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generally im trying to talk in the past tense, you know.. stay positive, and put all that behind me
I've always had some kind of skin problem, and i'm 19 right now. my acne would best be described as mild, though it often flucuates between light and moderate, and on very rare occasions was nonexistant. only sometimes would i feel like my skin was completely overwhelmed with breakouts. usually i have(had) anywhere from 1-6 active spots or healing spots at any given time. i know that many have it much worse and i have nothing both love and respect for those battling more severe problems because i know how much my self esteem has suffered from a mild problem. most often the spots are/were concentrated on my lower face, specifically my chin and jawline, or on my forehead and along my hair line. very rarely are there any on my cheeks.
my problem is generally bareable, but my skin always felt like such a tease. i would see whatever active spots i had healing and get excited at the prospect of perfect skin, even if just for a few days, and then just like clock-work new ones would form. living in my skin has felt like such a long fustrating process. even though i know this is a common problem, i was always so deeply ashamed of my skin. i most definatly would not leave my house without concealor, no matter how late i was running. i checked my face in the mirror constantly and obsessively. i would sleep in makeup at my boyfriend's house and rush in to the bathroom when i woke up in the morning with a compact. on bad days i have broken plans with people, or would not even feel comfortable going into my kitchen or outside of my room without makeup on. it's almost embarassing to talk about just how much my skin has affected my quality of life, espeically when i know people struggle with much worse. every morning i did the zombie-like walk to the mirror to check out the damage. waking up to bad skin meant i would have a bad dat. a day of avoiding eye contact, keeping my face down.. hiding myself with my hair, and constantly checking the mirror and putting makeup on. if it was bad enough, i even skipped class or called out of work...
which leads me to june 29th. i was sitting at my computer desk where i usually do my makeup. i had already been sitting there for upwards of a half hour, with all the foundations and concealors and tinted moisturizers i have in front of me, as well as a huge bottle of moisturizer, trying to sooth my skin and get some kind of decent coverage. i had a particuliarly bad breakout which at the time i didnt understand because i was using neutrogena daily face scrub (SA face scrub) and 10% BP.
needless to say my face was in pretty rough shape, dry and flakey yet also broken out. i started crying in fustration and ended up calling out. i told myself, i have to get this under control. i hate makeup, i hate being a slave to it, and i have the way im letting this control my life. i decided i either needed to grow some amazing amount of courage and throw away my makeup and face the world as is.. or i needed to get things under control so i would only need to use minimial makeup. although i had tried most OTC products- all the clean and clears and clearisils and neutrogenas and ect i was getting desperate and researching Proactiv and drugstore knock-offs like Acne Free. that's actually how i ended up at this site.. reading product reccomendations. i ended up on the main page of acne.org, and that when i discovered the regimen. I started the regimen within the next 2 days and amazingly started seeing results. even if things never work out perfectly i have managed to find some little strand of hope. even if i would look at just one or two spots on my face i still felt absolutely terrible because i seemed to have no control over the next ones that were going to develop eventually.
I thought i knew a lot about skincare and apparently i was generally ass-backwards on when i thought to be correct. i had once heard that dead skin and lack of exfoliation caused breakouts, so naturally it seemed like a good idea to SCRUB my face. I also knew that SA and BP were both acne medications, so if i used both of them.. layering them over each other it would have to work better.
I wanted my acne GONERIGHTNOW, so i figured the higher percentage of BP the better. Whoops. I hate(d) my face, so I didn't have any problems slapping it around or tearing it up.
Who knew gentile was the way?
So this is my regimen:
morning and evening..
wash with cetaphil
finger of CSR BP gel
cetaphil moisturizer
morning and evening..
wash with cetaphil
finger of CSR BP gel
cetaphil moisturizer
orginally i was using the OTS BP, but i quickly ordered the CSR gel when i realized how much more economical it was. $5.99/.75 an ounce is kind of harsh. besides, i like the CSR gel much better
pictures coming soon!
) Anyway, my face started get a little dry one morning but i continued using...the next day my face was TERRIBLE...like sandpaper. Long story short, if you start drying out use that stuff in moderation until you get used to it if there are any adverse effects.
im not really sure what i can do about that, i tried to position my face at all times so i would only have to deal with minimal contact. lol. i actually said "are you going to shave this soon??! it's going to irratate my face and make me break out!!" 
