I know exactly how you feel. I’ve been living, barely, for the past five years with your same feelings of hopelessness. And I have frequently asked myself the question: When will this end? Or more recently: Will this ever end?
And the reason this whole thing is so hard is because our insecurity, our skin, is out there for the whole world to see. And no matter how hard we try to cover it up, we know it’s still there and that, in and of itself eats us alive. We become consumed with insecurity, depression, obsession. We become desperate. We become a shell of the person we once were…
If any of this sounds like you, I ask for you to please read on. I don’t have a magic facial recipe, drug, or diet that will cure your skin problems, but I know of a remedy that will heal your broken soul. It’s the only thing that has kept me afloat during this heart-breaking journey to clear skin. And if you’re like me, you’re having a hard time finding a remedy to help you, so why not give this one a shot?
I call the road to clear skin a journey because I haven’t arrived yet. The dermatologist told me I would have by now, as she probably have told you once before. And if she hasn't, she probably has told you when you’ll arrive at the exit ramp towards smooth, clear skin. “Twelve weeks,” she said to me.
The problem with this mindset is that we create a deadline. We begin to tell our body when it’s going to stop freaking out on us. But more importantly, we tell God when we want things to be done. The journey to clear skin is a process, it doesn't happen overnight; sometimes it doesn't even happen in twelve weeks. For some people, acne seems to be a malicious cycle that teases them with clear skin only to take it away again. But sometimes, we learn the most through our deepest struggles. God has taught me to rely on him and look at His standard of beauty through this process. I mean that’s what acne is, a process. It takes time to heal. And when my acne didn't heal in the twelve weeks, I became discouraged. Until I heard Pastor Steven Furtick of Elevation Church say “This may not be the year everything changes, but it’s an essential part of the process.” Looking back on these five years, things have not been easy. But I have become stronger. I began to become confident because there is a God who loves me for who I am, even if who I am is a mess.
You see God see’s you differently than you see you. Take mothers for instance. If a new mother has a really ugly baby, she is still going to love it because it is her child, her creation. God feels the same way about us. With all our insecurities, with all our “flaws” he still loves us. That is what I find life-changing.
It took me a while to figure this whole thing out. Mostly because I couldn't understand how God loves us more than anyone else. But then it hit me. God loves me when I’m annoying. God loves me when I make a mistake. God loves me when I can’t fit into that beautiful dress. God loves me when I don’t have makeup on. God loves me even though I hate myself. God still loves me. There is nothing you could do, say, or change to make God love you less. And if God accepts you, who cares what everyone else thinks? It’s not about what other people say about you, who cares about their opinions, they are just as flawed as we are, but about what our Father in heaven says. The flawless one loves us. And what more could we ask for?
All we see is the present; how hurt and ugly we are. But God sees our future, and what a beautiful creation we are.
If there is one thing I am sure about through all this, it’s that God is good. He wouldn't give me acne to punish me, but to showcase His strength and confidence through me. We always fear the opinions of others. We think if she/he really saw me, she/he would never accept me. But God already has accepted you and accepts you exactly how you are.
Don’t look any less upon yourself because you have acne. This is just your struggle to shine through.