some "skin issues". And that she uses a type of natural skin care system, *made in Switzerland*--as a matter-of-fact, I have a feeling that it might be the same system your co-worker told you about! (I'm wondering if that's part of their marketing training---encouraging their sales reps to approach acne-inflicted people with offers of their "help".) She told me that she uses this system, and that she saw a recent photograph of herself and that her "skin just glowed". So there she was, complimenting her own beautiful skin, while telling me that she's noticing that my skin has issues. (As an aside here: I recently saw her in a picture, and when I saw her, I remembered thinking that it was a shame that her face looked so oily. I guess what I saw as oily, she saw as dew-kissed. lol. Yet her skin is very clear. I think that has more to do with good genes than with her cosmetic products however.)

To be fair, I'm sure she was really trying to help, and probably, so was your co-worker. But I don't realize how people think it's ok to broach such a subject if they weren't asked for their help?

After my "friend" mentioned this to me, I was so taken aback by her boldness that I ended up stammering some kind of response. That managed to morph into my telling her my acne-struggle autobiography! The more I said, the more stupid I felt. The more stupid I felt, the more I said. It was an almost endless-cycle of babble.

Of course, afterwards, I regretted my major discourse, and felt completely awful. Awful that my skin has issues. Awful that she noticed. Awful that she thought it was bad enough that she needed to help me. Awful that I began babbling like an idiot when I am normally a mature, composed woman. Unbelievable!

I consoled myself by thinking of responses I could have said instead of my babble. "Yes, my skin has issues. But perhaps you have issues for being so forward." or, "You're right, my skin does have issues. But instead, let's talk about your recent weight gain. Have you thought of joining Weight Watchers?" or how about this: "Oh, I wonder if those new cosmetics you recommend are what's causing those dark lines under your eyes" etc. I would never be so mean as to actually say something like that, but for some reason it gave me great comfort to think of those rude little remarks I could have made!

I finally ended my awkward speech by mentioning that I was under the care of a dermatologist, and that I only use products that she recommends. I've found throughout the years, that that usually shuts up the do-gooders. Almost no-one will want to say that their product is superior to what the dermatologist advises.

So when you see your co-worker, perhaps you can just hand back the samples to her privately. And then try to remain diplomatic and detached, and say, "Thank you for your concern. But I want to tell you that I am kind of sensitive about my skin, and would rather not discuss it during work. And I have tried numerous products, and am always game to try something new, however topical products can only do so much. So if my dermatologist agrees that it's a good idea, I'd like to try these products, but my derm always insists that I try product samples that are new and have never been opened. Thanks for being willing to help."

That way, you have turned an awkward situation into something positive, but have assertively informed your co-worker that certain things should not be openly discussed. Yet if you're gracious, then your working relationship will not be awkward. And perhaps you'll get some freebie make-up and cleanser samples!

Gee, funny how I can have my head together to help come up with something good for you to say, yet when confronted with a similar situation, I was far from composed!!

And if you do get try the samples and your skin becomes entirely acneless in four days, then buy me the whole kit!!!!!!

Hope this helps,
D.S.

[BonitoBot]

I've had people trying to diagnose my skin problems:

"Is it diabetes?"
"Is it shingles?"

NO! IT'S ACNE YOU MORONS!

And I love the way they state the obvious like: "have you thought about seeing your doctor?" No, I've never considered seeing my doctor, I just thought soap, water and meditation would get rid of them.

The thing is, they're just trying to help. If you've never had acne, you never understand what it's like to have it. Worst of all is when your mates come up to you and go "oh my god, I've got THE biggest zit on my face", and you're like "where?". UGH. Drives me nuts.

[LizInNY]

Ugh! People can be so stupid! Just because they THINK they know something (when they dont) they try to help, meanwhile they have never in their life experienced what we are going through! I especially loveddd when my old manager asked "do u wash your face regularly?" when in confidence i was telling her about going on accutane. uhm yess sweetie i've been washing my face since 12 years old.

When I was working in a retail store last year (1 month into accutane, IB was in FULL EFFECT) some older woman came in, looks at me and says "I see you have the oily skin. My grandson had the same problem and i had him stop eating burgers, fries and soda and all junk food. Once a week put some lemon juice on your face and it really helps." I wanted to cry and yell at this woman at the same time. I'm graduating with a degree in exercise physiology and nutritional sciences.. i eat NONE of the crap she had mentioned. And I'm sure lemon juice on my face would be great!!! People who are uneducated about acne just make things worse. Don't listen to them. They're shmucks.

End of vent.

[dsal]

Ugh! People can be so stupid! Just because they THINK they know something (when they dont) they try to help, meanwhile they have never in their life experienced what we are going through! I especially loveddd when my old manager asked "do u wash your face regularly?" when in confidence i was telling her about going on accutane. uhm yess sweetie i've been washing my face since 12 years old.

When I was working in a retail store last year (1 month into accutane, IB was in FULL EFFECT) some older woman came in, looks at me and says "I see you have the oily skin. My grandson had the same problem and i had him stop eating burgers, fries and soda and all junk food. Once a week put some lemon juice on your face and it really helps." I wanted to cry and yell at this woman at the same time. I'm graduating with a degree in exercise physiology and nutritional sciences.. i eat NONE of the crap she had mentioned. And I'm sure lemon juice on my face would be great!!! People who are uneducated about acne just make things worse. Don't listen to them. They're shmucks.

End of vent.

Liz, unbelievable! "Lemon on my skin? Good idea, I think I'll give that a try. And maybe peroxide would get the blue dye out of your white hair!" Aren't you just so tempted to say something like that? lol. Again, I would never be that rude to answer with that remark, but it is fun to think about it.

Actually, it would have been good to say, "I'm glad you're encouraging your grandson to give up junk food. I'm majoring in Nutritional Sciences, and have learned that even though junk food doesn't directly affect acne, it's not a good nutritional habit to have. He's far better off eating healthy like I do." Diplomatic and educational for that older lady who really needed to hear that.

One time someone told me that when a person says something outrageously rude, to say this back to them, "Do you have any friends?" lol. Think about it. Then again, I'd never be rude enough to actually say that.

D.S.

[A-Shizzle]

I believe you are talking about Arbonne. CRAP.

What a jerk..she's the kind of sales rep that sucks. They have no tact..they do whatever they can to try to get new costomers.

[sunshinedaydream]

I believe you are talking about Arbonne. CRAP.

What a jerk..she's the kind of sales rep that sucks. They have no tact..they do whatever they can to try to get new costomers.

You're right! It is Arbonne! I looked at the samples and they look like a bunch of super heavy greasy garbage.

[dsal]

I believe you are talking about Arbonne. CRAP.

What a jerk..she's the kind of sales rep that sucks. They have no tact..they do whatever they can to try to get new costomers.

You're right! It is Arbonne! I looked at the samples and they look like a bunch of super heavy greasy garbage.

OK, not sure we were supposed to mention brand names, but if we are....yes, my lady was Arbonne as well!

D.S.

[LizInNY]

Ugh! People can be so stupid! Just because they THINK they know something (when they dont) they try to help, meanwhile they have never in their life experienced what we are going through! I especially loveddd when my old manager asked "do u wash your face regularly?" when in confidence i was telling her about going on accutane. uhm yess sweetie i've been washing my face since 12 years old.

When I was working in a retail store last year (1 month into accutane, IB was in FULL EFFECT) some older woman came in, looks at me and says "I see you have the oily skin. My grandson had the same problem and i had him stop eating burgers, fries and soda and all junk food. Once a week put some lemon juice on your face and it really helps." I wanted to cry and yell at this woman at the same time. I'm graduating with a degree in exercise physiology and nutritional sciences.. i eat NONE of the crap she had mentioned. And I'm sure lemon juice on my face would be great!!! People who are uneducated about acne just make things worse. Don't listen to them. They're shmucks.

End of vent.

Liz, unbelievable! "Lemon on my skin? Good idea, I think I'll give that a try. And maybe peroxide would get the blue dye out of your white hair!" Aren't you just so tempted to say something like that? lol. Again, I would never be that rude to answer with that remark, but it is fun to think about it.

Actually, it would have been good to say, "I'm glad you're encouraging your grandson to give up junk food. I'm majoring in Nutritional Sciences, and have learned that even though junk food doesn't directly affect acne, it's not a good nutritional habit to have. He's far better off eating healthy like I do." Diplomatic and educational for that older lady who really needed to hear that.

One time someone told me that when a person says something outrageously rude, to say this back to them, "Do you have any friends?" lol. Think about it. Then again, I'd never be rude enough to actually say that.

D.S.

Hahaha I wish I was bold enough to say that. Then of course I would feel bad acting "superior" or bragging about my knowledge in the area... even though she obviously felt no shame in expressing her so-called "knowledge".

THe peroxide comment had me rolling! Too bad I didnt think of those things. Instead I ran right to the backroom instead of crying on the spot

I guess suffering from acne actually forces us to think about how other people would feel before we open our mouths?

[Pandora3co]

Yeah I know what you mean. I was at the lunch table with a coworker ( we both have skin issues and compare and contrast notes so it's cool like that) and I was talking to her about a new cream i've been trying the last 5 days and my boss..... who's skin is acne free... sits down and announces....... Get ready for it.......... "Well you know, all you have to do to get rid of acne is use witch-hazel, get some and put it on your face with a cotton ball. Your zits will be gone in 2 days!" And then she smiled at us while my coworker and I sort of stared at her dumbfounded. I mumbled somethign like " uh thanks for the advice" and we each went back to our own lunches in silence.

What??? OMG??? If it were seriously that easy do you think ANY HUMAN BEING would have acne??? I was so mad. And it was my boss that said it so I couldnt' even really say anything back either.

Some people really do have NO clue.

[Dirge]

I have to say that I agree with you. I am SO sick of hearing about my skin. I would be inclined to think that others discuss it more often than I do. I am bloody TIRED of being told their "cures" too...this from people who have this -one- tiny zit and find their life is over.

One guy had the nerve to tell me to just stop washing my face, and to start wiping it with baby wipes. My husband swears I don't have it...I have a half dozen cysts that suggest otherwise. They say, "Stop wearing make up, stop washing your face, do this, do that..." Would YOU go out without a bit of cosmetic?

Sorry for the rant, but wow...this board is such a catharsis. I'm glad I'm not the only one who is having these 'cures' thrust upon them by people with flawless skin. =/

[dsal]

Yeah I know what you mean. I was at the lunch table with a coworker ( we both have skin issues and compare and contrast notes so it's cool like that) and I was talking to her about a new cream i've been trying the last 5 days and my boss..... who's skin is acne free... sits down and announces....... Get ready for it.......... "Well you know, all you have to do to get rid of acne is use witch-hazel, get some and put it on your face with a cotton ball. Your zits will be gone in 2 days!" And then she smiled at us while my coworker and I sort of stared at her dumbfounded. I mumbled somethign like " uh thanks for the advice" and we each went back to our own lunches in silence.

What??? OMG??? If it were seriously that easy do you think ANY HUMAN BEING would have acne??? I was so mad. And it was my boss that said it so I couldnt' even really say anything back either.

Some people really do have NO clue.

UH...Unbelievable! Dumbfounded is a good word---I'm dumbfounded by this, too!

D.S.

[LizInNY]

Sorry for the rant, but wow...this board is such a catharsis. I'm glad I'm not the only one who is having these 'cures' thrust upon them by people with flawless skin. =/

Don't worry about "ranting" Neko... we are all dealing with the same thing and we know how much it sucks. THIS is the place to let it out

[A-Shizzle]

I believe you are talking about Arbonne. CRAP.

What a jerk..she's the kind of sales rep that sucks. They have no tact..they do whatever they can to try to get new costomers.

You're right! It is Arbonne! I looked at the samples and they look like a bunch of super heavy greasy garbage.

Hahha, I knew it. I was going to *try* them and when she gave me the sample kit which I knew a bunch of other people had used I was disgusted. That is SO unsanitary! And she tells me well, I clean off the containers before the next person gets them. Yeah, cause that does A LOT of good for the products inside.

I have tried it all..avon, mary kay etc and I thought Arbonne was the worst. My Mom swears by it though!

[dsal]

I believe you are talking about Arbonne. CRAP.

What a jerk..she's the kind of sales rep that sucks. They have no tact..they do whatever they can to try to get new costomers.

You're right! It is Arbonne! I looked at the samples and they look like a bunch of super heavy greasy garbage.

Hahha, I knew it. I was going to *try* them and when she gave me the sample kit which I knew a bunch of other people had used I was disgusted. That is SO unsanitary! And she tells me well, I clean off the containers before the next person gets them. Yeah, cause that does A LOT of good for the products inside.

I have tried it all..avon, mary kay etc and I thought Arbonne was the worst. My Mom swears by it though!

My "friend"/sales rep also loves it, that's why she became a rep. And in all honesty, I've never given it a try, so maybe it is nice. But I think they need to stress to their reps that they should use tact.

And, by-the-way, isn't it even illegal to just reuse samples like that? I know in hair salons' makeup areas, there are always clean brushes and Qtips by the make-up area. But if someone has a bunch of large containers to hand out to friends to try, who knows what those friends are dipping into those containers: dirty fingers?? Dirty makeup brushes?? etc. I think the Health Department would have a problem with that practice.

D.S.

[sunshinedaydream]

Well I am glad to know I am not the only one who has had to deal with this! And this is not the first time! At a job I had a few years ago I was having a really bad stress-related breakout (I had recently been beaten up and mugged, which my coworker knew) and my coworker came up to me and talking all about her Mary Kay products and how she had one that would work great to clear up my face. So there I was already traumatized and just trying to get on with my life so at that point my skin was not my highest priority, and this woman thinks that would be a good time to kick me while I am down and point out my flaws while trying to make a buck.

I am naturally very thin, and I would NEVER walk up to a heavier person and try to give them diet or excercise advice! So why would it be okay for someone with clear skin to walk up to someone with acne and do the same thing?

[Dirge]

Don't worry about "ranting" Neko... we are all dealing with the same thing and we know how much it sucks. THIS is the place to let it out smile.gif

Thanks. x)

I've had acne since I was 18 (I'm 22 now) - it's what I call "migratory" acne: that is, it started on my forehead, worked its way down to my cheeks, and finally settled onto my chin. Now it's working its way back up my jawline, but leaving a heavy "zit trail" on its way back up. I think this is the worst its ever been. My cheeks and chin and around my mouth are so...ugh. Broken out. Cystic.

When I was in the shower this morning, I was thinking about other 'cures' I've been told. My friend swears by her IVORY - yes, hand soap - and suggested it to me. I've been told to stop washing it at all. I've tried just about everything. Hell, I didn't even start wearing makeup until I started working in an office, and YES, the acne was there before the cosmetic was. So PLEASE stop telling me to stop using make up.

My husband, oh how I love him, but over the holiday break, he happily went days without bathing. NOT A SINGLE ZIT.

Grr. xP

[LizInNY]

Don't worry about "ranting" Neko... we are all dealing with the same thing and we know how much it sucks. THIS is the place to let it out smile.gif

When I was in the shower this morning, I was thinking about other 'cures' I've been told. My friend swears by her IVORY - yes, hand soap - and suggested it to me. I've been told to stop washing it at all. I've tried just about everything. Hell, I didn't even start wearing makeup until I started working in an office, and YES, the acne was there before the cosmetic was. So PLEASE stop telling me to stop using make up.

My husband, oh how I love him, but over the holiday break, he happily went days without bathing. NOT A SINGLE ZIT.

Grr. xP

Yeah I firmly believe acne is NOT in anyway caused by washing/not washing. Acne is something internal caused by genetics, hormone imbalances or excess etc. Avg. Joe may get A SINGLE zit or two when they dont wash their face for a couple of days but they don't get ACNE. Acne is a disease that is on the inside, the symptoms are just on the outside!

[A-Shizzle]

Don't worry about "ranting" Neko... we are all dealing with the same thing and we know how much it sucks. THIS is the place to let it out smile.gif

Thanks. x)

I've had acne since I was 18 (I'm 22 now) - it's what I call "migratory" acne: that is, it started on my forehead, worked its way down to my cheeks, and finally settled onto my chin. Now it's working its way back up my jawline, but leaving a heavy "zit trail" on its way back up. I think this is the worst its ever been. My cheeks and chin and around my mouth are so...ugh. Broken out. Cystic.

When I was in the shower this morning, I was thinking about other 'cures' I've been told. My friend swears by her IVORY - yes, hand soap - and suggested it to me. I've been told to stop washing it at all. I've tried just about everything. Hell, I didn't even start wearing makeup until I started working in an office, and YES, the acne was there before the cosmetic was. So PLEASE stop telling me to stop using make up.

My husband, oh how I love him, but over the holiday break, he happily went days without bathing. NOT A SINGLE ZIT.

Grr. xP

cystic hormonal acne?