Day 16

Everything sucks!!!!! UGHHH! I have 3 zits on my face. One of the 3 is very big and very red. Last night I tried to pop it and hardly anything came out..so when I woke up this morning it was very red. I put toothpaste on it last night and it did absolutely nothing. There's so much pressure under my skin there and I hate it. I am embarrassed to leave my bedroom. I went downstairs for breakfast but I didn't want to. I told my mom and little brother "you can all look at the big welts on my face now so I don't have to hear about it throughout the day" and then I started tearing up really bad. I don't want my sister to see me like this. Her skin is like, perfect. I am just really depressed today. Oh and my makeup won't cover it up since I tried popping it. WHYYY did I have to be so stupid and try popping it!?!?! To top it all off, I am on my period and I am cramping. I wanted to lay out today because I'm pale but my sister is laying out in her little bikini and I don't want to go out there!!!

I am supposed to go to cedar point on Friday with a group of people, some who I do not know and I don't want to look like this! It's only Tuesday though, I will be praying that it will be gone or better by then. The crack in my mouth is still there. I don't want to go out and buy vaseline because I don't want to keep buying special things just because I'm on accutane. It probably would end up not helping. However, I go to the derm on Monday so maybe he will know what to do. I still have a crack under my nose. I have been putting aquaphor on it and in the morning it's all dry skin. My blackheads are out of control. I didn't think I had so many? They are basically everywhere and my forehead especially feels like there are little itty bitty bumps all over it and that was always where I was clear. Hmm...

Hopefully next time I blog it will be good news.