I've been using acne.org for a while but am finally joining! i'm sorry if this entry is sooo long, i don't even care if no one reads this but i just have a lot to say and get off my chest because i can't really talk about this to anyone. So my acne story started about a year or so ago really...
I had a few spouts of acne in high school, NOTHING major at all just some manageable pimples here and there, always had fairly larger pores w/ some blackheads, didn't even think twice about it. I was on birth control (apri) starting in high school (not for acne) up until last year (Dec 2010) when my acne started, i went off of it because i was sick of taking pills and am hoping to have kids in the next couple years. well literally 1 week after I went off the pill, my face EXPLODED, cysts, several bright red pustules, and white heads primarily on my cheeks and some chin, i didn't know what the heck happened so i related it to coming off birth control w/ hormone shifts and maybe stress of graduating college. but the pimples continued and of course i had to pop and pick them because whenever i had a pimple before i would pop it and then it would go away, no issues. well NOW i am seriously regretting ever touching them because i have several dark brown acne marks on my cheeks that are barely fading, i feel like i'll have them forever
well anyway, after i realized this acne was not going away, i tried all OTC and then pro-activ (had worked on my skin before) and nothing works obviously. i was very discouraged because all these things had worked before to manage my skin so I finally made an apt w/ the derm which of course took 2 months, where i was still breaking out w/ terrible awful red pustules and whiteheads. this was an extra awful time because i just passed by RN boards and got a new job, so here i am having to interact w/ my patients and doctors and feeling so self conscious, all i could think about was my skin and it was really affecting me.
so i went to the derm (march 2011), she gave me minocycline 100mg x2months and tretinoin 0.5%, i stopped mino after about 2 weeks because it made me sick and i was like great even if this does clear me up once i come off of it what is stopping the acne from coming back?? i liked the tretinoin, it did give me a small IB, but really nothing i wasn't dealing w/ before, and i was hopeful it would fade these brown acne marks. well tret didn't get rid of my marks but ? maybe faded them but it did clear up my cheeks pretty well, but somehow caused major acne on my chin and around my mouth and made my skin super super oily, so i went back to the derm (may 2011) and she offered my accutane, i declined because i didn't think my acne was that bad (wish i had just gone on it then) and wanted to give tretinoin some more time because i kept reading these boards and others saying that it can take months to see results so i did and it kept my cheeks clear but still breaking out terribly on my chin and then my FOREHEAD w/ small flesh colored/whitehead bumps and i had NEVER had any issues w/ my forehead. what really bothered me the most (along w/ red zits) was the OILY OILY skin because my makeup wouldn't stay on and i felt so gross on my face 5H after washing and i'm working 12H shifts and out of the house for 16H a day and can't go around in work w/o makeup i'm just not confident enough because EVERYONE at work clearly has PERFECT skin (well i'm sure not everyone but i feels that way).
its so hard because i'll have really good days or weeks and then terrible terrible weeks and i tried to track it against my period but really no relation. oh and i've been on the same birth control this whole time because i kept trying to give it a chance because i was clear on it before and i thought my body had to adjust. i did go to a different derm at one point to see if they could do anything about he acne marks because my derm doesn't do any peels or anything in her office and they offered me smoothbeam and said i should probably try a different birth control, but i was so scared to try a different birth control and still am because of the misery this last year has caused me. i never want to go out, i've basically alienated myself from my friends unless i'm having a good skin day, which i can never tell until the day of so i cancel plans on the time. i'm just so embarrassed and self conscious because i'm 23 and i'm not in high school anymore. all my friends have amazing skin (of course they prob dont' think so), but compared to mine it's flawless. i use to be out w/ friends and family all the time having the best time. but now i'm like a hermit. now all i can think about is sweating would ruin my makeup and make me break out, ill get shiny by this hour, ect. I AM OBSESSED w/ how many hours i wash my face, my makeup on, when i can wash my face again, it's disgusting. literally all i think about is my skin and its ruining my life. luckily i have my husband who is the best support i can ever think of, he never says anything about my face because he said he doesn't notice unless i bring it up and then he listens. but i feel like he might be getting sick of me not wanting to go out and do things and its not fair for him.
i forgot to mention that i tried the DKR regimen sept-nov2011 but couldn't handle all the BP, my face was wayyyyyyyyy to dry then it would get oily still in 5H and i couldn't handle it even with a tone of moisturizer. i couldn't laugh and i always had flakes, didn't look good in makeup. i also couldn't do the 10-12H because of work. so it didn't work me for me but i also couldn't follow it exactly as laid out either. i still use the facewash from dan though because its doesn't have any medication and i'm trying to go for simple now. i do use the BP on my forehead, which works pretty good for those small bumps.
anyway that was an emotional rant, so back to the derm i went and she said give spiro 50mg 2x/day and put me on differin (to replace tret b/c it was making me oily) (Dec 2011). i didn't want spiro because again like minocycline i didn't want to have to take a pill forever and you can get pregnant on it too. anyways this is the regimen i'm currently on and i know its only been 2 months but my face is breaking out the worst it's ever been in a while. so i went off my birth control 1 month ago jan 2011 to see if thats the problem (i really hope it is) but i just can't take it anymore, i need my life back so i made an apt today w/ my derm, i can't get it until march 13th because my derm moved offices and doesn't except my insurance until then (sooooooo annoying because she wanted to see me the end of this month feb. anyway i'm gonna ask for accutane because i really am sick of trying all this new stuff and just giving it all this time for no results. you can say im impatient but after this year, could possibly be the worst year of my life, i really need results. i need to be happy with my husband and get my friends back on tract, i miss life. until then we'll see how it goes, i still have some hope because i have to, even if i get accutane it won't be until aprilish because of the pregnancy test, its terrible for girls to get accutane. uggh.
ok thanks for reading if you did. if not it felt so good anyway to get everything out that i've been talking to myself about for the last year.