How My Acne Has Mentally Destroyed Me.
Posted by Liam Foster, 17 September 2013 · 710 views
This will be my final blog post for a long while, my final canvas in which to convey every last detail of my struggle with people whom may or may not understand. Acne has brought me to my knees and has destroyed me in a way i think i will never be able to overcome as long as i still walk this Earth. What many people don't realise with this disease, as i like to call it, is that along with the physical scrutiny that Acne puts you under; it destroys your inner most self, you become weakened by it all. I have had severe acne for 2 years now, and the acne that once was, now subsides deep in my skin, creating very noticeable red scars, all over my face. I have been in a formidable struggle with depression ever since this occurred. I am now half the person i once was before any of this ever began. I have given up so much because of my constant daily struggle; job opportunities, close friendships, close family bonds, my social life but most importantly, i have given up myself. For people who have struggled with severe acne for as long as i have will understand how hard it is to wake up every day, look in the mirror and be completely overcome with embarrassment and that feeling of anguish knowing that you don't look any different, your face is still messed up, and you know the most painful part? There is literally nothing you can do anymore, you have no fight left in you. I have tried everything there is apart from Accutane, but i don't want to talk about drugs and medication right now because we all know they are just false hopes, as once they do their work and you stop taking them, you get overcome by it all once again, this time 100x worse than before. No, this isn't about how many things i have tried, or how many pills and drugs i have taken to try ever so desperately to rid me from this pain, this is about my mental state, and how acne has destroyed my life, basically. I stay awake till 5am, 6am sometimes, at times just staring into complete darkness, a feeling of not wanting to wake up in the morning at the fact that my life will still be the same, i will still look the same and that's just the way things will remain. And for the people reading this right now, please don't comment with fake optimism; telling me that things will always get better, that things will change because it won't make a slight bit of difference to me whatsoever. If you feel the same way as i do, then please by all means, comment your struggles, and we can struggle together! I don't want no philosophical bullshit put my way either, so please refrain from doing so. This is just my life at the current moment, in one whole paragraph. Maybe once day i can come back onto this site and tell you about how my life has changed and how i can finally live like a normal person, instead of a nocturnal recluse who is slowly wasting away. Thanks for taking your time to read this, and god forbid for this to ever happen to anyone else. Acne will break you, and when things are uncontrollable, you become your most vulnerable, and that's when it tears you apart the most.