So I've been reflecting a little bit more on how it is that I've managed to make it more than two weeks at this point (!) without picking, squeezing, scratching, or otherwise disturbing my face's irregularities. And I think if I had to pick just one thing that has been the most critical to my "success" (I have so far overcome picking, but not the urge to pick) it has been making not picking my face virtually the number one priority in my life. I know that sounds a little bit crazy, but hear me out.
I decided, really and truly, that I was absolutely done picking my face. Period, end of story, never again. And I decided that I would do absolutely whatever it took to stop picking my face. I wasn't sure exactly what that meant at the time. (Saying "whatever it takes" is kind of like writing yourself a blank check. You aren't sure what it's going to cost, though you might have some idea, but regardless, you're willing to pay it.)
So here's what it meant, at least for me: it meant giving myself permission to do whatever it was that I wanted, if only it meant that I wasn't going to pick my face. Here's how it went: I reached up, skimmed my face, and suddenly felt it: that little lump, bump, kernel, thing that didn't belong in my skin. I got that rush of anxiety, of oh god, ANOTHER ONE. In the before times, this would have been the precursor to making an immediate beeline for the mirror, and doing whatever I could to dig that thing out.
But this time, of course, I had promised myself that I would do "whatever it takes" not to pick. So in that key moment, how did I decide not to pick? How did I overcome the overwhelming compulsion to get that foreign, disgusting, awful thing out of my face? By reminding myself of my promise, and then by delivering.
"If you choose not to pick," I told myself in that moment, "you can have anything you want."
And then I thought, "Anything?"
So I made the choice. I treated myself to the other random thing that sounded good at that moment: the new nail polish "Taboo" by Chanel. Instead of picking at my face I bought myself Chanel nail polish online. This was fun for me, because I had never, ever bought Chanel nail polish before. Just drugstore stuff. I just like looking at fancy nail polishes on blogs.
And you know what? It worked.
And now, two weeks later, I am now the (proud?) owner of FIVE bottles. Of Chanel. Nail polish.
I know at some point nail polish might get old, but it got me through two weeks. And then there's Chanel eyeshadow palettes, and lipsticks, and mascaras...
So here's the bottom line: I have clear skin. Worth every penny. (And my short, stubby nails look pretty amazing, too.)