Planet Bumps

I have been battling with accepting how I look. I have researched and been on different websites for 'support', all to help ease the torture I put myself through.  I would always lie to myself that I was attractive.  I finally accept that I am truly an ugly person and my face just makes me go from ugly to hideous. I hate being so shallow and having such a low self esteem, but when you look like me there is no other alternative.   I honestly try to have a good outlook on life. It's just all the hope I have built up, all of a sudden disappears the moment I see how people react towards my appearance. All I get is disgust looks on peoples faces, no eye contact, hurried conversation. It's horrible, I want to interact with people and be friendly. But when I get reactions like that from almost everyone, it's hard to stay positive and be nice. Sometimes I just want to yell that I am sorry for being so ugly I have no choice.  If only everyone in this world had something on their faces like bumps or acne and it was strange to have clear skin. Then people would not be so disgusted. Until then I have to endure the torture of everyday living and hope one day I can finally be at peace with myself.