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My Acne Regimen Experience

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I went one week with only using BP at night and this past week I alternated between using it twice a day and once a day.  I found after reducing BP for a while the excessive flakiness and dryness I was experiencing subsided and my skin soaked up the moisterizer immediately after drying from cleansing.  Over time though my skin was not as ready to soak in moisterizer, as the dryness caused from BP usage over the years subsided.  Now I feel as though its unnecessary to skip BP usage in the morning, though I was enjoying being ready 10-15 minutes faster than before.  Also...two weeks later after reducing BP like that, I am indeed breaking out.  I have zits all over my forehead which is kind of new for me, even back when I had significant amounts of acne my forehead was never a trouble spot.  I will pay attention and try to avoid touching it, perhaps I developed a habit of sleeping with my arm on my head or something.  I will remember how quickly skipping BP in the morning helped fix my excessive flaking and dryness and do that once and a while, but for now its time to go back to loyal regimen user mode and clear up this forehead of mine [img]http:////dn4iqhjvtt39e.cloudfront.net/messageboard//public/style_emoticons/default/crazy.gif[/img]
So for this week I only used BP at night.  I was consistent except for Friday night where I skipped moisterizing, but that's not going to effect my results that badly.  The first morning that I left the treatment out took some mental effort because the regimen has become SUCH a habit for me, but I absolutely loved it.  It was like drinking water for the first time after a long day where you just couldn't find any.  I couldn't fathom how I was about to put BP on such a dry canvas. Skipping this step was glorious.  This continued for most of the week.  Now I have faint "acne-on-the-horizon" that may or may not become full fledged pimples, but in the past I've found this goes away if I use BP consistently.  I used BP again this morning due to that and I could definately tell reducing it to once a day for a week like that helped my flakiness--there was none.  At all!  Okay, maybe two flakes stuck in my hair MAYBE.  However, SO MUCH BETTER.  SO SO SO MUCH BETTER.  Also? I was able to get ready in 15-30 minutes in the morning instead of 40.  Crazy, right?

My conclusion is that my skin is not ready to go once a day on the BP acne-wise, but letting it take a vacation now and then is the key to reducing flake levels. 

[b]New Experiment[/b]
Now I'm going to try alternating between using BP twice a day and once a day, paying attention to my skin and its level of tightness and flakiness.  My hope is that I can gradually reduce my need for the regimen or find the bare minimum I need to keep acne down until I grow out of it (which hopefully DOES HAPPEN at some point....)

I've decided that I'm going to try reducing the BP I use to once a day at night time.  I will still cleanse and moisterize in the morning like usual but I am tired of having flaky skin.  It's the most persistent around my hairline but sometimes effects other areas of my face as well. It's been four years and I haven't really figured it out.  I exfoliate now and then which isn't good for maintaining clear skin but I don't know what else to do.  Besides, I'm 19 now and hopefully my skin has calmed down a bit.  I will start this today and see if I break out in two weeks or not. If not and the flakiness does get better, well then my treatment is going to last twice as long and I will have no fear.  ALSO, for those of you who like to swim, if you have dry skin issues like me, try to take some jojoba oil with you.  I guess these are just little issues we need to accept for the fortune of clear skin. [img]http:////dn4iqhjvtt39e.cloudfront.net/messageboard//public/style_emoticons/default/neutral.gif[/img]
[b]Where My Skin is at Now[/b]
After all the time I've been using the Regimen, I think I've come to know it pretty well. My skin is clear and I can almost predict my breakouts based on how well I've been following the rules Dan gives on this site. In fact, its not only clear, I dare say its healthy and beautiful. Dark spots from my previously moderate-severe acne-d face have long since faded. Whenever I breakout now the pimples are small and barely noticeable. I actually have a papule underneath my eye right now, I think it looks pretty cute for some reason haha. I also have a bit of neck acne, but you know, the amount that I have now is so small in comparison to what I had in junior high and my freshmen year of highschool. (I'm in college now by the way, crazy, I know...I started the regimen second semester of my sophomore year of high school). PLUS, the REASON why I have even this small amount of acne is because of my tendency to skip moisuterizing at night, the occasional day where I wake up late/am really tired at night and decide to skip the regimen all together, and my tendency to rush through applying treatment and moisterizer and thus end up using more pressure on my skin than is necessary (if you've read up on the rules, you'd know that skin irritation causes acne!).

[b]Advantages of the Regimen[/b]
There is a huge advantage to using the Regimen that I'll just go ahead and get out of the way. IT WORKS. Okay, now of course there are exceptions since the human race differs genetically and environmentally from person to person, but I'd say as far as all the things I tried freshmen year (including a DERMATOLOGIST) the Regimen was the thing I stuck with. Part of that is because it was the only skin care I did consistently enough to make it work, but with Dan's advice and a helpful board right on the site that sells the product, I had all skincare information I needed to understand what I needed to do in order for it to actually work. Which brings me to another point. A huge part of the success of the Regimen for me was being able to access the resources on this site. It felt so much more human and realistic to me than getting a product through my dermologist from some company somewhere.

[b]Why I Avoided Accutane and Chose the Regimen Instead[/b]
Now, Accutane has a lot of support and blogs dedicated to people who chose to use it, so it has some of the same advantages as the Regimen. However, it just wasn't for me. All of the forms my dad and I had to go through, knowing that I'd have to take a BLOOD TEST every month, and having to take home an "I Pledge" DVD when I chose abstinence as my form of birth control, sent me flying to the internet for more answers. I read about all the possible side effects (including death by freakin' suicide) and was frightened by the thought of having to break out even MORE before my acne went away (The Regimen has an adjustment period too, but I think its shorter and less dramatic). Plus, I read somewhere that Accutane worked by basically permanently damaging your oil glands so they would stop clogging your pores. The thought of damaging my own skin just irked me the wrong way, and basically, the idea of taking accutane just felt WRONG to me, it made me feel all nervous and icky. So I chose to stick with topical treatments, and by the grace of the interent I found this site and discovered the information I needed. Whala! My long journey with the Regimen began.

[b]Disadvantages of the Regimen[/b]
1. You have to buy more when you run out. (AKA--not a PERMANENT solution)
2. The products tend to run out at different rates, at least for me, so you end up with left over whatever because something ran out sooner than the others (for me moisterizer tends to run out the quickest and cleanser lasts the longest.)
3. Its impossible to do the Regimen effectively if you're in a hurry (like you woke up late and have 10 minutes to get to class--better count on NOT doing the Regimen that morning!)
4. It comes off when you swim or shower, so you HAVE to shower either before you do it in the morning, or before you use it at night.
---I was on the swim team while using the regimen, and I put on jojoba oil after practice before I walked home sometimes, but to be honest my skin actually did not respond badly to this complication and my breakouts were not exaggerated, despite the fact the goggles frequently flipped over when I dived (swimteam newb) and thus caused skin irritation. My body acne cleared a bit too.
5. You have to factor it in when you go to camps, overnight class trips, etc. But after you've been using it for a while, skipping it for a couple days does NOT do that much harm (unless a small batch of pimples everywhere is absolutely horrible, which to me it isn't).

[b]Tips for Using the Regimen[/b]
For one thing,[i] actually read[/i] and [i]follow[/i] the procedures and rules Dan offers as free information. What I'm saying here simply adds to that information. Putting on treatment and moisterizer [i]mindfully [/i]really helps the action of not using excess pressure. As in keep your mind in the present, really pay attention to how it feels to glide these products over your skin. Practice [i]loving[/i] your skin. Imagine positive energy leaking out your fingertips as you take your time and breathe deeply. Its easy when going about everyday in a set routine to begin to rush through it, but think of this as a perfect opportunity to check in with an important part of your body. If you can feel love towards it even while its covered in acne (like if you're just starting) then all the power to you! Remember that this acne is not your enemy, it is simply biology. Its part of the screen that keeps your vulnerable inards safe, which is very important and worthy of appreciation.
Well its true. I, the ever so loyal user of the Regimen for about a year and a half, anti-dutifully skipped using the regimen after I got my wisdom teeth out. Good news is I probably saved some product because my face was so ridiculously swollen the first few days I would have had to use more of it than usual. MY TIP to any of you pre-teens or teens who haven't gotten their wisdom teeth out! Get them out EARLY. BEFORE they're an issue. During a long vacation so its not a stressor preferably. Also, follow all the directions as if God himself gave them to you. Overdramatic? Yes, but dry socket HUUUUURTS. Its a good opportunity though if any of you out there would like to practice meditation to reduce pain, however. I was reading about hypnosis and its actually good for pain, as in your body senses it, but it never reaches your conscious awareness so you don't actually "feel" it. ANYWAYS. I haven't had any serious breakouts now, after 2 weeks of the skipping process, but I did have a couple zits and some whiteheads. Nothing NEAR what I had before. Its kind of funny, I'm much less insecure about acne than I ever was. I'm just like "whatever" if I get a pimple or two. Why? Because its NOT an epidemic and I'm 16 still so its bound to happen!
Well anyways, theres my spheel on skin for the day. Now here's something else. I suddenly got a new ambition. To not let my friendships die! I went through a quite a long period of time where I sheltered myself from social contact. I don't know why. Its just like the thought of talking to someone immediately had this response in me emotionally...just a really uncomfortable one. I'd want to! For sure! I'd just shrink away from it. This is because a couple close friends of mine sort of withdrew from me...or I withdrew from them. Either or, it was like a "you did it first! no you did!" type mental battle. I felt like they caused me to react, and they felt like I caused them to react. Well anyways, I'm pretty good friends with one of them now, who I actually had the larger issue with, but the other girl is still being withdrawn. We met up coincidentally today and she didn't even look me in the eye, which I know she usually did to people she was mad at. I don't know why :\ I haven't done anything recently. I just keep screwing up. Gosh DANG IT. Its annoying because I love my friends and I'm really shy but really dependent on my other relationships with people. When I withdrew I totally caved in inside. Like my whole sense of being just shut down and I got really depressed. So I'm trying to recover some lost bonds by just being nice and pretending like everythings fine because I truly think it is, or at least should be. And if they don't respond the same way or ignore me, then so be it! Hopefully a nice gesture now will result in a nice response later. I've had ONE friend completely stop talking to me for good out of anger. I don't want that to happen again. Its so dumb. If people are really mad at each other or don't like each other, they should at least try to be on good terms. Small talk or saying hi in the hallways or even SMILING won't kill anybody! I know sometimes the offense is too great, like murdering a relative or stealing a boyfriend or whatever, btu if the offense was small and unintentional and they were just going through a bad few months or even a bad few days, they should be forgiven to the extent grudges are dropped. Funny thing is I've only noticed GIRLS talk crap and ignore each other. Why do we do this? I'm just going to stop now, and if anything hits me in the face, if I feel like my insides are going to melt with awkward sorrow, then so be it! I'm TIRED of feeling scared of people who I should be able to trust! We should all be able to trust each other! Even if we aren't best friends, we should be able to trust each other enough to be on good terms! And thats my rant for the day. The old me is making a come back. Yes, people were mad at me. If their reason was good or not, I'm not going to take the anger personally like I did. People get mad. They're human. If I don't respond badly, anger will fade. Its just an emotion after all.
I'M A SENIOR IN HIGH SCHOOL. Well its summer but technically I'm one since the old seniors graduated. Anyways, lets see, I started the regimen sometime in January 2010...the 13th I think, I remember being amused by it because I didn't notice I had started on such a controversial number. Well if that is the case I've been on the regimen for a year and four months and 17 days. Crazy I know! So for all you guys and gals out there thinking about trying the regimen, remember 3 months WILL pass....fairly quickly too. Three months is a pretty short period of time in comparison to everything else. Thats less than a school semester. Well anyways, my skin has been clear for so long I forgot what it was like to have acne.
Even with acne gone though, a new problem has arisen. I started AHA+ a couple nights ago again in an attempt to banish this incredible amount of flakiness I have. Its not enough to be a cosmetic issue, as in you can't really see it most of the time (later in the day it gets more prominent) but whenever I lay my head on my boyfriend's shoulder (yes I'm still with the same one from the last post) it leaves residue. He doesn't care thankfully but its still embarrassing! Gah. They don't come off easy when you try to brush them off either, and they're VERY visible, at least after you're told they're there. I'd rather have that issue then acne though. Hopefully my persistence in AHA+ as a nightly moisturizer and the use of jojoba oil will help exfoliate my skin. I was reluctant to start it as soon as I noticed the problem because the sunscreen I have (which I bought two bottles of..) makes all my flakes ball up and become very prominent (it was made for oily skin I believe), so I get to spend a lot of time using jojoba oil to try and make them come off.

I didn't include this before I don't think...but when I got a physical for track freshmen year and sophomore year there was one irregularity on it that kept me from having a perfect physical. What was it? ACNE. When I went in first semester junior year to get a physical for swimming, guess what? PERFECT. I officially had clear skin, or at least clear enough to where the doctor didn't note it as a prominent issue. WOOHOO! That was definitely a stepping stone. I do still remember the days when I thought it could never clear up. It CAN and it WILL if you are consistent in using the regimen. I almost went on Accutane, and although having to do a three step regimen is a chore and burden on occasion (like at camp when you don't have much time to get ready, or factoring it into life decisions like joining the army band (I wouldn't be able to take it to basic training)) its worth it in the long run. Especially since my back acne started clearing up even though I don't treat it, which means my acne phase may be over sooner than I think (16 going on 17).

Hopefully I check in more to this blog. If any of you have some questions about the regimen, I've been through various problems such as factoring in swimming and running, etc., so feel free to ask something in the comments. I've listed most of my major experiences in the blog too.


By TTPW4227,

Hello internet and company. Well I've been on the regimen now for...a long time. Junior year this year is absolutely crazy, so I haven't really had time or energy to come on and make a post. Thankfully its now winter break (yes I still have HW to do that I can't finish by the end, GAAH) so I do have the energy to write in this blog yet again! :redface:

So I visited my family in Texas recently. After being on the regimen for ALMOST a year, missing two applications (one on the flight there, and one on the flight back) really didn't hurt me. My family was thrilled my skin cleared up (though they wouldn't tell me directly, only my dad).
For the longest time I neglected to use sunscreen because what I had ran out, and I didn't want to ask my dad for money to get more. Recently I ordered TWO bottles of it (Paula Begoun 45+) so I am set to start using AHA+ again! I'll probably have to go through a purge again, but even when I do get acne it goes away fairly quickly and I don't even mind it anymore. Its so much better than it was. My acne is smaller and scarce, and usually can't even be seen from small distances.

As for swimming, if any of you were curious from my previous post, I did join the team and I finished the season! My first meet went really well because I was hyped up on this energy powder stuff (apparently it was loaded with caffiene and I didn't know), so when League came (junior varsity championships) I realized I was placed pretty high for what I could actually do. Swimming was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. Especially with all the academic challenges of junior year. I started off really good, but eventually lost momentum and just bided my time until the season was over. I did have more acne during that period but it cleared up just fine. And swimming didn't cause it, it was the stress of the sport with school that did (and my goggles which flipped everytime I dived for a while).

As for personally...my confidence has definitely skyrocketed. I felt mucho confident during swimming because my body was in shape, my BACK was clear too even though I don't wash or treat it, AND I had awesome visible skin (actually got compliments). I still have awesome skin for my face, but my back broke out again and I gained some weight. (not too much but enough to bug me..plus you know..the holidays..xD) so I NEEEEEEED to find a pool. Once my bronchitis clears up (yes I got it AGAIN...) I'll start exercising. Exercise helps soo much. Oh yeah and by the way, I got a boyfriend. A good one. So for any of you who are going through tough times, it ain't permanent unless you let it be! Here's my advice:
Even if you have horrible cystic acne, don't take that as an excuse to feel bad about yourself. Love yourself! Your skin will change, its organic matter. Weight is also a state of being, not permanent. Have patience. I give the regimen my superior (not really but whatever) stamp of APPROVAL, but even though my skin is clear I still struggle with personal issues (like the passing of my mom last july..), I still have to work really hard in school, and I still feel insecure now and then in my new relationship (and not just the one with the guy, but the one with myself). Then I remember that its probably all in my head. Remind yourself that you are beautiful. It doesn't take clear skin. It doesn't take fancy clothes. It takes a new perspective on life. Clear skin, clean teeth, clean hair, healthy weight, those are all matters of taking care of yourself. If you love yourself, you'll want to take care of your body for the right reasons. Thats my lecture for today! Good day/night everybody!
So I decided to go to a friend's meet today. (lets call her..Eliza) Eliza and her mom were very accommodating! Plenty of food (cheeze its! yum!) and exciting events. I loved the atmosphere of the crowd! how people would wait until their teammate's head arose from the current of water their own limbs had produced to shout "GO GO GO GO!", their voices carrying out past the coaches' tents into the swim center's parking lot.
And what's even more exciting, my friend's extra suit fit me. I was ecstatic! A little self conscious (I had not forgotten my upper thigh cellulite and pubic acne...lovely) but knew I wasn't going to let my flaws interfere with the opportunity to learn the strokes for swimming.
The first new stroke I learned was the breast stroke. Then after a couple hours (all the time I was in the suit) I learned backstroke (interesting..choked on water and ended up swimming diagonally somehow, but I got the idea eventually), and the butterfly (I felt like a porpoise! :surprised: A very majestic porpoise). We also blew out all our air in order to touch the bottom of the 12 ft pool (I had no idea it was 12 feet the first time I jumped in. After a moment of confusion I just swam back up and Eliza pointed at the number...XD I thought it would be like five feet or something.) but remnants of my bronchitis (yes it came back...dumb) made my ears swell until I thought they would pop. I was only a few inches from the bottom though so its like I touched it.
At some point during the time...a young man was lying outside the warm up pool, a small crowd of adults around him, including a coach. Apparently he had asthma (it looked like he was dead..not the typical wheezing you'd except) and people took him away. his eyes were distant...not like he was thinking, his face was too contorted for that...but like they were clear. Alive. But not really thinking. At all. Like his conscious mind gave up but his brain kept his body moving.

Anyways it was an eventful day.
And upon arriving home and changing I realized something.
I had a horrible sunburn. I had applied sunscreen...but I did it BEFORE I changed into the suit...and my T-shirt and knee length shorts covered a lot more area than the suit did. The acne on my right shoulder stands out very much now. But my dad's gf was very kind. She went and bought me aloe vera gel (100% and no dye). It made the burning go away.
Then I applied it on my face.
There was definitely burning. It was worse and it was TERRIBLE! At least twice as worse as the stinging of the moisturizer in your first month of the Regimen. I tried to ignore it. Then while attempting to shave my bikini line so I wouldn't be as self conscious when I tried swimming again tomorrow, it felt like any blood that rushed to my face while it was turned down burned it. Eventually I couldnt' take it anymore.
I cleaned up as much as I could in a few seconds, and ran to the other bathroom. I cleansed my face. Twice. (put on a lot of aloe vera before). Then I dunked my head in really cold water a few times, each time as long as I could before I needed to breathe. I felt sooo much better. Then I slathered jojoba oil on my face. (no way I was going to reapply treatment when my skin was so sensitive).

Also I noticed after swimming in the pool for a while my face always gets really dry! So when I got home around three I put on some jojoba oil. Then I did the regimen after showering, but then the whole aloe vera fiasco occured.

So most of the day its like I wasn't wearing treatment. But I'm willing to deal with a breakout...sure beats the burning...even if it is right when my band camp starts v.v

It does not matter how fancy schmancy your sunscreen is. You need to REAPPLY OFTEN. Especially when its really hot out. Like 107 degrees.
Aloe vera does NOT go well with the Regimen.
Chlorinated pools dry out the skin, so bring some jojoba oil with you or time it so you can do the regimen right afterwards.
Swimmers are freakin' awesome :cry:

And the funniest part? Twenty seven is my lucky number :pray:
Wow, haven't been on for a while. It had been taxing writing blog entries because my skin doesn't change much in just a day anymore. I've kind of gotten used to it. My dark spots are definitely disappearing though.
Something I've noticed,
I get these raised colorless bumps now and then on my face that don't seem to go away. I get them all over my shoulders too and its annoying. I might do some research to see what they are. They're usually the same size or bigger than other acne.
And in the right light I can see just how craggy the surface of my skin is on my cheeks now that everything has cleared up or is really close to clearing up. Its so sad :\
But yes, haven't gotten a whitehead in a while even though I have itched my face.
And after forgetting to take the BP to disneyland I DID breakout, it just took a while to surface. It didn't bother me much if at all though, I was proud of myself. I had them mostly on my nose. I think I was cool with it because I knew exactly why it happened and that it wouldn't be around for long :|
The best part about have good skin is that using the Regimen isn't bothersome like I thought it would be, its routine. Not using it just feels weird to me.
Oh yeah and I got my permit last tuesday. I had an appointment but only saw "tuesday" and didn't see the date was for the week after last tuesday and showed up. They gave me a normal ticket in sympathy and I got called up in like five minutes miraculously (my dad had estimated it would take 3 to 4 hours) Missed five questions but I had to miss 8 to fail so I passed!
My picture's going to suck butt though. I was real sick that day and didn't know they'd take my picture XDD
I know. {victory dance}
'ello everybody! So te letter next to j doesn't work now. Okay, ere's some interesting facts about my recent failures wit te Regimen.
I went to Disneyland on a band trip (woop! We played a concert tere)
And realized I ad left my treatment portion of te regimen at ome.
I felt sooo bad once I found tat out.
So I didn't use benzoyl peroxide for..four days. I still used cleanser and moisturizer toug.
I do ave a lot of small red irritated acne on my nose and probably more to come.
Also yesterday I forgot to put moisturizer on so my skin was very red and kind of burning te majority of te day ,ten I used AA+ tat nigt so my skin is pretty tigt today.
But yea.
As for life, I found out someone I kind of ad a crus on likes one of my closest friends and wanted to ask er out. Fortunately e's also good enoug friends wit me to ave been comfortable talking to me about it. (oter people were tere toug so we kind of ad to guess wat tey oter person was saying witout actually identifying te subject). I said it was a mistake (te girl e likes as been in a relationsip wit te first guy se likes since last december and teir friendsip goes back farter tan tat,) but e didn't want to know wy.
So yea. Basically I tougt e wasn't into relationsips so I never felt bad about us being simply friends, but now I realize e doesn't ask me out because e doesn't like me and teres noting more to it.
I was real bummed at first but I'm getting over it. Tere's still a cance e could like me but you know, tere's no point in wasting away over one person in igscool.
I'm actually triumpant becasue I felt pain over someone else besides my ex. (wo is still dating tat oter girl btw. I tink its going to be is longest relationsip yet)
So tis summer I migt take yoga or karate or someting in addition to training for a sport next year. (eiter swimming or cross country...posisbly migt wimp out of bot)
and opefully I'll write more enties. sORY if tis one was ard to read! My keyboard is orrible!
Sorry I've been so lazy! But I'm here to report I did reorder the regimen and my skin is doing splendid. Unfortunately I did get one big zit a bit under my eye again, but after one night with AHA+ the size was reduced. I'm actually glad I got it because I was able to see how much better my skin was! To think that acne used to be ALL OVER and they've been reduced to little black spots is pretty incredible.
Here's a progress picture of a bit over sixteen weeks on the regimen! Yep, reached the eight week mark twice! Booyah!
So I'm also going to try and be more proactive with my sunscreen by putting it on every day I go outside. I'm also going to use AHA+ every OTHER night instead of every night, it was the reason I was so dramatically flaky. And more good news! I now have in my possession acne.org jojoba oil (my j key works again! Hurray ^.^!). Its price is cheaper than the one I got from trader joes AND there's twice as many fluid ounces. Maybe it was a bit more expensive. I really don't remember but it was relatively similar in price with twice as much so either way thats awesome.
I've been in a pretty good mood today. Yesterday I took some of this pretty fabric I've had for some time out my closet and then I cut some of it off and wore it around my head today. It worked real well as a headband but not so well as a hairband in gym class (haha,..being blinded by your own hair in field hockey sucks) Oh and some people are simply challenged in the head. Thats what I believe. We tied them and then they "scored" by cheating (as in not facing off before we started, and telling the teammate who told them they had to face off to shut up) Then they insisted they won. Luckily the teacher didn't ask who won because I would of made an ass out of myself trying to expose their impudent ways >.<
But yeah, life XP
Oops, so I kinda skipped a week. Yep. I don't feel the need for a progress picture. I get real flaky nowadays despite the fact my BP amount hasn't changed. No miraculous clearing really, still stubborn dark spots and occasional new zits, not to mention my vast amount of body acne. I'm going to try and keep the regimen going though, its worth it to prevent future scarring without resorting to the recently recalled accutane (I lol'd when I heard that, almost went there too!) Well I don't knew if its been recalled but there were commercials offering to help people write lawsuits against the accutane company. Hahaha!
But yeah. Reached a moot point. Hopefully if I keep up the regimen I'll be clear someday but its going to take a LONG time before my dark spots fade and an even LONGER time before my back clears up in adulthood.
Wow. Almost 100 days. Well my skin's doing well. There are little bumps but I don't mind. Getting to itch my face is worth it in my point of view ^^;;
So, . . . my day didn't go so well. My self confidence is awesome with everything except other people. I get shy and care so much about making good impressions that I come off as conceited or really quiet. Hate that. Then if I talk I come off like an airhead or a brain or sometimes simply a nice person, but I always feel like an ugly airhead. I wonder how many other girls feel that way, and I wonder how many of them wallow in it, how many of them accept it, how many of them hide it by avoiding other people, and how many other people thrive on it. Maybe if I lost twenty pounds and wore tighter clothes I'd get a date now and then. Or maybe if I started acting like a b**** I'd be able to fake some confidence. I feel like I'm part of the wall. The part that has an abandoned bees nest in it. Basically the one with a lot of holes no one else can see. But no one can help me. I have a friend to talk to about it, but she's heard it all and simply makes promises about my future I can't believe in. Other people are good to talk to as well but the less I spread the drama, the better. Very little is wrong except for the way I feel. I think I'm simply very tired.
Arrgh! So my skin was dry and REALLY flaky ALL day!!! And then I went to the bathroom and had this pinhole of blood right inbetween my eyes from a popped zit I wasn't even aware of! I know I itched my face quite a bit but I never touched myself inbetween my eyes, I mean, I'd remember that! Didn't even know I had a zit there! So unfair, I thought it was food or something (didn't know what 'cause i didn't eat anything red but whatever) so I tried to get it off, resulting in more blood! Grr!
Oh and I've decided to hault progress pictures for now. Its too much of a hassle and a let down to see how much I'm backpedling/not improving.
Oh, and as for my life! Well school is making uber sense now!! Yess!! My love life is basically the same, STABLE. Haha. I do have one, it simply involves good friendships with the opposite gender verses dramatical relationships. In highschool I think thats even BETTER. To learn to love a friend without involving envy of other girls they might show interest in, to befriend their family without any awkwardness of 'oh geez its the guy I like's family I need to make a good impression!' (in junior high I thought that and smiled hugely at them, got the weirdest look of my life XD)
In college hopefully I'll actually date or have a long term relationship or even get married. I'd like to marry young, or at least be in a meaningful relationship which results in marriage later in life. But as long as it actually lasts until death do us part I will be VERY happy about it :shhh:
And I'm getting a little better at self control. Not much, but little by little XP
Okay so my skin felt real tight today. Kinda flaky and itchy too. Don't know why, didn't change anything. Ohhh well. Well nothing much to report,..um,.I made a new friend :shhh: And I finished all my math homework in class (second time this semester!) Yes! And I'm real close to finishing this book for english even though we weren't supposed to until the end of the week. Ha!
And soon I'm going to a recital and after that second band rehearsal,..I'm hoping if there's a break and my dad doesn't wanna go home I can borrow money and get food downtown. Its soo tasty unless I have it a lot 'cause then my self image gains weight :shhh:
Well anyways even though I have time to goof around today I'm gonna go do somethin'! K bye :]
Wow, so I now fail at keeping a daily skin blog. Well anyways I used aha as a moisturizer again for the past two nights. Wow, its definately working. Its easier to see results on the lefthand side of my face than the right hand. Don't know why acne's worse on one side verses the other but whatever.
Oh yeah and guess what! I'm understanding math!!
I'm pretty sure its because I'm making a better effort to pay attention and I don't question what information they are telling us. Before I was always "There's no point to this!" But now I understand everything that seemingly had no point was building the base for the more complicated math which I am now starting to delve into. Its actually, . . . fun :shhh:
I'm also doing real good in spanish. I wish I was taking it next year but thats too many complicated classes and I wouldn't be able to continue with Spanish 4 which is what I'd want to do if I took Spanish 3. Guess I might be able to switch into it but yeah you know. Whatever happens happens.
Oh! And I think I'm going to a hockey game today! I wish I was going with someone who wasn't playing in it so I'd have someone to talk to but you know, I wanna see my friend play goalie(sp?)
And yeah! I'm all happy and stuff ^.^ nyee
Well I should go before I,...forget something. pfft. Screw math hw. OKAY BYE
Alright, so I've had a TON of candy and a TON of chips and I feel TIRED and DRAINED and FRUSTRATED XD. Blerp. I think my phone fell out of my pocket at school somewhere in the grass v.v I called it too so someone might of found it who won't give it back to me :cry:
But yeah,..four hour rehearsal with breaks and a ton of food. I wore a housecoat and pajama bottoms :shhh:
But anyways my skin's doing fine I guess. I can tell there are a lot of potential breakouts under the skin, it almost looks patchy. I knew this idea of clear skin was a stupid dream. But its better than before and I will be thankful for it, but re-ordering the regimen is going to become more and more of a chore. I may go ahead and use accutane. I'm scared but if I use it in the summer---
Edit: Found my phone. It was in the grass. Go me.
But yeah,..accutane is still possible but I'll stick with the regimen for now. I'm hoping adulthood with grow me out of acne.
On another note my love life has flatlined. There is a person/are people I like but,..there's no way they'd ask me out. They aren't really relationshipy types. So even though I feel attractive there really isn't anyone other than that person/people I want to be with at this point,..so I guess I'll stay single for a good long while. Give me time to better locate myself. And if by some freak chance they do genuinely ask me out,...then I'll enjoy it :shhh: But I won't get my hopes up. No point in that. Besides if it does happen it'll be that much more special because I wasn't expecting it.
Anyways I'm tired and still have to put BP on before I can go to bed. Night.
Okay, so yesterday was THE BEST DAY EVER!! It was so entertaining! Today wasn't nearly as cool but it was still pretty awesome :shhh: I saw someone with another girl, that someone who I thought was hitting on me (which I'm pretty sure he was, that was right before he got together with her) and I didn't feel sad! I was a LITTLE put off and kinda nauseous,... and weirded out because they were looking right at me for no reason I know of. Also my a good friend of mine has been dating this other good friend of mine for a while, and her parents JUST found out because they saw her and him kissing. I'm afraid for them, they're the most functional couple I've ever met in highschool, I think they'd even do well in marriage if her parents would lighten up and realize they can't control their daughter anymore. I mean really, she's almost a senior in highschool, give it a year and she'll be legally able to do whatever she wants. If anyone's in love at the school its them. For sure. I've heard it from both sides. I'm not religious to a full extent,..but boy am I going to pray for them.
Also my skin's doing AMAZING
I haven't used AHA in a while but its still doing wonders or the dark spots are really starting to clear up.
Also I haven't had much of an appetite lately,..though I think thats because I've had a HUGE breakfast for the past couple days :shhh:
You know when you've committed yourself to the Regimen when itching your face becomes a sinful act. I've been itching my face a lot lately and am kinda afraid of whats gonna happen XD
Everything else is going alright I suppose. Nothing's changed really, something new MIGHT of happened but I think my mind made it up for me :shhh:
Okay. Well I decided to put on AHA+ for the day instead of for the night, at least today. I've noticed I actually used as much AHA+ and BP so something tells me I gotta use more BP and less AHA+ XD
Also I'm thinking about going to the store and trying to find something for my back,..even if I don't completely clear up back there it'd be nice to have less acne. Can't afford to use the regimen for back, even if it does work. Also I'm reaallly craving chocolate right now >w<
And practicing trumpet is becoming one heck of a chore. I have to do all these lip flexibility exercises after warming up and doing exercises out of the arbans.
I tried to vary it and give myself time to rest by doing floor exercises like situps and pushups in between,..so I did two sets of fifty sit ups (the ones where you bring your knees up from the floor as well as your chest and then touch them, go back down without touching the floor and then go back up again) and ten push ups. (The ones where you barely bend your elbows because your arms shake so much and your legs are so tired from doing too many situps your knees are barely off the ground).
I kinda want dark chocolate,..or a run or bike ride. Of course this craving comes while its raining. The weather keeps changing, usually its REALLY hot this time of year as it approaches summer but,...its been freezing some days, hot others, and extremely rainy others. Weeeeird.
And my hat's coming along pretty well. I'm gonna give it to someone for their birthday if I finish it in time. I think I need double-pointed needles as I start to decrease stitches but hopefully using circular needles the whole time won't be TOO much of a hassle,..
Good Morning all! So my skin is doing great. It's not as red as it used to be, and there are only about two prominent white heads down by my jaw. (probably from not brushing my teeth before the regimen, but after). I have definately lowered use of BP. Makes my skin tone look better if I only use the reccommended amount. And I'm wondering right now what month # I'm approaching? Its SOO weird its already April. :shhh:
So I think I'm approaching month four now. Well truth be told I haven't experienced any miraculous clearing, but it IS clearing, and if my dark spots start fading faster and I stop itching my face and making new ones, soon perhaps I will indeed have relatively perfect skin to enjoy.
It definitely makes me feel more attractive. And I've been eating less lately in an attempt to lose a bit of weight. Today's a big test 'cause the farmers market it today. I can get LOTS of sugary delicious food there, like brownies and cookies and chocolate crossaints. So I'm going to try to contain myself and wait for lunch, maybe head down there simply for a tamale (which are suprisenly very nice and filling) and a chai tea. Its very tempting to grab a delicious brownie,..maybe I will. Maybe not,..I'm trying to avoid massive intakes of sugar. Perhaps I'll pick up some kiwis. Or I can get a burrito and a crossaint and eat the crossaint now, wait a few hours, then eat the burrito.
Gosh. This makes me want to do a combination problem like in math.
Been doing too much math. I'm taking math analysis next year, and I may go with AP statistics or intro to statisics at the college my senior year. My math teacher told me it'd be better to take math analysis because I'm good at math and it could be on the SATs.
Also a LOT of my friends are taking math analysis,..I'd love to be in the same class but hopefully we'll at least have the same teacher who hopefully won't be the one people say sucks. haha.
Guess I'll see what happens. I chose to do Music Enrichment rather than Spanish three so as not to overload myself because all my other classes are real difficult. If its last period I might just go home and practice there. Or see if I can switch into Spanish 3.
Also I might try to figure out a way to carry my trumpet on the bike,...it'd be so much easier.
Weird how it takes five hours of rehearsal to realize how much I love being a musician.
Alright skin first:
Its doing very well. My dark spots continue to fade away to specs and if I squint my lefthand cheek almost looks clear (I take pics of the right, my worst one)
I do have active acne but I don't mind it that much
Because its WAY less then I had before and I know exactly why I've been getting it
A combination of purging from AHA+ and I've been touching my face too much.
Also I decided to go back to only a fingers length of BP. A little extra made my face ridiculously dry so I'm guessing I didn't need to do that because I backed off and if anything my skin looks BETTER because it actually retains the moisture.
But yeah,.
My day was full of WOOHOO!!!!!!!! See, at first a person I'm a little nnyyee about what giving me extra attention, (thats so-so, interesting but not :shhh: worthy haha) in english I BARELY have an A in that class. 90%. I love it when that happens. Even though I know its going to be hard to keep that or raise it, I'm on the edge and its thrilling.
Like in the perimeter for gym class! 10:29 !!!
My goal was to get less than 10:30.
Haha. Whee :shhh:
Also,..in my last post I complained about having no variety in my life.
Well I DO!
Some of its bad, but at least its different! And then as far as renewing my interest in music,...its an adventure! I went to a trombone recital got a smoothie and then went to rehearsal,..if I didn't have music I would of sat home and been bored.
Also I'm concuring realms I never thought possible. I'm getting a lot better at improvising, (which I haven't done in quite a while), and I didn't eat for seven or eight full hours. Maybe nine. Here I was thinking I didn't have the willpower to get through two. Haha! Take that! I do so have self control! ^.^ Today was an exciting day.
So apparently I'm playing in a concert Saturday and I'm rehearsing all day tomorrow. Kk. >w<
If I wasn't doing that I'd be doing homework and cleaning so big whoop.
As for my skin I've been touching it too much. I rested my face on the back of a chair and left little specks of white debri all over it. I'm very tired and am probably going to be even worse tomorrow. I need to shower,...ugh,...I've also been having more emotional issues lately. Its probably the lack of sleep but sometimes I'm all happy for no particular reason adn then others it feels like my lungs are failing to absorb oxygen or whatever that does,...almost like I'm drowning yet I can still breathe. Then I get kinda dizzy and hungry and tired,...and depressed. blah. Whatever.
I wish something special would happen.
Kind of feel selfish to wish that for myself,..
but for some reason it seems like I always watch everyone else find who they want to be with, or what they want to do in life, or best their personal record in track. I love music,...but its almost like eating the same food everyday,..it gets boring after a while.
I don't want to take a break though. I CAN'T take a break. What I really want to do is a sport but my health won't allow it. I know I've reached my low, I may be living it.
Hopefully things really can't get worse.
I just feel so empty. Like I need some variety in my life.
Entering a story in the literary magazine did that for me,...but thats over now.
New Hobbies, new or renewed Flings, new food, new classes, new routine,..
I can try to wake up late tomorrow!
Only issue is the regimen. I CAN'T sleep in. I barely have enough time for it as it is.
Plus I have to walk so I have to leave that much earlier.
I might be able to make it if I'm up right at 6:30am.
I don't know what an extra half hour of sleep will do but,..least its variety.
Ooo week thirteen. This week's bound to be ominous or bothersome in some way. Or incredibly lucky. Hahah. I'm really not sure what superstitions are more common place.
So here's my most recent progress picture:
I have been a lot more dry then usual, and when I'm dry I tend to touch my face more (wet my hands in an attempt to hide the flakiness) and thus create more acne. But my dark spots are fading noticeably now.
As for my life, stress has been so-so. Not much drama. I still get tense when that other person is around,..the bad way. But it passes and seeing them with someone else doesn't seem to bug me, though if I see them holding hands and/or kissing I'll probably be thrown off for a little while but overall I think I'm finally moving on. Since he's in a relationship he can't keep me from doing it either. (before when I'd start to move on--by coincidence or not--he'd make another appearance and flirt hecka until I was into him again, which won't happen anymore 'cause I'm adamant!)
The life I'm moving onto is healthy. I'm using caution as to what classes I take so I don't over-stress myself. I really hope I get in the same class as my band friends,...it'd be cool 'cause I have so many classes with them already, one in particular.
Nothing mucho interesante. (lolz spanish!) Um,...I went through this huge debate with myself over AP statistics vs Math Analysis. Math Analysis won, I'm going to my counselor tomorrow (Hopefully my timing will not be as bad as it was today) and getting my schedule changed for the second time :shhh: (hopefully there will not be a third! haha)
Well I'd better go shower and sleep and stuff. Goodbye internet/possibly existent readers!