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I Wish I Could Cut Off My Hands. But Then What Would Put On My Acne Cream?

Posted by A damsel in Distress, 05 June 2012 · 729 views

acne picking popping pimples blackheads stress water cerave lotion

I wish I could blame my hands for how my face looks. But I know its really my lack of self control. If I would quit picking at my skin I KNOW it would be so much better. But instead of stopping when I say I'm going to, I find myself in front of the mirror, hunting for any and everything I can possibly pick at. Then, when my face is oozing, red and sore, I blame my hands.

Is picking an addiction? I feel like it is. Either that or a mental disorder. Posted Image

I WANT to stop!!!! If i ever get rid of acne, my scars are going to be so awful I will go out and kill myself. I probably shouldnt say that. Posted Image

SO...anyways I thought I'd update my "regime" since it's changed quite a bit.

Morning:
Face on a normal day when no ones going to see me: wash with lerrosett salacylic acid 2%, mist with toner (my creation: witch hazel, a few drops of tea tree oil and lavender oil), sun block _ Neutrogena Pure and Free Liquid daily sunblock SPF 55(the one with Titanium Dioxide 7% and Zinc Oxide 3%), CeraVe lotion, then Clearasil Daily Clear Adult Acne Treatment Cream (tinted) with Sulfer 8% and Resorcinol 2% as a spot treatment.

Face when people are going to see me: wash and tone the same, sunblock and CeraVe, let set. Use primer sometimes, concealer always. Then mineral foundation and what ever eye make I want to wear (if i feel like any at all). I v been expperimenting with green concealers and primers lately. I think it all depends on how much you use. And you have to be careful to blend.

Back (when I remember): AHA cream on scars and any spots I have. Sunscreen on any place that will be seen my the sun (that goes for the rest of my body as well)

Evening:
Face: Wash with lerroset face wash in shower, get out, sometimes use either lerroset mask that i have keft or the Olay Sulfer mask (14% i think), wash off, tone with toner, sometimes use AHA cream. Jojobia Oil with a few drops of lavender oil, let it soak in, then CeraVe lotion, and spot treat with the the same acne cream again or alittle bit of the sulfer mask. Just depends. I'v also been toying with putting nothing on there....Also i use Nutrogena Naturals makeup remover + cleanser before I use my face wash if i was wearing make up to begine with.

Back: wash with a boby wash containing salacylic acid 2% (I keep atleast 2 brands and switch every two days. I guess I'm scared one will quit working if I use it too long) mist with toner, Aveeno deep hydration cream stuff (its in a jar) then AHA cream on scars and any spots. Sometimes I do the AHA cream fist but I dont know if it really makes a difference.

So yea, thats it. You'd think with all that my face would be better. But maybe all that is keeping it from being like, REALLY BAD. I hope so, I'm trying to be optimistic.

As to diet, I'm going on a liquids diet. Water, tea, coffee, jucies, broth etc. I need to get my daily vitimens back in the mix too. And I'm going to start takin a b12 complex.
As to exercise, I'm trying to fit as much as I can in when I can. I wish I did more. But then again, I also wish I didn't pick my face...and that I didnt have acne to start with.... Posted Image

whatthekell

Jun 05 2012 11:56 AM

i'm in the same boat as you. i cry every single day because of what i've done to my skin. i hate it. i definitely think it's an addiction. and it's a viscous cycle. seems like when i pick, they multiply. but if i don't pop them, they don't go away! so i can't stop. the only time i stop is when my face is actually clear. but i don't see that happening for a while...

beautyZontheinsIde

Jun 05 2012 02:26 PM

picking can be a disorder, its an obsessive compulsive habit - and sometimes goes along with body dismorphic disorder(where you obsess about a specific image issue usually hair, skin, and nails.) I am a picker too, and I would love to help you through it. I dont pick like a use to because I forced myself to make a change. The good news is that you know what you are doing and you know that it is wrong now the next step is to fix it

There are baby steps you can start to take in order to help you to not pick so much and everytime I revert back to my old habits of a night of picking I want to punch myself an hour later because it really does make everything look so much worse. I'm here to help if you need any suggestions etc.

whatthekell

Jun 05 2012 06:50 PM

please tell us some suggestions =)

beautyZontheinsIde

Jun 05 2012 08:14 PM

okay

these things have worked for me so far, and everyone will and can find their own small changes that they can do. everything I write down I have either done or am currently doing, some of them may seem ridiculous and silly but it honestly helped me.

1. I limit myself to looking in the mirror 10 minutes in the morning and that includes putting make up on
2. Try looking at your entire face not just areas of concern - because people arent looking right at the area thats bothering you the most or wear you are broken out they look at the big picture, they see your eyes, your nose, your lips, your eyebrows, cheekbones. you name it so take in the beauty of your full face because you are all beautiful

3. At one point in time I honestly ripped down all the mirrors off my wall and covered up the one in my bathroom with a garbage bag so I wouldnt be tempted to go in and pick - insane I know
4. I am now overly cautious about how much I touch my face during the day, even if it isnt to actually pick, once I really focused on this I realized how much I touch my face (its like a nervous habit or something) so I am more aware that I am likely to do it which has helped me to stop as soon as I notice myself doing it.
5. Take a picture of your face immediately after an insane picking session and see how horrible it looks because it does it is all irritated and swollen and red, next time you want to pick look at that picture and decide if thats what you want to deal with.
6. I only pick things that are done fighting the infection which appears as a white head
7. NEVER EVER EVER pop a cyst - if it is painful and I know they are, i try to get to my derm who injects a light amount of corticosteriod into it
8. I made this cute little collage on a regular piece of paper that has things that I like about myself and inspiring quotes on it and it literally hangs at the bottom of my bathroom mirror, I see it everyday, numerous times a day and it helps me to stay positive. Some things I wrote on mine are "you are so funny" "you have beautiful lips" "nice eyebrows!" "things WILL get better but it takes time" "no one can take your happiness away from you" "no one cares but you" "your family and friends love you for you, not how you look" "you are far more than your appearance" you know inspiring things like that , I decorated it and made it all cute and its one of the best things I did, it helps

whatthekell

Jun 06 2012 06:37 AM

great tips! thank you so much =) my boyfriend threatens to tape up the mirrors all the time lol. i'm like how am i gonna get ready?
that's a good idea to look at your whole face rather than problem areas. i'll try that! and maybe even try to get ready in 10 minutes haha.
i'm trying to be good and only pop things that are begging to be popped, but even so i'm walking around with some whiteheads on my upper lip because i know if i squeeze them they'll look 10 times worse.
i had a bunch of post it notes up on my mirror basically telling me not to do certain things but i always ignored them. i will write down some of these quotes instead =)

thank you so much!

beautyZontheinsIde

Jun 07 2012 08:13 AM

my boyfriend threatens as well and he actually was the one who first initiated the whole "hiding the mirrors" ordeal. he is such a huge support I don't know what I would do without him sometimes

)

At any rate, it really does look so much worse after you pick but it's so hard to resist that urge sometimes.

Sounds like you are started to make some changes, just follow through with them.

Seriously I went a whole week without picking my face to a disaster and what a difference! and I have been experimenting by leaving little non inflammed bumps that I tend to get (normally I attack them and make them infected or much worse) I let them do their thing for a few day and it really is 50/50-sometimes they grow bigger which pisses me off haha but sometimes they just go right away and do their own thing and I'm not left with post inflammatory pigmentation(the red mark after the acne is gone)

we should find something else to obsess about, because this is exhausting

haha

whatthekell

Jun 07 2012 08:30 AM

aww, i don't know what i'd do without my boyfriend either. he's a great support system =) i was a freaking mess last night because my whole face is horrible. and he was really good with me.

this whole experience has made me realize that in the past when i had very mild acne and would cry over 1 or 2 that i was really over reacting. now i really have something to freak out about. i'm much better at not picking everything on my face because now there's so many and it looks terrible without picking. i only pop them if they're hanging out. and i have one on my forehead that i'd normally hack out, but i'm leaving it alone. whenever this shit clears up i am really going to appreciate my skin more.

i know, everybody tells me to find something else to obsess over. i haven't quite found it yet. i love to read, but when my mind is racing because of my skin, i can't concentrate. someone told me yesterday i should start doing yoga. who knows =P we will get through this soon!

A damsel in Distress

Jul 19 2012 01:27 PM

Thanks for the tips you two!!! I'm def. trying to stop picking. I know it can only help my skin. It sounds like you both are blessed with awesome guys