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Uggg Blackheads

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ok so my moisturizer is working great. I’m not flaky anymore. i use it after every shower but it is too heavy for under make up but that's ok. i gently rinse with cool water just to lessen the shine.

however, the damage is done.

because of all the flaking blackheads are showing up all over like crazy. the deep ones on the cheeks that take months to go away. They just sit there torturing me. i can feel them in the shower but they barely show up in the mirror. LEAVE THEM ALONE. it's so hard. I picked one out the other day with little damage but still...i shouldn’t do that at all. b/c one pick leads to another and another until i realized what i have just done. ARRRRGGGG.

my anxiety is through the roof because i'm going to visit the in-laws. i should be happy about a vacation in FL not terrified of what i will look like to them. I hate being out of my comfort zone (aka, my house, my shower, my mirror, my lighting and my routine). i know it sounds crazy and ocd like and i do go to counseling. but it's a slow road.

I'm waiting for my blackhead pads to come in the mail. i stopped using them b/c they were too irritating, but now that i have found a great moisturizer i'm hoping they will help again. they worked in the past for the blackheads....crossing my fingers they work again.

pray that i dont gouge out my face. i have to just let my body take care of itself. breath! your family loves you no matter what you look like right! focus on that!

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