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Epic Fail

So cold turkey didn't work out well for me...long story short I felt a massive cyst coming up right in the middle of my forehead yesterday and got so frustrated (but also knew picking it would end up in a huge mess) that I ended up picking the rest of my forehead to shreds. BAD TIMES sad.png

It felt like the universe was trying to screw me over the minute I decided I wasn't going to pick, I think the universe is a fan of irony. Ok so I know it was terrible to pick 5 other small unnoticeable spots, but then again, amazingly the cyst (touch wood) has gone down :S this rarely ever happens - all I can think is the icing technique actually worked!()

Also, because I was already icing the cyst, I was holding it over the just-picked areas too so now only 1 is really noticeable - although it's nothing in comparison to the unicorn-like bump I was expecting from the cyst so I'm feeling quite positive about it. The thing is I know I shouldn't have done it, but I'm also glad that I left the cyst alone - I just wish I hadn't felt the need to pick the other stuff!

I woke up today feeling so worried about looking in the mirror and luckily only 2 of the 5 had small whiteheads which washed off anyway. I THINK I may be ok - normally if I pick closed comedones and get the root out they only need 1 day of concealer which I'm praying for at this point! I'm not out of the woods yet because those whiteheads might fill back up again but frankly I'll take it considering the cyst looks like it's gone.

I feel so ashamed though - I'm not going to lie, I still get the same satisfaction and stress relief from picking and it makes me feel like a total freak sad.png why can't I find some other form of escape?! I know that it was frustration from the cyst that made me pick the other stuff but why can't I get rid of the frustration some other way?! I guess if I manage to answer that question it will near-cure me!

I'm considering meditation techniques because it might calm me down long enough to avoid the compulsion...who knows, but I do know that cold turkey is for people with a lot more willpower than me!

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whomp whomp.

when you get the urge to pick at your spots, do you think you could find something else to keep yourself busy like cleaning, running, just some other activity where your mind will be taken away from your spots?

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yeah, technically that should work, but yesterday I was supposed to do some housework as soon as I got home but started picking instead :( I think for me it might be less about distracting myself and more about calming down because I get really bad anxiety and compulsion that I feel like I absolutely need to pick and I can't get rid of it until I going to try some form of meditation instead, will see how it goes!

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The only honest advice I can give you is that you need aggressive antibiotic treatment. When you treat the infection and prevent new pimples your picking problem will go away. I also recommend finding room in your regimen for benzaclin or duac. Personally, I use benzaclin in generic form and it works wonders. For antibiotics I recommend amoxil and keflex exclusively. I had acne for 20 years and have tried every antibiotic available. Minocycline, doxycycline, erythromycin, tetracycline and sulfanomides (allergic to that). Check out my blog to see before and after pics. I wouldn't lie to you. The medications I listed work!

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hey, you're probably right but I can't take antibiotics because I'm on birth my acne is only mild but I make it moderate - if I could stop picking I don't think I'd have to medicate and I'd be ok with just mild stuff...thanks for the advice though, glad to see your skin cleared :)

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