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This. Is. War.

Posted by iCanDream, 11 June 2014 · 89 views

I have a dream...
And that dream is to live.
I have a goal...
And that goal is to give...

 
To give the world the best of me...
To rid it all so they can see...
The person that I am inside...
The face that I so often hide...

 
-Teresa

My goal...
is to be rid of my acne by the time senior year (of college) starts.  It's a need, not a want.  
Senior year is the last year I will be able to see my friends every day.  It is the last year I'll be surrounded by thousands of people my age.  It is my last chance to be noticed.  This is why it is a MUST that I be clear.  With my current skin condition, living life the fullest is practically impossible.  I MUST be clear senior year.

But there are obstacles in my path.... 

I finally called my doctor asking about the status of my referral to the dermatologist.  He told me that the referral had already been sent (2 weeks ago), and to call the dermatologist office to schedule an appointment.

And so I did.  Guess what?

 
The earliest opening is 3 months from now....
THREE MONTHS from now!  September 2nd, 2014.  This is ridiculous.  I am not at all happy... Do they only see one patient a day or something?... I cannot accept this.
If I'm not able to see a dermatologist until September, that means I won't be able to start Accutane until October (and that's assuming I successfully get prescribed during my first visit).  This means I will be in school by the time I start Accutane, and I will be on it for the majority of the year.  This means:  I WILL NOT BE CLEAR.  

 
I don't want to spend the rest of my summer hiding, crying, and obsessing.  I am mentally incapable of doing so.
 
I have a GOAL , a DREAM, and I'm extremely determined to meet it.
 
This.  Is.  War.
Yes, dermatologists...  I declare war.  I'm going to call the office every single day asking to schedule an "urgent" appointment.  I'm going to call every day asking to take any cancelled slots.  I'm going to do whatever it takes to be able to take my first pill by next month.

I've never wanted anything so desperately...

This is going to happen.... Nothing's going to stop me...

P.S.  "This Is War" by 30 Seconds to Mars is a pretty good song.  :P

 




I'm rooting for you! I want to get on Accutane too, especially after seeing all of the success stories on this website. It's amazing what a powerful MEDICINE it is. I don't read all the negative comments about it as much anymore, because I feel like I am informed enough about the side effects and any further reading is just going to scare me away. There are always trade offs to be made in life, not every decision we take is 100% win and 0% loss. I believe that acne, while some many call it only a superficial or minor medical problem, can be even more damaging than a more serious condition. I feel like a severe case of acne is like the having leprosy in the old times. It's not fair to any young person, especially a woman, to live a dissatisfying, not to say depressing, way of life in supposedly her happiest years. Some acne never goes away, as it is the case for many people on this forum, and its severity is unavoidable. Modern medicine has still a long way to go, but what it has to offer at the moment ain't that bad! Accutane is truly a magic pill if it gives people with severe acne clear skin! By the way, I will also be a senior in uni, but I don't want to get on it just to get noticed. I just want to feel good about myself, stop thinking about it, finally feel free and pursue everything else I wanted in life, because I would be truly happy and therefore I would truly enjoy life. I will never forget the hope my new dermatologist gave me when he said "Don't worry about it, there is plenty of medicine you haven't tried yet," because at that point I felt like I hit rock bottom with my failed attempts. I'm on oral antibiotics for a first time in my life for acne, I'm on the strongest retinoid (tazorac), I'm on a good birth control pill for acne (ortho) and I know that the next step would be either spiro or accutane. Since I am 4hrs away from home during the school year, it'd be annoying to drive every Thursday and skip class to see my doctor and get the blood work done, so I wonder if I should just get on it now and forge about my current regimen. I can continue with what I'm doing now later to maintain my skin...

I'm rooting for you! I want to get on Accutane too, especially after seeing all of the success stories on this website. It's amazing what a powerful MEDICINE it is. I don't read all the negative comments about it as much anymore, because I feel like I am informed enough about the side effects and any further reading is just going to scare me away. There are always trade offs to be made in life, not every decision we take is 100% win and 0% loss. I believe that acne, while some many call it only a superficial or minor medical problem, can be even more damaging than a more serious condition. I feel like a severe case of acne is like the having leprosy in the old times. It's not fair to any young person, especially a woman, to live a dissatisfying, not to say depressing, way of life in supposedly her happiest years. Some acne never goes away, as it is the case for many people on this forum, and its severity is unavoidable. Modern medicine has still a long way to go, but what it has to offer at the moment ain't that bad! Accutane is truly a magic pill if it gives people with severe acne clear skin! By the way, I will also be a senior in uni, but I don't want to get on it just to get noticed. I just want to feel good about myself, stop thinking about it, finally feel free and pursue everything else I wanted in life, because I would be truly happy and therefore I would truly enjoy life. I will never forget the hope my new dermatologist gave me when he said "Don't worry about it, there is plenty of medicine you haven't tried yet," because at that point I felt like I hit rock bottom with my failed attempts. I'm on oral antibiotics for a first time in my life for acne, I'm on the strongest retinoid (tazorac), I'm on a good birth control pill for acne (ortho) and I know that the next step would be either spiro or accutane. Since I am 4hrs away from home during the school year, it'd be annoying to drive every Thursday and skip class to see my doctor and get the blood work done, so I wonder if I should just get on it now and forge about my current regimen. I can continue with what I'm doing now later to maintain my skin...

 
Of course I don't want to get on it just to be "noticed."  I just feel like I'll regret it for the rest of my life if I let acne ruin my senior year.  For most people, it is literally the last year of school.  I don't really know what's after that, and so I want to spend my last year doing everything I didn't do the last three.  I'm sick of hiding, I'm sick of being afraid of what people are thinking when they see my acne -- acne I can't even hide with make up.  So, it seems I'm in the same boat as you (except you already have a derm and a VERY high chance of getting on accutane).

As for being 4 hours away from home...  Isn't it possible for you to find a Quest Diagnostics (I don't know if that's where you go) nearby you to get your blood tests and have them send it to your doctor at home?  I have done that before.  Anyway, I do wish you the best!  It's nice to know there are people in almost the exact same shoes as me.

I can tell you a regimen that will get you clear 100%.

 

Ortho Tri-cyclen

150mg spironolactone

Cephalexin 500mg 3x per day

Tretinoin/Benzaclin/Acanya/epiduo/ or Ziana (some combination that includes both a retinoid and benzoyl peroxide).

My skin is so clear now. If you look back at old blogs I have "BEFORE" and "AFTER" pics. The difference is nothing short of a miracle! And oh, for soap I've used Hibiclens at times. Do not get this in your eyes! I am not strongly recommending you use it more than once a week. It can be quite drying but it is seriously antiseptic, kills millions of bacteria on contact and can kill existing active acne over the course of a week. The results of hibiclens last hours after you rinse it off...it keeps killing bacteria for up to 24hrs. WOW!   Or dial antibacterial soap with triclosan. Also for moisturizer try Cetaphil Oil Control moisturizer with spf30. It is oil free and non-comodogenic. You look pretty fair skinned so anything less than a spf 30 and you might burn. Good luck!

I've tried a wash with triclosan and was pretty happy with it :) if u combine it with a glycolic wash of 10-20% (mine was 20%) it's even better.

I didn't know that a basic soap as dial has triclosan!!! I hope it's pH level is not above 7!!!

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