So I can't tell if the new regimen is actually working or if I'm just imagining things! It's way too early to decide either way yet but I'm feeling a little more optimistic than usual so I'm quite happy to go along with it even if it is just the placebo effect. In terms of breakouts (touch wood) I've had one very insignificant-not worth picking spot and had an already-formed clogged pore dry up which I scratched off and then upon inspection saw the little plug which I managed to GENTLY squeeze out.
Another thing, I know that my skin is VERY oily which means I can almost put anything on it (BP included) without any dryness, so it seems that whilst Head and Shoulders is really drying for others it is just making my skin less oily...wehhey the only problem with this new routine is I started using 2 new products at the same time so I can't actually attribute any results to either product, silly girl! But if the combination works then I don't mind that at all!
I'm in a pretty good mood on the whole...admittedly all the time my skin is ok I'm never in a bad mood and the depression is just one picking session away but overall I'm feeling quite chirpy, which is always good for me to avoid picking on the first place! Maybe it's because I played netball outside last night - fresh air and exercise is never a bad thing right...even though it rained the whole time and I was drenched through it felt quite liberating running around in the pouring rain!
Also, at the minute I'm waiting for a few smallish scabs to flake off so I've been thinking about when they do come off and the instant difference in mood. I was also reading on the forum a thread about what everyone is going to do when they're finally clear and it got me to thinking about the fact that those scabs are subconsciously holding me back, when they fall off I feel instantly ready to take on the world. So it really frustrated me because I shouldn't let my skin control my life, I can't (to an extent) control how my skin behaves and yet I let it sit in the driver's seat.
Now I feel like (fingers crossed) even if my skin does get better, I feel so disappointed in myself for letting so many opportunities pass me by just because of my skin. Anyone or anything else doesn't rely upon me having good skin so why did I let it hinder me all those times?! Sometimes I feel like it's a never-ending battle, even when EVENTUALLY my skin clears I know that like most I'll just move on to worrying about other insecurities. I feel guilty that I've stopped myself from doing things I could do and wanted to do when there are others that are physically unable to.
Therefore I am going to try to hold my head up high even when I'm breaking out, go out and enjoy myself even if I'm worried about others judging me and try and remember that whilst acne is a horrible thing to deal with, it could be MUCH worse and be grateful for the good things and amazing people that I have in my life!