This is the first day I refused to leave my house due to my skin. There are only a few white heads, but they are like noticeable so I decided not to go. I was upset when I woke up this morning. I was looking at my face, and when of the whiteheads started oozing right before my eyes. I took a square of tissue and soaked up the pus (Sorry for being so explicit) and then it was just a red lump.
A few others popped while I was sleeping, but they are white heads again, but not as big. I hope they fuck off. I don't care!! I'm not stopping my regimen.
I didn't splash my face last night with water for the first time. I've decided I'm going to go as many days as possible without wetting my skin. This is so hard though!!! I had a shower to wash my hair, and the water pressure on my shower head is pretty intense so water splashes onto my skin and soap gets on my forehead no matter how far I hold my head back to prevent it!
I concluded that its probably better to rinse my skin for 5 seconds with freezing cold water then to let the shampoo and conditioner sit on my skin forever. So thats what I did. My skin didn't look any different, and I let it air dry so I didn't rub off any oils. I think thats okay.
Anyway, my face looks fifty times better than it did when I woke up. There was redness when I woke up, and now it all just sort of blends into my skin.
I'm supposed to go shopping with my mom, but I don't want her to see my skin. I don't know why... she's seen worse on me before. She just gets so upset when I'm upset. I need her to be strong for me so I can get through this. She's worried about the health of my skin, and my emotional health as well. But I'm set on proving myself that I was right about this. I KNOW THIS IS GOING TO WORK, I just have to get through the rough patches.
To be honest, I can already see my skin improving in places, besides the white heads. My forehead is improving, and the skin isn't so clogged anymore. Same with my cheeks! They are starting to look smoother. And my skin is moisturized, naturally This is the number one best thing about this.
I'm going to go walk around the sea wall today here in Vancouver, if the sun comes out. I'm hoping a little vitamin D will perk up my mood!
OH, Happy Halloween! First halloween I haven't gone out in YEARS! Whatever, I'd rather stay in and watch scary movies anyway.
P.S.: Some Positive Affirmations: I love my skin. I am beautiful inside and out. I am healthy inside and out. I love myself, my life, my family, and I am very blessed and lucky. I am always right.
P.S.S.: Writing in this blog makes me feel better, so I think I'm going to do it everyday.