The four actives I had yesterday have been reduced to one today. However, it's a really big nasty one, the likes of which I haven't had in awhile. Also, the other ones did leave a mark, not surprisingly. I'm not gonna lie, I am extremely depressed today walking around with this huge papule on my chin. It really hurts too. I've been putting medication on it throughout the day today so far. Ideally I hope it's gone tomorrow, but if not I really hope it's gone by Saturday because I have a concert to go to. i just wish I could fast forward in time so that I have clear skin. I know it will probably take another month though before all the marks fade.
I really wish I didn't have such an obsessive compulsive type personality. Perfection is really important to me. Any time I don't look perfect, I get really angry with myself which I know isn't healthy. I try really hard to work out every day and keep my body in shape. I don't think my diet is that bad and besides smoking, I don't have that many bad habits. I take care of myself. I don't understand why acne has affected me. Just associating the word acne with myself makes me feel sick. I feel absolutely gross and disgusting for ever even suffering from it. The psychological effect will probably last forever and I don't think my friends and family will ever forget how much I suffered because of it. I just wish they would all forget and remember me when I looked my best. I don't wanna be remembered as the girl who used to have acne.