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Accutane chronicles

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Went to the derm again last Monday, going to pick up my third prescription today. I'm happy with my results so far, it's been a long road to where I'm at now, but through all of my side effects it's been worth it. My hair is thinning out I think, but it's not noticeable, the dryness of course, bouts of mild eczema on my hands, back and joint pain, vision trouble (after an eight hour shift of looking at a computer screen I become extremely near sighted.) headaches, not being able to concentrate....the emotional side affects are the worst though. Some days I just don't want to get out of bed. But by me saying its all worth it, should be very telling of how my acne affected my life so severely that I'm willing to put up with all of these things. If you are thinking of accutane, and don't feel like these (possibly permanent) side effects are worth it, then accutane is not for u. Here's some more pictures of my progress :) feedback much appreciated.

Day 41?

I'm trying to be patient, but geeze it's hard some days. It's just a constant :):(:):( type deal and it is disheartening some days. Today is a "good" day, but I'm not going to think for a second that tomorrow won't be bad again.

I've been feeling pretty down, and I think it's definetly the accutane. My mind has just been foggy. I can't consent rate at all, and I get upset by small things. It could also be the weather here too though. It's been a long cold winter. Either way, I am going to push through and finish this thing. I know it will be worth it, no matter how I feel right now.

I tried the cortizone cream, and it cleared up my cysts pretty well! Try it out. Also, the flakiness is so bad, especially where I'm healing. That's getting old :/. Other than that, I'm just taking it day by day. Not much else I can do. blogentry-372253-0-31838100-1393177275_tblogentry-372253-0-55447100-1393177235_t

Wow this really is a roller coaster ride! Had a huge sucker pop up the night I posted my last entry. And another big cyst on my chin. But, all in all I can't complain. It's still NOTHING compared to how it was but again, the scarring!!! Should I try miderma? I'm using bio oil but idk if I'm seeing results. I've almost bike down and done a chemical peel (5%) but went with my better judgement on that. Should I be seeing more improvement by now? My face really is smooth and that I am grateful for. I just wish the patches of zit farm I had on my cheeks per-accutane would just heal already! The scarring makes it look like I still have acne there. which I do but to a much lesser degree, just some blackheads that haven't purged. I'm on day 34 and just refilled yesterday. Clavaris was on back order so I had to get amnesteem. Hopefully this doesn't make any difference unless its for the better lol. If this causes another ib I might just rip my face of and be done with it -_- let me know if you think I am improving please, I thrive on your comments and really makes me feel like I have a support system lol. Just please be honest and don't sugarcoat!

Ok, I think I really see improvement now. The angry red scarring is calming down and I don't have ANY new pimples :)))) only two teeny tiny stubborn cysts. About 1/3 the size of a pea. My face feels so smooth when I run the back of my hand across my cheek. A month ago it was like a gravel road and so painful. I hope I'm not jinxing myself, and I PRAY it stays clear so that the marks can fade. So happy about this. Also, I don't have to use the heavy makeup anymore. I was using color stay 24 hr by reckon and it's like cake batter lol. Now I'm using Mary Kay medium coverage... Which is still very thick, but I could never have gotten away with just that a week ago. I can't wait until I don't have to wear any at all. That's the stuff of dreams that people that don't have acne don't understand. It would feel so liberating to walk outside and feel the air and the sun on my bare skin (that might sound a lil over the top but I'm serious.) maybe if I had a tan I could do that already, but nope I'm stuck being white as snow for a while. But that's ok, maybe in a couple of months I will have that porcelain milky white complexion which is just as attractive lol. Has anyone ever used cortizone cream for red marks??? Oh and I did something I shouldn't have

Just got back from my one month follow up. I asked if he could bump me up to 60 mg, but he said no :( .... I guess my maximum dose is 55. I've never heard of this, but i am pretty small. 97lbs 4'11. But anyway, he did say he sees improvement. Which, I can't help but take with a grain of salt because he has so many patients how's he going to remember my face? Lol. I guess it does look better, I just wish my scarring would improve. Here's pictures. Opinions please!

I've been kind of waiting to post a new entry. Mainly to avoid redundancy, and actually show some progress. I still don't really feel like I've seen many changes. My cheeks are still flakey and I still have the same stubborn spots. I picked again and that was not a good decision. My skin just heals so weird now! Scabs just slough off like a sheet and underneath is just a patch of raw skin. That process just repeats itself. Idk how else to explain it.

I think I'm starting to get a little disappointed with my results so far. I know it takes time but I was really wanting it to heal quickly so that I could start treating my scars, but it's not where I want it to be. I've had some stubborn cysts, I'm going to ask for cortisone or something to get rid of them. And my jawline has been breaking out, I've never really had a problem with that. Ill post pictures later. Let me know if you see a deference, bc I don't :/

I think *hope* this is my ib. I so desparately want clear skin. With makeup on I feel 'ok'. Without it, I feel hard to look at. I just want to know what it feels like to "feel pretty." Acne has such a major impact on my life. I just want clear skin :/. L this is what I look like without the makeup, anything but beautiful.

Hmmmm I pick too much. My jawline has a couple of decent sized bumps. But my cheeks are still healing. Maybe if I could keep my hands off of my face it would already be healed. My skin is so dry. My eyes burn, and I just feel very blah today. Like emotionless. But I highly doubt it's the accutane. I'm just sleepy, I did take two sleep aids last night. Maybe I just never woke up. Also noticed that where I cut the palm of my hand last night, there is no scab it's still an open slice. Maybe slowing down my healing? Not sure.

I'm so impatient, I want results and I want to like what I see when I look in the mirror. Here's a pic if me where u can kind of see the dryness, but I do have makeup on and I know it looks like shit. *hang in there self*

I think my skin is finally turning a corner. What's it take to get some comments here? Lol. Last night my boyfriend was gone to drill, so I didn't wear makeup all day which felt nice. I didn't moisturize either, just to see if that would help it heal quicker. And I think it did, wierd I know but my face didnt have a single new pimple this morning and seems to be on the mend. I home it stays like this. I'm going to attach some photos please give me some feedback!

I Hate My Face

Ok, I should have started this a long time ago. This entry will kind of be a quick backlog of everything.

I am 25, I have two kids aged 3 and one. I used to have an ok completion in highschool. Ok enough not to have a panic attack if someone saw me without makeup. I'm not really even sure when it started, but I am so self conscious about my skin now that it really does have a huge impact on my life. I would get so much more joy out of simple things that people with clear skin don't even think about. I FREAK OUT if my boyfriend comes on the bathroom and I don't have makeup on, I genuinely get mad, and he doesn't know why bc i don't think he's ever seen me without makeup. every day things, like sitting down at a table, I have to consider the lighting, which side of my face is worse, if my makeup is ok etc. I go to the bathroom CONSTANTLY just to check it. I avoid natural light, or any harsh light for that matter. On bad days I literally keep my head down. I hate feeling like this. I want to feel confident and secure without makeup in all situations.

I have tried it all. Proactive, skin Id, every face wash, cream, vitamin, prescription topicals, antibiotics, you name it ive tried it.

I never knew about accutane really, until someone I knew tried taking it. I'm not sure how long she was on it, but she went psycho on it and was taken off. (She was psycho before and IMHO I think she chose to show off her crazy side.) anyway, even after that I didn't give accutane much thought. I didn't think I had insurance so I never thought that was an option for me.

Turns out I'm still on my dads insurance until I turn 26 in July. Just enough time for a course of accutane!!!! Yay!!!!

I really hope this works. I just want to feel pretty, or even normal. I'm on my second week, and I'm not sure if its working yet or not. My skin is dryyyyyyyy omg so dry. It's hard to wear makeup and looks like shit, but it makes me feel better to wear it so I will. My lips are chapped, my eyes burn sometimes, and I get minor headaches, but other than that I think my body is handling it pretty well thus far. I'm using bio oil and a moisturizing face wash (ill have to look when I get home.) and some vitamin e oil I picked up ony lunch hour out of desperation.

Im on day 12 and when I looked in the mirror my face was a dry flakey mess. So I wiped off my makeup, put on the vitamin e oil. And put my makeup back on on my car during my lunch hour. Oh, what I would give not to have to do this or worry about what my skin looks like constantly. Trying to keep telling myself it will be all better in a month or two, God I hope I'm right.

I'm putting two pictures of what it looks like without makeup after a shower. Please comment with how you think it looks. I hide behind my makeup, so I don't have anyone who really knows how I'm feeling or what it looks like without it. Btw, I am on 20mg twice a day and 97lbs.blogentry-372253-0-21688600-1390590309_tblogentry-372253-0-85332100-1390590496_t