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Phew...

Dun da da duuun! Popped my first Claravis pill tonight!! (I've been calling it Clavaris, lol OOPS!) I'm in pretty high hopes now! Lately, all I've been able to think about is my acne and the scars its left behind. No, really. Its hard for me to even focus on my schoolwork. Ridiculous, I know neutral.gif

But, now its just an uphill battle, hopefully! So excited!

I'm gonna post every ten days, since for some reason they give out Claravis in ten day packets. I got three, so here's to my first 30 days!!

Currently: Taking 20 mg/day of Claravis in the morning, on an empty stomach (going to take one in the morning from now on, so I can make sure my stomach is empty)

Using Cetaphil soap and moisturizer for dry, sensitive skin.

Apple cider vinegar & water for hyper pigmentation.

Skin is dry, but that's normal for me. Hopefully its not possible for it to get much drier!

A few pimples I woke up with this morning on either cheek, nothing too big.. two on each side of my face. Cysts I was suffering with have almost completely gone away now. Several hyper pigmentation marks on cheeks and a few on forehead.

Oh, I've been meaning to post something about this.. I have small bumps on me chin that are only viewable when skin is stretched. They look like pores that are really stopped up, but nothing works to make them go away? I haven't noticed this problem on anyone else, but I've had them for awhile. They don't really bother me because you can't see them unless you look REALLY close or I stretch my skin in that area. I can't really find anything about them online either? They look like really small whiteheads but they don't pop. MY skin would do weird crap like that? Anyone know what it is?

With my newfound confidence, I am hoping to be happier and more social from now on!! Pray for no IB stage for me smile.png but, I'm expecting it if it decides to show up!!

Look forward to talking with you all soon & here's to clear skin!!

A x

So Frustrated!

Hi everybody! So, I've finished my month of birth control. Yay! But.. no accutane yet.

I got all my blood work done, the pregnancy test, etc. (which really sucked bc I've had a kidney infection & I've been stuck with all kinds of needles the past week :() and my derm cleared me on iPledge Friday. So, I got my prescription and iPledge ID card, all excited and what not only to go to the nearest CVS to find that they don't have Clavaris 20 mg in stock. So, I call around and NOBODY has it in stock within like a 30 mile range of me. Finally, I find a Walgreens in a bigger city who says they have it. I drive a good 45 minutes to go and get it filled and.... my insurance has to pre-authorize the medication. SO FRUSTRATING! After chasing this stuff down, I've yet again been denied! And you know what's the crazy part? When I called my insurance just to make sure the ball got rolling so I'd have it before my 7 days was up, they said that the reason it has to be pre-authorized is because there's so much abuse of medicine. I'd like someone to enlighten me on how there'd be any way someone would abuse accutane? The process of actually getting cleared to get it is ridiculous! And who would go through all that trouble unless they really needed it?? Another thing, I picked up some pain medicine when I had the KI, and IT didn't have to be pre-authorized. Yet, medications that are at risk of being "abused' have to be?? This makes no sense to me.

But anyway, my seven days runs out Thursday so I'll hopefully start taking by then & I'll keep this blog updated.

On the bright side, the birth control has cleared my face up a lot :) the worst part about my skin, I"ve come to realize, is the hyperpigmentation marks left behind from OLD acne. Sucks, but I'm going to look into getting that taken care of soon. Probably after my Accutane trial, since my skin will be so sensitive.

Oh, and now I'm using Cetaphil wash and moizturizer. Works a charm! Hoping it will help to control the dryness.

Hope everybody has a good weekend!

I've been soooo busy, but I told myself I'd always make time to track my progress (even though technically there isn't any lol...). SO!

I went to the dermatologist last Tuesday, he said he felt I was a good candidate for Accutane. So, I've been taking birth control for a week now... just three more weeks until my journey officially begins!! I am so excited (I even broke out in happy tears)- even though I know it could be awhile before I start seeing any results. But I'm VERY hopeful!!!

I'm going to track my progress weekly here so stay tuned!!

Anyway, Christmas hasn't been so bad... I just knew it'd be terrible since this is the first time my family has all seen me since my face became a planet magnet. But actually it was just like any other holiday. Me and my boyfriend were supposed to be visiting his family and skiing this weekend.. thankfully the weather isn't going to be suitable for that, so we're staying here! Not that I don't love traveling and visiting family and skiing (especially skiing- if you've never been you should definitely go!) but as all you fellow acne sufferers know.. the cold weather/wind/overcast-yet-extremely-bright skies make acne appear SO much worse. As bad as this sounds, I just couldn't take that embarrassment :(

I hope you all had a merry christmas!! Ttys :)

I've always suffered with light acne (sometimes moderate, when the hormones get to raging)- but about two months ago halfway through my first semester of college (great timing, right?) I got a bad breakout on one side of my mouth.. within a week both of my cheeks were covered in acne. Since then, it seems like the acne just doesn't go away. If the pimple (or cyst :'() heals, another one comes up right in its place! I am so frustrated with this that I just had to write it down or I might of gone insane. I just don't know what brought this on! I've always been a religious face-washer, I take good care of my skin. But it looks HORRIBLE.

Anyways, what brought this on was- last night I went out to a party with my boyfriend and all of our friends were there. Now the only reason I don't stay huddled up in my own version of the batcave aka my room, is because I have make up. Now I know its not good for your skin to wear it, and I don't unless I'm going out to be around people besides my mom and dad (lol)- but I buy the expensive non comedogenic stuff & I just LOVE make up. It is my saving grace. To all you fellas out there, I seriously respect you because I couldn't leave my house without wearing any. Back to what I was saying.. I've always been really social and (really not trying to sound conceited) a decent looking girl! When me and my boyfriend got home, I took my make up off and just completely had a meltdown. I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND. The cysts are dark red and inflamed, and it doesn't help the fact that I have TWO on one cheek and one on the other. Not to mention smaller pimples, and even some of those somehow turn dark red- but they're not big enough or painful enough to be a cyst. Its like all the capillaries in my cheeks are busted and blood is just streaming around right under my skin. And it completely FREAKING BLOWS.

Beside the fact that both of my cheeks have been taken over by acne (bloody, itchy, disgusting, scabby, dry, flaky, terrible acne at that)- the real kicker was the fact that one of my cysts is starting to heal & there is a HOLE in the side of my face. Yep. So now I have a permanent scar. JOY. I started looking and theres yet another one. I've never had any scarring except the dark marks that acne leave behind that eventually fade away.. so this was a total bummer.

I don't talk to anyone about this really.. Not my boyfriend, friends, parents.. I guess its like when I'm wearing make up I can just act like the problem isn't there.. but when I accidentally touch my face I feel it. I did tell my parents I really wanted to see a dermatologist (I haven't before because they're the "if you dont touch your face & wash it the way you're supposed to- it will clear up on its own" type people) so I have an appointment Tuesday. I really hope I can get something that works without having to go through trial and error too long.. because I just can't handle this acne anymore. Its taking a huge toll on the way I feel about myself, my self esteem is pretty much shot. I'm hoping since my acne severity has gotten worse I can try Accutane. But really I'd settle for anything that will work.

If anyone is reading this, and you feel depressed about your acne.. you are not alone. I've never felt so unconfident in my life- and that's just not me. Gonna go back to the bat cave and sulk and soak this face with a hot rag..

After going to the derm I may use this blog to keep up with my progress. Pictures (ugh) and all that jazz. Thanks for reading, if you did! Lets get rid of this acne.

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