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I Hate Looking In The Mirror

Posted by Bass, 08 April 2012 · 158 views

I have an obsession with looking in the mirror. I like to lean in, so that I am really close, and stare at the skin on my face. I like to count every flaw. I always know how many active zits are on my face at one time. I know when I have a new zit coming in because I can feel it forming on my face. I have become so obessed with my acne that during the day, I can feel the tingle and itch from a new zits. It drives me crazy. I TRY not to think about my skin, but it so much easier said than done.

As of late, I have not looked into the mirror and started crying. I used to do this about twice a week. It was putting a strain on my relationship with my fiance. A big one. I don't know why I don't do it anymore, but I don't. I feel better, but only look a little better. I guess it depends on the light.

I worry about my acne alot. I used to be blemish free. I was one of those girls you see that literally has flawless skin. I had no idea how lucky I was. I got off birth control at 21 and 6 months later my face was out of control. My face was better at 21 than it is now, at 23.

Makeup helps SO MUCH. There is a disadvantage to makeup, however. Once it comes off, you have to see your skin for what it truely is. I feel very artificial wearing makeup. I never used to, I didnt need it. The more face powder I put on, the more confidence I have. It is sad, really.

My fiance and I met when I was 18 (the days of flawless skin). Now that I have developed moderately severe acne, he still claims that I am beautiful. This is something that I will never understand. When I look in the mirror, I see the exact opposite.




Believe me, if someone you've been with for so long and who loved you so, so much, spots on your face won't even catch his eye. You don't have to worry about that, he will love you for who you are, not how you look. I think my acne is vile, a few years ago you would never catch me talking to a boy, or even be outside. Any mirror I passed, i'd be in front of it in seconds checking that new spot you felt this morning and seeing if it was still there. It reminds you of what your face looks like. My spots are much better now, i'm younger than you but I know the effects of acne. I try not to look in the mirror as tempting as it is. Just tell yourself before you look that it'll make you feel horrible all over again. Noone is looking,guarantee it's the first thing your eyes look at. It's not what other people first look at, if at all. At least if you ignore a mirror, you can't see what's there, forget all about it. It really does help me. Mind control, tell yourself to stop before you do it. And remember, your fiancée loves you for who you are, don't let the bloody things ruin your life, they really aren't worth it :)
Thanks. That was really great advice. It kinda reminds me of what my mom always says to me:

"Other people have their own image issues. They don't have enough energy to worry about yours."

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