I have had BAD acne for almost 5 years. I am so terribly sick of it. In the beginning I genuinely thought I could go to the drugstore, find a magic potion and just be rid of the blemishes. I have come to realize that the very long isle FILLED with various brands of bullshit don't do anything if your acne is both hormonal and persistent. I have also come to realize that I cannot and should not depend on these crap products. They won't clear my skin, bring back my self esteem, or make me feel beautiful. These products were and are a lie. Our acne is an industry. This being said, this battle has also put me in the doctor's office. I have tried retin A, Tactuo, and several other crap things that also didn't work. This then led me to trying natural products, supplements, drinking apple cider vinegar, making stupid face masks in my kitchen, rubbing Ice on a spot till my face turned numb, etc. Although some things were great (DIM) nothing really ever had a lasting impact on my skin. My skin has just continued to sprout pimples on a daily basis. The strongest foundation I could find STILL CAN'T COVER THEM. I have also tried things like changing my diet. I have gone gluten free, I have gone dairy free, I have gone free of sugar. Still my acne persists. So I started thinking about the things I thought I could avoid. I have now started thinking about birth control- not desperate enough to consider accutane- but I feel that birth control is the inevitable and scary drug I need to try just to end the curiosity of "what if that works?" It is not my frustration with all the other things I have tried that has lead me to this- rather it is just the pimples on my face. They are a constant reminder that I cannot and will not be pretty enough. I dread waking up, seeing people, going out, getting "dolled up" because I feel it is fruitless, no matter what I do they are there. Even if they hide beneath foundation they are still there to taunt and torment me when I wash my face. These persistent pimples, accompanied by scars and hyperpigmentation are the indication that me and my face can no longer endure more of this. I have deep scars on my cheeks. I never thought things would get this bad. I just thought I would be like all the other ladies on my dad's side of the family- zitty for a while, pretty for the rest of their lives. But this optimism has died with the discovery of my PCOS. I am going to schedule an appointment with my doctor and get a prescription for the pill and be done with this headache, heartache, face ache, and destruction of my self worth.
I truly wish it never got this bad. But I know that I can no longer let it get worse.
Wish me luck,