As the title suggests, I've been experiencing a huge increase in cystic acne. Normally, my acne is non-cystic, but still inflamatory (it turns bright red and almost always comes to a head). Over the years, I've typically had one cystic pimple maybe every month or every other month. Meanwhile, I always have dozens of red "active" pimples, some brighter than others, and loads of post-acne marks. I suppose I don't really have any true scars--just post-inflammatory marks. My acne is so constant and relentless that the post-inflammatory marks are never-ending. I know that right now I really need to get the pimples from surfacing in the first place, but I dream of the day when I can really focus on fading my post-inflammatory marks
I deleted all of the pictures that show my whole face. I got to thinking how mortified I would be if someone I knew came across my profile on here. I don't talk to ANYONE about my acne--not even my boyfriend, whom I've known for 8 years and lived with for almost 3. Sure, he sees me without makeup, but he doesn't say anything about my acne and neither do I. He had pretty bad acne when I first met him in high school and he went on Accutane and was seriously cured. He never had acne again after that and has perfect skin now, which makes it difficult for me as I feel so ugly when I look at his perfect complexion.
I spend a lot of time researching about the experiences that other people have had with Accutane. I'm staying extremely positive (unusual for me), because I have seen what happens when people start to lose it
I can't lose it. I won't let myself. I am thinking back to days when my entire face was covered in spots. There was more redness than there was my actual skin color. I hope the Accutane doesn't bring it back to that. I hope that this cystic acne I'm having is my initial breakout and that after this it will be smooth sailing. It could happen, right?
I'm having a really hard time with keeping my hands off of my face. Once I get home after work, I find myself in the mirror for twenty minutes extracting things left and right, until my face is bright red and angry. I know that this just makes it worse, but I can't help it. Yesterday, I willed myself not to pick and, instead, I gave myself a little spa day. Boy, did it pay off!!! I was so tempted to squeeze this cyst, but I didn't.. and I woke up this morning to it being only about half the size that it was Here's what I did:
Got into a nice hot bath (but not too hot)
Created a little exfoliating mixture from my Origins Checks and Balances & Clinique Exfoliating Scrub
Used this mixture to gently exfoliate my face & jawline for about a minute, and rinsed (duh)
While my pores were wide open, I caked on some Origins Clear Improvement Active Charcoal Mask (LOVE THIS STUFF)
Wait for it to dry, then rinse off.
Globbed the Proactiv Refining Mask on all of my active pimples and left that for about an hour
I mixed some Acne.org AHA with Jojoba Oil, rubbed that all over and went to bed