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To others, I am okay. I seem fine. People assume I have my shit together and I am content.
Personally, I am sad and losing hope that my skin will ever turn around...and it's a really shitty feeling.
My SKIN. MY FACE.
Why is this SO important to me to the extent that I would RATHER sit inside all day and sleep as much as possible. Avoiding my friends and family. Passing on picnics and parties. Avoiding daylight at all costs. Lying to my children to cover up why I dont want to go out, or take them swimming. Wathing television while I FEEL my life slipping away. I KNOW I am going to regret this isolation and inactiveness one day but I just can't free myself from over-obsessing about my skin. I even hide from my own family. I will make dinner and refuse to eat at the dinner table because I don't want them to have to face me. It sucks. THIS sucks.
My skin: super oily, scarred, marked, invaded by STUBBORN zits framing my face and covering my cheeks. Every day, no matter what I do a whitehead appears. If I have to go out, I cake on makeup and the worst part of the day is taking it off--then my acne looks bigger and angrier from the cleaning efforts and I imagine it is still in there intruding on my pores. The effort to be presentable is simply exhausting
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What I am currently on:
Personally, I am sad and losing hope that my skin will ever turn around...and it's a really shitty feeling.
My SKIN. MY FACE.
Why is this SO important to me to the extent that I would RATHER sit inside all day and sleep as much as possible. Avoiding my friends and family. Passing on picnics and parties. Avoiding daylight at all costs. Lying to my children to cover up why I dont want to go out, or take them swimming. Wathing television while I FEEL my life slipping away. I KNOW I am going to regret this isolation and inactiveness one day but I just can't free myself from over-obsessing about my skin. I even hide from my own family. I will make dinner and refuse to eat at the dinner table because I don't want them to have to face me. It sucks. THIS sucks.
My skin: super oily, scarred, marked, invaded by STUBBORN zits framing my face and covering my cheeks. Every day, no matter what I do a whitehead appears. If I have to go out, I cake on makeup and the worst part of the day is taking it off--then my acne looks bigger and angrier from the cleaning efforts and I imagine it is still in there intruding on my pores. The effort to be presentable is simply exhausting
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What I am currently on:
- Doxycycline 100 mg daily (for 6 weeks)
- Aldactone 100 mg daily (50mg for 6 weeks, 100mg 2 weeks in)
- Welbutrin 150 mg daily (for depression)
- Xanax (as needed when I need to leave the house to converse with the public) Oy!
- Vitamins: C, D, Zinc
