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Here's my skin's horror story

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I haven't been on for a while now because i had the impression that my acne troubles were making a full remission. I was pretty damn wrong. For a while i was walking around all confident and what not, didn't really worry about my face because i didn't think anything was wrong with it. I would look in the mirror and not really be perfectly satisfied with how i looked but it was alot better than what it used to be. And then, i made the mistake of looking closely at my face in the light with a mirror. Horrible. So many little bumps and holes that look to be icepick scars and closed comedones. I think one of the worst mistakes i ever made was agree to get a microdermabrassion treatment and chemical peel directly after. I believe that is what destroyed my skin. when i look at my skin in the light at a backwards angle i can see what looks to be little shreds and holes covering my lower face and cheeks, which makes for an over all dreadful appearence. My derm knows she destroyed my skin but will sit there with a smile and tell me i look wonderful. I'm really worried my skin will never return to normal and it has a real fucked up look to it. sorry to be so pesamistic, but its hard to be happy when you know you are ugly and can't talk to people because all they probally see is my acne and scars due to the extreme vanity of todays society and culture. I was thinking of going on accutane to prevent any new scars from developing but I am worried it will do more harm than good. Any input would be greatly appreciated.

so I went to my dermatologist and she took a look at me and said the obvious: STOP TOUCHING, PICKING POPPING. I gotta tell ya, that's probally the worst part. It seems that humans inherently want to pick and pop no matter how many professionals give sound advice and provide facts about the damage you cause by doing so. Long story short: MY SKIN IS CLEARING UP :DDD I was prescribed a retinol 150 cream. The stuff cost me $80 !! With a price tag like that it better be good, right? Well I experienced a shit load of peeling and I still am getting some dry side effects and peeling when I apply it in the evening but it is making the pustules that were previously destroying my face stop appearing. I am so unbelievably happy that I've been able to reduce the 10 or so whiteheads on my face at a time to 1 to zero. But my complexion still looks like hell due to the relentless peeling so I avoid going out at night. But during the day all I have to do is put some moisturizer(I like actinage soothing gel) and it even helps fade the red marks from past pimples!! I'm keeping my fingers crossed as to the maintenance of my skin but I have high hopes for this retinol stuff. It feels like im typing this for nothing because i'm getting like zero feedback but idc, I just need to convey my emotions. When my phone is charged I will post progress pics. I'm very pale so my face kind looked like the surface of the moon. lol

So I Made The Decision

Well I just woke up and looked in the mirror. I seem to have developed a new pustule on my cheek along with more pus filling the papsules so now they are visible whiteheads. I also have loads of red marks all over my jaws and a deep cyst that plays peek a boo with me between the eyes. Every single one of my pores seems to be clogged and my face just seems like a ticking time bomb for new inflamed bumps to appear. Then again it's been on this downward spiral for about a month now. I feel so alone. I choose to not hang out with any of my friends anymore because I don't want them to see the drastic change and see the look on their faces when they see mine. Im crying while I type this. Over all Ive got like 9 or 10 white heads that are still growing on my face. My dilemma is that I believe my state insurance ends tomorrow as it said on the news and I cannot get a ride to the docs office to get a prescription for Accutane. If I was to wait to go tomorrow then I would have to pay like 1000 dollars as apposed I went today and would have to pay 15. My family seems to have given up on the prospect of helping me because my skin seems like a lost cause. And it just feels like im typing this for nothing but idc maybe someone will see it and give me genuine advice.

At The Tipping Point

Hello all! I'm starting this blog because I believe I've reached a new low with my overall skin condition. Let's start with my skin history. I had perfect skin up until the seventh grade when I would get the odd pimple here and there. But it was just one pimple or two. Nothing that I would get too crazy about. Then around 11th grade I noticed a lot of new closed comedones. I was still a "newbie" in the acne game and I was just confused as to what these little devils were. They weren't blatently obvious like some of the more inflamed pus filled monsters that would soon inhabit my face down the line. I started off using Oxy face wash which seemed to work great! It helped with the inflamed pimple which were only occasional but did nothing for the comedonal acne. Little did I know that using this cleanser filled with harsh preservatives would set me up for the most crushing failure I have ever experienced. I felt like this wasn't effective and I tried a whole array of different cleansers that seemed to do little to nothing. Then I went to proactive. Proactive worked incredibly at first. It made my face glow and best of all: NO INFLAMED PIMPLES. When I graduated highschool my acne seemed to take a turn for the worse and completely disregarded my applications of proactive. I started getting new types of hideous lesions. Numerous pustules and papsules ALL AT THE SAME TIME. And when I would pop one(recently I haven't been popping) another would start to form. I was getting these zits at an alarmingly fast pace. They take so long to heal and when they do, a raised red mark is left for god knows how long........okay so that's when I decided to visit a dermatologist. She gave me a chemical peel called actinage along with microdermabrasion. The initial results were fantastic! its like I was granted a new face! :DD Then I started to peel and quickly after the peeling was over, a new round of pimples showed up, followed by another and then another, leaving me with what my former friends call a "pizza face". I used to be a good looking chap. With thick flowing hair and bright green eyes and the ladies loved me. Mostly, my face wasn't a complete wreck. Acne has taken my innocence. It has brought me to my knees and continued to beat me until I have no fight left in me. ACNE HAS MENTALLY DESTROYED ME. So I have come upon a last little glimmer of hope and the multiple glowing reviews for Accutane have convinced me. I'm sorry this has been such a long post but I had to properly convey my feelings of anguish and complete hopelessness. Please if you read this leave a comment. I don't care what it says I just don't want to feel alone anymore. Thanks!

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