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No More Picking!

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Ive been really good lately... I used to shower every night and run strait to the mirror to pop all those nasty zits that were more easily pop-able because of the hot water from the shower. For the past couple of days (and thats alot for me!) I shower and glance towards the mirror and walk right out of the bathroom so as not to be tempted. I find that it works a little better for my face that i dont irritate all the other garbage around my cheeks by popping just one pimple that bothers me. So, for now, no popping! and i have a huge oozing zit on my cheek surrounded by little ones that im so tempted to pop but i am being so good! i just really want to clear up and not have scars again and I know that by not popping I will more likely not have to wait longer for the marks to fade...

Update:

Still broken out all over my cheeks. my right cheek (the cheek ive been experimenting on with clearsil face wash) has surprisingly flattened! granted its still spotted and red all over, but it definitely is alittle flatter then last week. Only one week left on my first month of birth control. Hoping that by next month at this time ill be alittle happier...

I had the tiniest tang of hope this morning when putting on my makeup that its going to be okay and get better soon... I hope that i keep thinking this way- it feels alittle better then that gut wrenching feeling in your stomach telling you you look like a monster.


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yah I like to think of that feeling as self love. Even if you see bad skin, you can't shake the feeling that you love just one bit of yourself even when your mind is surrounded by bad energy. Then when you lose that last bit of hope, you contemplate suicide, and the strange complex cycle with no pattern starts all over again. And then you can't stop the feeling that your climbing up a landslide.

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