Day 15 With New Treatment

Hey guys, how are you all today? I feel a little frustrated with myself, but its not because of my skin just chemistry...I am so not understanding it at all. I hope I start to get to grips with it soon though.

Apart from that Im okay I guess.  I felt quite down about my skin at the beginning of the week, you know I guess we all get like that sometimes...its so strange sometimes I am great other days I am the most pessimistic, anti-social person on the entire earth.  I really hate it when I HATE my skin (I really dislike the word hate, its so negative isn't it) But when I feel like that I just change, I becoming snappy and bitchy and when ANYONE compliments me (I dont like complimens anyway) but when they do I just dismiss is entirely and roll my eyes.  I feel sorry for people who think Im beautiful, since it I cant believe them - not until I learn to believe I am myself.  So I just listen to the words but dont take them in, its horrible.  I really do wish I had perfect skin.

But I mean, on the other end of the spectrum I know that since struggling with blemished skin all my life I am not, at all, a vain person.  Never have I been vain.  I definately do not jusdge people on their looks anyway, never.  I know what it is like to be judged and I dont like thinking that I could make someone feel so bad about themselves.

Anyway, in terms of my routine I have changed it up a bit, I keep doing this...I dont know if its a good thing or not.

MORNING
Wash face with water only, wait to dry
Apply diluted ACV as a toner, wait to dry
Apply Azelaic Acid - still using this!
Apply tea tree oil only on large pimples.

*I apply honey every second day as opposed to everyday before washing my face*

EVENING
The exact same thing.

So thats that just now.  I SHOULD add, at the weekends I actually apply Paulas Choice 2% BHA on my skin BEFORE the Azelaic Acid, or sometimes I dont apply the Acid actually, just depends how I feel my skin is looking.  So I only use Pauals choice about twice a week at the moment, thats been going on for about 3 and a half weeks.

I feel my skin is just the same really, I do not get as much inflammation at all anymore though, so no redness BUT I still have alot of underskin spots/pores.  Also, I have been usin the ACV only for about 5 days and I have noticed my skin getting more oily than it used to like throughout the day, so by the end of the day it looks more shiny :/

AND I feel sooooo ashamed to admit this, but I have to.  So I was getting used to Soya milk, it was going fine.  Until I ran out yesterday, and I am a typically "need my morning coffee" kinda person...so I used cows milk that was in my fridge...damnit! So after 21 days I had cows milk.  It wasn't alot, and it was totally a one off, I have my Soya milk so Im keeping up with it.

Also, on Monday I have an appointment with my doctor and I am going to ask her if I can get allergy testing done