• entries
  • comments
  • views

About this blog

Read as I rant about my unfair life with acne

Entries in this blog

No More Bc!

By jessikur55,


So I've been off of BC for about a month now and.... the results aren't too bad. At first I got a lot off break outs on my chest and neck but now that I'm on my period they seemed to have STOPPED. what.... Hopefully if this keeps up I don't have to go back on BC. That ruined my life in more ways than one. For example, this is my first month in 6 MONTHS without a damn yeast infection. I'm also not as hormonal as I used to be while I was on BC. so yeah all is good! I do have a large zit on my face but its starting to go away on its own.

Hello everyone :)

So in the past few days,I've summed up the courage to change my skin routine a bit.

Starting with Evening Primrose Oil. I heard its good for acne and for the skin so I said "WHY NOT?!". It was like $6 for a bottle of 75 soft gel capsules at Walmart and I'll be taking one a day with a meal. Hopefully I can get rid of Trinessa soon. Them side effects are the death of me.

Secondly, I ordered 20% salicylic acid from amazon, also known as the chemical peel. I read all the reviews and did a lot of research into it and I think I'm ready. A small bottle cost me $22 with shipping and it shall be here by wednesday. I'm planning on trying it out on my nose to get rid of the blackheads I have and to see how my skin reacts to it since I'm pretty sensitive. To give you an idea of how sensitive I am, I had gotten my eyebrows waxed a week before my spring semester of school started and I had SCARS for weeks because my skin reacted really badly to the wax. I had like four eyebrows for weeks >.> never again.

Wish me luck! If anyone has tried in home chemical peels, please let me know how that went for you! I'm still kinda scared of doing it and I need a little push!

So yeah, birth control was the answer to my acne problems. Along with other problems. Mostly acne tho ;)

Since I'm on my period and I've been terrible with my eating habits, I did break out a bit on the right side of my face last week. Which got some rude comments from my douche bag coworker. >.> I've been drinking a TON of water instead of sugary drinks and I limit my poor eating habits too.

My hyperpigmentation and ice pick scars still persist. I'm deathly afraid of trying anything new. I'd like to try collagen capsules but they're super expensive. I'm also considering other herbal pills to eventually replace the birth control. The side effects of birth control are getting on my nerves like the whole weight gain thing. I honestly don't even eat THAT much. >.> but i do crave horrible foods.

so yeah. if any of you have any suggestions as to how to get rid of scarring, comment down below :) I'd like to hear your thoughts. And ladies please tell me i'M NOT THE ONLY one struggling with birth control!

So I'm considering doing a chemical peel(s) to get rid of my ice pick scars/other scars on my face. Has anyone had them and what were your results? This is something I really want to do. I think its the final step... I hardly break out and if I do they're REALLY small and along my hairline where no one could see them :)

I have been reading up on the peels but they look really painful and intense. I'm kinda scared of fucking my face up more than what it already is.

So yeah let me know of your experiences:) anything helps!

I have three words....

Ice pick scars. I have them now. Merp. Shit keeps getting worse, doesn't it? Now I have to invest in fixing my face.... *sigh* I do have a boyfriend now though. At least one person finds me attractive like this >.>

I found my confidence recently. Acne was finally not a problem. I was smiling and happy and going on dates with wonderful guys. Life was good.

Then today one of my close friends saw me drinking a shake and asked why. I replied "I want to look good for the beauty pageant I'm doing next year!" He simply replied "What are you going to do about your acne? Girls with acne never win."

And in that moment, I lost my confidence. I couldn't find it anymore. I just put my head down and walked away. Ugly girls don't win. I'm ugly. This acne will never leave. He's right.

So I'm back to square one. Considering on canceling my date tomorrow and just staying in and watching TV. Better than being out with a guy who might think less of me because of my acne.

So December 2013 I walzed into my uncoopertive doctor's office with a totally non-acne related problem. Just as my doctor was about to leave me she looked at me and said "Have you ever done anything about your acne?" Of course I go into a 10 minute detailed list of allllll the things I have tried since 2009. She merely looked at me, ignored everything I said, and said "Have you tried Benzoyl Peroxide?" Of course it ticked me off a bit because I mentioned it threeeeeee times in my list of medications and all three times it sucked. She merely shrugged and went to open the door. Then I said "THERE'S ONE THING I HAVEN'T TRIED AND WOULD LIKE TO TRY!" She looked confused and I told her I wanted to go on birth control. My family is totally against it but I just wanted to try one more thing before going on an angry rant and asking for accutane. So she gave me TriNessa.

It is March 14, 2014. The resuslts are MAGICAL. MAGICALLLLL I TELL YOU (i SHALL POST PHOTOS SOON). I hardly break out and if I do its because I wake up late sometimes and go to school with my face all dirty. >.> My face is almost clear and with the help of Herbalife's new Skin regime, my face looks better than it has in ages. I came across some photos from high school and quite frankly I treared up a bit. Those pictures HURT. But nothing feels better than touching my face and not having the Sierra Nevada growing on my face.

One side effect of BC is weight gain, duh. My family has approached me about this and I simply look at them and say "I'd rather be fat with clear skin, than skinny with a mountain range growing on my face." I mean, I'm working on losing weight but that's another problem for another site. ahaha.

So yeah, just wanted to update you all on my wonderful results with birth control :D Sorry for the long rant!

"1,000 Zits"

By jessikur55,

You would imagine that someone who has gone through acne as bad as mine would understand and comprehend how difficult and soul-crushing it is. I was so wrong.

Today, I was on FaceTime with my cousin when she brought up a conversation between her and one of my ex-boyfriends. I had dated this guy for a month, but he was in college and I was in high school so we were in totally different phases of our lives so we broke up. She told me he messaged her and brought me up in the conversation. He had really bad acne in high school, and I got it my senior year of high school. He was worse than I was and still has ice pick scars. He told her that karma is great because I got "1, 000 zits and no boyfriend." He even joked and said "Is she dating anyone because with her face no one should date her". I, of course, being the angry little person I am, attacked him for what he said about my skin and he retalliated by saying "I know how you feel!!!!". If he really knew how I felt, he wouldn't have said a thing. Just as I was feeling better about things, here I am at rock bottom, crying, because I'm ugly.

Sorry for the long rant, I just don't have many friends who understand what I feel.

I had my period like two weeks ago, and I didn't break out as much as I usually do. I was really happy about that! But now, I'm breaking out all over again and it really sucks. I have a huge zit under my eye and I'm starting to notice break outs ON MY ARMS. I usally had a few zits on my upper arms but not its spreading farther down and they itch. :( I don't know whats going on anymore. I wish it could go away.

So I'm on the Herbalife/MultiVitamin regime and I was using

-MultiVitamin bar soap

-MultiVitamin Exfoliator

-MultiVitamin Clarifying Mask

-MultiVitamin Toner (Normal to Oily Skin)

-MultiVitamin Contouring Cream (Night)

I saw no change in my skin and was about to quit

Then I saw that they had a daytime moistuizer and a moistuizing mask

I added those two on to my regime. ONE week has gone by and the results are magicallllllllllllllllll


all gone by Thursday morning ;)

My period should be here any day now and NO NEW BREAK OUTS

just the regular small ones and black heads no biggie.

I am breaking out alot on my neck and jawline :( nothing too noticable I hope

I need to stop eating out so much. Maybe that's what's causing this. ugh. But Taco Bell is so yummy.

People look at me and think that I'm careless and dirty because I have acne. No one knows what I've been through with acne. It's the worst thing that's ever happened to me. If I could, I would get rid of it. I can only dream of having clear skin.

I wish guys would notice me. They see my acne, not the person I am. I haven't been in a relationship in two years. My ex boyfriend never loved me. It's like this acne defines me. It doesn't. But people just can't see past it.

I didn't choose the acne life, it chose me. I would give anything to get rid of acne. People make fun of me, guys say they can't date a girl with acne, and there are seriously no doctors that want to help me. People tell me to go on accutane. As if I'm already not dying to have it. I would do anything to finally take accutane. All the doctors in my area say they'll help me, but in the end they don't and they keep giving me Doxycycline and Minocycline. Fuck that. Give me something new, I say, and they always say no.

I QUIT DOXYCYCLINE. For personal feminine reasons. If you're a girl you know exactly what side effect of Doxy I'm talking about. Lets just say it was pretty damn painful. I'm planning to go back on it again eventually when my feminine problem goes away and I'm no longer paranoid.

I also started using Garnier Frutis BB Cream. I love that stuff. Absolutely love it. I wear it to the gym, where I met THE HANDSOMEST GUY EVER! I was working out and I was only wearing BB cream. It doesn't have heavy coverage, so he could see my crap ass face. He asked for my number and we've been talking every day since. I have high self esteem.... for now ;D

I quit using Benzoyl Peroxide/Clyndamycin. I use it now and then around my menstration.

I love love love Tretnoin right now. It is my savior. Nothing more amazing has been created for my damn face, except for Accutain of course. I go days without anything on my face. Those are my best days.

Right now the BB Cream is my one love, my hero, my amazing amazing favortiest product ever. If you don't know what it does, look it up. My scars are fading away. Oh thank you sweet baby Jesus for BB Cream. I love it. ♥

I've noticed a huge difference In my skin. I don't know if it's the Doxycycline or the benzoyl peroxide. When I wash my skin it's actually SOFT! I was mind blown. I'm starting to work out again (Yay Gym). I noticed less acne when I used to work out in high school. I just wear the benzaclin and a tinted moIsturizer:) sorry if this blog has a lot of grammar errors; I'm using my iPod at the gym.

My Regime Consists of:

Doxycycline 100MG twice a day

A mixture of BP and Clyndamycin

Night time cream: Tretnoin (Retna-A)

Cleanser: Olay Sesitive Skin

Moisturizer: Pond's/ELF Tintied Moisturizer

Diet: I've gone a week without Milk. I work in a sandwich shop that provides free sammiches, sooo I can't stay away from cheese.

I hate my face. HATE IT. MY lips are dry. The area around my lips/chin is dry. My eye area is dry. Last night I opted out from using Tretnoin and this morning I didn't use BP/Clyndamycin. I just moisturized. My face. Is. So. Damn. Dry. So is my throat. I'm always thirsty and licking my lips. Which isn't good because I talk to tons of people everyday because of my job. Which I feel shitty about at the moment. ;(

I'm not breaking out as much. The bumps on my chin became white heads while I was working, so I came home to thier wonderful suprise visit. FUUUUUUUU ;( 22 more days to go with this crap. LET IT BE OVER ALREADY. GIVE ME ACCUTANE. GIVE ME A CLEAR FACE!

Yeah. I'm starting to hate this. Ziana and Tretnoin didn't dry out my skin as bad as it is now. I applied my regular make up routine to go to work and my EYE AREA BURNED. It hurt so bad. It stung to put on primer. I hate this already. I put on some moisturizer instead of Tretnoin on my eye lids. Maybe they'll be better tomorrow?

I have two huge zits on my chin. They hurt so much :P But with make up they don't hurt as much. Nor do I see them :D

Other than those two zits, I seee SOMEWHAT of a difference. Not enough though. I need to see my face clear by next month or I'm going on Accutane. I'm sick of this crap.

I did find bareMinerals on Ebay for fifteen bucks! :D That made my day :D Thank you internet!

So the day is almost over. Well not really. I woke up late and I had to go somewhere so I washed my face and mixed Benzoyl Peroxide and Clyndamycin together and slathered that crap on my face. Then I waited for it to dry before I applied moisturizer and tinted moisturizer then my BareMinerals Make up. As soon as I got in the car, I felt my face BURN. I have a feeling this isn't gonna end well. (I hate you Col, give me my accutane!)

I did notice when I woke up that the postules around my cheeks were SMALLER. WOAH. I was like "OH MY GAH!" But then I looked at my face after washing it and decided I was still ugly.

I didn't eat breakfast, so I took my first Doxycycline pill after lunch. MMMMM, Seafood♥

I have to give up lactose again, according to the instructions on the pills. NOT excited for that. I love milk, damn it.

I'm gonna look into Accutane some more. I really want it.

I saw Dr. Col today. I wanted to shove him off a cliff. He is terrible. He gave me BenzaClin and Doxycyline for a month and I get to see his stupid face next month. I hella out smarted him. I laughed. xD He thought Ziana was Benzoyl and Clindamycin and I said No its not. Then he took out his phone and I was right. Take that! :D

So I asked about accutane. He said we would talk about it next month. He says I have to enroll in the iPledge program and start birth control. I was like what?! Okay lets do it! Then he said no. ;( He did keep asking me if I was sexually active. Then he asked me how old I was. I was a little freaked out o.O Bro, calm your ass down. Lol. Next time I go I'm taking my mommy. Or Daddy. Haha.

So my new Regime is:

Day: BenzaClin + Doxycyline

Night: Tretnoin +Doxycyline

I would update my signature now, but I gotta put on make up so I could go to work. Bye! :D

So tomorrow is the big day. I haven't seen Dr. Col in like two years. I FUCKING HATE HIM. He had an intern look at my face and he gave me a random medication, which I think was Doxycycline and it didn't even work. He didn' t even care. Then a month later he had me go in for no reason. After that I told my primary doctor to shove her recomendation up her fucking ass because I didn't wanna see Dr. Col. He is the worst doctor I have EVER seen. My last Dermatologist (Which I can't see because I can't afford a plane ticket to Mexico) actually helped me. He LOOKED AT MY FACE D:

I got a plan for tomorrow. I'm gonna shove a list of ever medication I have ever taken in Dr. Col's caca face and ask him for a perscription for accutane so I could be on my way. Yes, I know the risks. I hate my face. I just wanna be fucking pretty. I want to fit in. I hate my face. I hate my acne. I just wanna be pretty like my sisters and my cousins. I'm the only one with acne. At work, I'm the only one with acne. At school, I'm the only one with acne. Why can't I just take this magical pill already and fit in? My graduation pictures make me cry. I was so ugly.

Bring it, ACUTANE. I'm ready for you. MAKE ME PRETTY!

I wanna look like the girl in the picutre. That's me before my face became 3 dimentional.

I haven't came on this site since my last entree! I'm sorry!

Not much has changed. If anything my acne has gotten a bit worse. I still have the same regime. Nothing has changed. I started working out though! I noticed that when i work out, i break out less. Which is good, of course. But I have a job now, which stops me from having time to myself and coming on here.

I went to the doctor today. She perscribed me Epiduo. I don't like BP at all, which I know for a fact that Epiduo contains. I don't know when I'll get it since my pharmacy has to battle my insurance once again for me to get it for free. If not, I might have to pay 200 bucks for it. Which is an entire pay check for me.

I've noticed that I don't edit my photos as much as I used to. They're me again! Yay! But I still have scars and black heads and the occasional break outs. I've been breaking out on my chin, neck, and a bit around my cheeks. It bothers me so much. Well the attached photo is a kind of recent photo of me? I don't remember when I took it. It was back when I was a bit more happier about my acne. Now its all comming back.

I cried again. Which was something I thought I had stopped a while back. We'll see how it goes with Epiduo.

Oh, I forgot to mention. I am going back to the dermatologist that I went to about.... two years ago. He really sucked. My appointment is in April. Omg. I'm going to look around and see if I could find one near me. I hate that guy. He just walked in, looked at me, and walked out. Fu** that guy.

Hello fellow users,

My name is Jessica, but call me Jessikur, I insist.

All throughout high school, I had mild acne. I never really paid attention to it. I washed my face, put on mild acne medications and went on with my life. It wasn't until my Senior year that the horror began. I had a serious boyfriend, I was stressed about school and drama, and all that good stuff. My face.... became the Sierra Mountain Range. I broke out horribly around my chin and cheeks. My forehead too. It was my worst nightmare. I'd cry a lot, pick, and I was a mess.

This past summer I went on a trip to Mexico. It was my worst nightmare. Everywhere I went people stopped me and asked me what happened to my face. Children's comments hurt the most because they told the truth. I then visited a very popular Dermatologist. He said "En tres meses, vas a estrenar una cara nueva!" "In three months, you'll have a new face!". I was thrilled. Finally someone is helping me.

Sure enough, a week later, everything was changing. My face felt great, I came back to the states and my mother was shocked. Its been 14 weeks since the day I saw the dermatologist, and my life has turned around. I wear less make up, my face has cleared up, and my selfesteem is a bit higher.

But i still have one problem..... scars.

This is where I end this blog entree....