First, on the positive side: I've been 99.999% successful in not picking at my face. And I throw the less-than-100% in there because I removed a tiny bit of dead skin from a healing spot. I'm not perfect. But I'm trying my best. And at the end of the day, I guess that's all I can do.
It's hard for me to explain in words how difficult this has been. In some ways, it's actually been easy for the last couple of days. I've been busy with life, and for good reason: I have a major test tomorrow. But studying is just a distraction from the bigger, murkier pot of hate and disgust for my face that dominates my thoughts. Interestingly, I think at this point given the clarity of my skin, my acne is essentially "all in my head." I don't know what other people see when they look at me, but I see a damaged, disgusting person. Not just a damaged face: a damaged entire whole person.
I'm not sure what to do from there. Is it the compulsion to pick that makes me feel like I'm disgusting and horrible? Or do I pick because I feel disgusting and horrible to begin with?