Head up beautiful! Things will look up shortly, count your blessings and remember everything you have going for you. :]
You are a beautiful person inside and out, and don't let a little thing like a bad mood affect you too bad. Hopefully you are back in sorts tomorrow! I've heard vitamin B I think B12 or something is really good for you mood, and natural booster. Maybe look into it?
I hope your day tomorrow is a lot better, TGIF! :]

aw bella, tomorrow's a new day. and it WILL be better

do something for yourself--you deserve it!

Chin up girl

Aren't you on Easter vacation now? If not surely you will be very soon

Hence you arent obligated to do anything, if you're IB is being a bastard at least you can hide in your room for the day and count down the days

I've got a derm appointment on the 27th April and am going to ask for accutane for my mild persistent acne, any tips ?

If i get prescribed I'll be on it over the summer ( i get 18 weeks off from university ) 4 months!

DAY 12!

SPRING BREAK! SPRING BREAK! SPRING BREAK!
SPRING BREAK! SPRING BREAK! SPRING BREAK!
SPRING BREAK! SPRING BREAK! SPRING BREAK!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

woah! i was so out of it yesterday! the stress was literally eaaating me alive!

my skin felt it too...i have about the biggest cyst ever above/sort of in my eyebrow! it was so normal sized yesterday but after the 20 minutes of sleep i got it swelled up and kinda looks like the lump you get on your arm after the TB test or something lol
and the other cyst got huge and when i was brushing my hair i accidentally scraped it with my nail or something and it started bleeding everywhere and is now a scabby lump...eww! i'm letting it go naked today and get some air so it can heal better

anyways. everything was wacko and stressful and today after the bell rang for my last exam i just got so relieved i like...fell asleep or something! i don't even remember, i just drove home (danger! danger! i should nooot be driving lol) and took a nap on the couch and now i'm feeling loaaads better
you guys are amazinggg. thank you so much!
i signed on again pretty early in the morning while studying for ap calc and saw your replies and was like awwwwww. they helped me get through this nasty day of exam after exam!

so besides those two monster lumpies my face is still red and my old zits are red and brown like chocolate dipped strawberries which are soooo good especially the ones from like...the Godiva store but those are 5 bucks each! which is totally lame so i get one from there like once a year or on our school's monthly Water Tower trip people buy the small ones and i steal them
and there's the blackheads in my nose that seem to have multiplied and are now everywhere!
at least the random bumps on the non-infested parts of my face are gone

i'm skipping this one party and staying home tonight to have a DIY spa night
-hot fudge bubble bath (philosophy products = <3) also to break in my new Victoria's Secret swim suit i have yet to see what it looks like on me cause i ordered it online and definitely do not have double Ds like all those gorgeousss models!
-foot massager machine!
-OPI mani/pedi even though i am sooo bad at painting my right hand
-MAC AND CHEESE with looootss of butter. and then maybe i'll make brownies? those are my top 2 comfort foods! and pizza too, but they take too long to make haha.

myresults_xnow: aww thanksss NICE i'll try that! hahaha happy pills...gotta get those!
kaelyn: thanks for inspiring the spa night! i am sooo looking forward to it, just gonna post this really fast then get in the water! haha
aliass: yep we get next week off! which is awesome, because people usually break out really bad their 3rd week haha. hmmm i would say wear no makeup! but you're a boy and chances are you don't anyways you could tell your derma you're worried about getting scars and a low dose would just get rid of everything...haha i'm afraid i can't help you much there--when i went to see mine i didn't even know what accutane was! she was just like, "do you want to eat a pill" and i was like "sure, why not?"
and WOW you have a crazy long summer break! mine is only 2 months! you luckyyy

Hi Bella!

My dog and I are lounging on the couch reading your accutane adventure and I must say, you are soooooooooooooooooooooooooo AWESOME!!! My dog just looked at me, so that must mean that she wants me to tell you that she thinks so too . I'm contemplating going on accutane, but I'm thinking about doing it when the semester is over and I can hide away in my house like a crazy cat lady. I'll be a crazy accutane lady. I wish you the best of luck!!! I also read that post about your friend who kind of flipped out over health coverage.. What the... RANDOM! I have nooooo idea. Maybe she's like OH NO . Bella will be WAY TOO HOT and steal all of our potential boyfriends, and then she created a strange health care story to cover her REAL story. Who knows! Well, I'm just sitting her, icing a cyst on my chin, enjoying your accutane log. This was the best Friday night read in a long time!

I can't wait for more posts. You are totally awesome. I wish I had a friend like you in highschool! *sigh*!

Well,

Ciao, Bella!!! - And have a great weekend!

love reading your log!
very optimistic-- i love it!

you mentioned that you're a swimmer, i am too!
what events do you usually swim?

Hey Bella

I'm from Hawaii. I'm 27 years old, 5'5, and 130 pounds on 40mg a day with one pill, and on my 20th day with Accutane.
This is my first time ever responding to a blog. Your blog is hilarious and is surprisingly uplifting for a 27 year old like me. Just so you know you are a very positive young woman and you are doing great with your emotions.
Although this is my first time responding to a blog I've been reading a lot of blogs to get advise on the whole Accutane experience.
I'm going to to let you in on a little of my history with Accutane. I've tried everything, I'm one of those people who are really impatient and want results instantly, if not faster.

My regimen has now changed to
-wash my face with Cetaphil w/only COOL water two/three times a day
-use Cetaphil moisturizer only in the morning, and little at night only on the really dry spots
-use Carmex on my lips all day long
-drink lots of water
-Try NOT TO LOOK IN THE MIRROR SO MUCH!!!!
because the constant reminder of the ugly pimples makes you want to pick at them and that just makes things worst.

I want to try the Cetaphil cream in the tub though....I read in a blog that it's pretty good.
I may also try that fish oil pills to because I have noticed my body hurting

My old regimen which I'm positive DOES NOT WORK was
-Wash my face with Cetaphil w/HOT, HOT, HOT, water and sometimes w/a washcloth
No one told me not to use HOT water, I just assumed that cleansed your face better, but in actuality it only irritates it and makes you break out more.
-I didn't even use a moisturizer because I always had really oily skin and my derm once told me I didn't have to. But things must change if your face changes. Surprisingly my skin is actually dry, so the Accutane must be working. So I highly suggest moisturizer.
-My lips, like everyone else is super dry. The only reason why I'm using Carmex is because I always did. Even when I wasn't on Accutane. It's really working for me, I haven't had any cracked, bloody lips.
-I've noticed that my appetite has decreased I think it must be because of the Accutane because I'm usually quite an eater (lucky me though, would be great to lose that measly 5 pounds that never seem to go away, with the stubborn acne) I haven't been really hungry or thirsty recently so I'd forget to hydrate. So lot's of water just makes sence right??
-I did a horrible thing and used topicals which was my old way of getting rid of acne. It's just that my skin got worst while on the Accutane and I figured the benzoyl peroxide will help get rid of the acne but I know it just made my skin worse. It's like my skin is already really sensitive and thin the topical gels are just diminishing whatever is left. So do not use topical gels.
-I live Hawaii so it's really hard not to be in the sun but I HIGHLY stress that you try as hard as possible not to. Last week I went to the beach for about 2 hours with sunscreen and a hat and I still got sunburn, not good for your skin at all when healing acne on accutane.

My skin now after 20 days is still bad, but there are some positive points. I have about 7 bad pimples which is mostly on the right side of my face. I have notices that I'm not as oily as usual, my pores have shrunk, and my hair is not as oily. I've always had a nice head of hair and still looks like I do, with less oil of course.

I hope this helps. Your an awesome example for everyone on here looking for advise on Accutane, including myself. Keep up the blogs I'll be reading up on your progress.

Hawaii808

DAY 13!

i never used to believe the number 13 (or like...friday the 13th, 13th person in line etc) was unlucky...until today!
hellooo, INITIAL BREAKOUT!

so yesterday after my super relaxing spa night i went to bed sooo early and today i got up at like...2 p.m. lol (just because i could because it's SPRING BREAK!!! no saturday morning swims)
and usually after i sleep a lot it's like, woah, smooth skin!
but nooo, today i woke up and was blissfully tangled in my Brookstone cuddle blanket and reached up to brush my bangs outta my eyes and was like WOAH! WHOSE FACE IS THIS??

i officially have 5 random new lumps: upper left forehead, between the eyebrows (oh no!!), above the right eyebrow a little, on my upper right hairline, and right cheek!
and my nose is like a joke, i have never seen so many blackheads in my life! they're all waiting under the skin, probably plotting to come out at the same time so i become like...elephant girl or something hahahaa what sound does an elephant make? ehuhhhhhnhnhnhnhneeeeuuunnn nnehhhhuuuhh hahaha
and lots of random smaller pimples around my face just hanging outtt

makeup can't even cover those up so again i'm just going nude the rest of the week and staying home eating/sleeping/NOT doing beginning of term homework (my teachers are craaazy!)

i'm planning on pretending i'm grounded if my friends get pissed that i don't go partying/drinking/flirting/clubbing/sexing (WOAH it's chicago, all teens are corrupted like that! haha well not really. sorta.) with them anymore because:
A. i will not go drinking because that'll kill my liver with all the pills and stuff i'm taking right now...and eating 10 gummy bear vitamins a day doesn't help...they're so addicting though! and ummm uhhh of course sixteen year olds don't drink! hahahaha
B. that'll mean i'll have to put on makeup!
and C. idk. i don't really have another reason but it's always weird when there's only A and B and it feels empty haha.

hopefully it won't get worse!
i called my derma and she gave the OK on using topical retinols provided they aren't strong. so Green Cream level 3 would be fine, 6 might be painful, and 9 is a NO!
i might just get Philosophy's On a Clear Day Retinol Lotion because it's not that strong and it's from Sephora so if it doesn't work well i can return it (not that i'd really be paying for it anyways...i <3 my aunt!!!) hahaha.

my lips are sooo dry, i woke up and they musta popped or something overnight because there were crazy scabs on them! and my nose hasn't been bleeding but i've been getting bloody boogers lol which is a little creepy but better than gushing blood! FROM MY NOSE for all you smirking people out there

my regimen has changed a little bit from the one i gave you before i started:
AM:
Philosophy Purity Facial Wash
Clinique Moisture Surge gel
Bare Escentuals foundation

AFTER SCHOOL:
Philosophy Purity Facial Wash
a big scoop of Clinique Moisture Surge as a mask

PM:
Philosophy Purity Facial Wash
Philosophy Hope in a Jar
so basically like 4 different products which is a huge step down from my list before! and a looot kinder to my debit card i'm running out of the Clinique stuff but on april 5th the local Macy's is starting its Clinique GWP so i'm gonna wait until then haha. they always have cute bags and lipsticks if you spend over 20 bucks or something!

Polska Laska : awww i'm blushing so much right now! you can't really tell because i'm kinda red already hahaha but thank youuu! you are sooooo nice and i am still smiling hahaa. i'm so glad you like it! (and your dog too! awww what kind do you have??) hahaha crazy cat lady i just thought of Mrs. Figg from Harry Potter
and yeah, that girl totally flipped out! i don't think we're friends anymore because she's just a jealous person hahaha
hope that cyst goes down quickly! *sends anti-cyst vibes*
hope you have a great weekend too!

lets_dance: thank youu! YESS another swimmer! i usually do 2 IM, 100 free and 4 free relay but my coach was a little spaz and put me in the 100 fly a lot last season! i did the 500 once and it was suuuch a joke for offseason i usually skip the meets because they take too long, hahaha. what events do you do? and does it dry out your skin a lot?

hawaii808: hey! aww thank you! i feel so special noww haha
hawaii is sooo amazing and pretty and wonderful! you're so lucky to live there!! (i think my senior break trip is gonna be there next year? i hope so!!!)
thanks for your regimen! i'll try not looking into mirrors so much (i am sooo paranoid, i have a pink pop up one in my pocket always and i'll randomly check out my spots and be terrified haha)
the fish oil pills have helped a lot--i remember not taking them one night, running the mile the next day in gym and being soooo sore! so that would be a good idea.
thanks for the hot water heads up! i thought that would help too, maybe open the pores a little more? but guess not, no wonder it hurts so much! haha.
nice! i wish my appetite decreased, but its done the opposite! all i do is eat eat eat! then exercise my butt off so i can stay in shape and continue modeling if the accutane works out hahahaha do you have any pointers on how to drink enough water each day? it's so hard! lol
the tip about the sun couldn't have come at a better time! i was plotting in my head the benefits and antibenefits (wow i definitely can't think of the word right now!) of going TANNING (!!!) and although there was more bad than good i was gonna be sneaky and run off to tan but now i think i'll stick with the self-tanners and not fry my skin!
hope those pimples go down!

thanks for reading!!!

it's all freestyle for me baby!
i usually swim 50 free and the 500. i actually don't mind the 500! and it's easier to drop time too. my coach has been putting me in the 200 a lot lately though, which i hateeee. it's horrible to pace!! and my legs get really dry, all scaly and nasty. my face doesn't get too dry; it all depends on the amount of chlorine in the water. i make sure to keep a huge bottle of cetaphil in my swimbag though!

DAY 14-15!

hey everyone! sorry no update yesterday--i went to the mall with the sis, did some crazy shopping (well mostly just looking/trying stuff on/snitching samples hahaha. i only ended up with a 5 or 6 bags this time!) and was exhausted when i got home!
i know, i said i wasn't going out but there was this huuuuge sale at Express and i really need spring clothes
i didn't wear thaaat much makeup though! just moisturizer and a little bit of powder for some even-ness and curled my eyelashes and some Smashbox Photo-op brightener right above my eyes where there are zero spots! so the huge cysts were still snarling at the world but i didn't really care--i was on a mission! (cute clothes = <3)

sooooo...synopsis of yesterday's shopping adventure:
first stop: Sephora! i went in (without any makeup on, the horrors! the white lights and beautiful people in there were kinda intimidating...) and snitched some Hope in a Jar SPF 20 sample packets and this tub of Kinerase Clarifying mask which i haven't used yet because it looks just like mud hahaha. the ladies were staring at my face and i was just staring at them back daring them to say something negative about my face and totally gloating at how awkward they were acting!
bella, 1-world, 0

then we walked by the GODIVA STORE after stopping in Bebe and that one other store (white house market? white market black house? white house black market?) and the strawberries that i actually talked about a couple days ago were staying right up at meeee begging me to eat them so i just haaad to go in it was either one huge one for 6.75 or 4 small ones for 8.50 so i got a cone of small ones and totally felt guilty when trying on dresses at Forever21 haha.
bella, 1-world, 1

i really wanted to try the Murad Spot Lightening Gel but it's sooo expensive! $60 for 1oz!!!) my options were:
A. go to CO Bigelow and buy it for $60 and 10% tax
B. go to Ulta and buy it for $60 and 8.75% tax
none of those really sounded appealing to me at all so i went to CO Bigelow, took one of those 0.3 oz sample jars from next to the sink, and secretly filled it to the top with the serum! hahaha. i felt so sneaky but hey, isn't that what the jars are there for?!?
bella, 2-world, 1
after spending so much time in there this saleslady convinced me to get their new lemon/pomegranate lip cream which was on sale for 5 bucks...
ohmygod it tastes sooo good! i've been applying it every couple minutes and my lips have been doing great
it helps a lot because i have this weird crack thing between my top and bottom lip that opens when i open my mouth and bleeds but now that i keep putting the yummy stuff on it stays moisturized!
and then it was just clothes and accessories time and the skin was forgotten. but i won! so yayyy! i can beat this beast of acne after all

after my face exploded on day 13 there hasn't been anything new creepin up on me
they're still huge and red and painful though! i pulled some stuff outta my nose with tweezers (ewwwww) and this morning it was actually dry! lips are still killer dry so i have to keep putting stuff on alll the time. i've been getting scaly ankles too but the Aquaphor is helping a lot
i iced the spots this morning and they weren't as red the rest of today! the one in my eyebrow looks like it's about to pop (nast) and the other ones haven't really come to a tip yet. i think i'm gonna steam my face tonight to speed up the purging process!

that's about it! see you tomorrow!

LMAO! I LOVEEE SHOPPING! I LOVE AMERICA! I have to do all my shopping online... Canada has *zero* good stores .

DAY 16!

hey everyone!
so guess what...along with the pain-in-the-ass IB my face is suuuper sensitive right now!
i was moisturizing this morning after i woke up and everything stung sooo badly and my face turned really red! which was weird because that's never happened before.
so i tried to solve that and remembered what i used to do with Retin-A and so i washed my face and waited 10 minutes to moisturize and it didn't hurt as much but still turned a beaaautiful shade of red haha and really shiny toooo eeeek idk what happened.
i decided not to use a retinol after all because my skin's already soo sensitive and i don't want it to get any worse!

the lumpies are still being annoying--the one above my eyebrow isn't really there anymore but it's just raised and red (??), the one on my hairline blew up and is trying to calm down and all the other ones are stilll cookin
blackheads still there EXCEPT my nose is sooo dry right now! so maybe they'll all dry out and fall out by themselves??? hahaha. i wish!
and the rest of my face is so ROUGH! i feel like i need some sandpaper...ouch haha

in other news, i made cheesecake today! it tastes a little funny because i added wayyy too much sugar or something but it's cool because i didn't think it would work at all! the cream cheese was melting too fast and i though i'd end up with cheese soup haha

we had Chinese food for dinner tonight which was amazinggg and i think i'll be having it more in the future because have you noticed the Asians at your school all have super skin? i asked before and my friend said it was because she had loooots of vegetables and seafood for each meal...maybe i'll try that!

aww corey. online shopping is pretty cool though! no tax rightt?
goodnighttttt!

I know what you mean...it happened to me too a few times...just be gentle and don't put any added creams/lotions/water on you skin...my advice is less=more



Chessecake yummy!! What I would give for a piece of cheesecake right now but I can't I gave junk food up for lent, plus I am trying to change my diet and lose 5 pounds...I'm going to Italy next month and my butt is getting into a swimsuit!!!!

OMG--I <3 chinese food...I've also heard that it is good for you--as long as you don't fill it up with soy sauce and all those fun things...not sure if you like it, but I also suggest sushi--it's supposed to be super for your diet! Ok, I am not talking about food anymore....bad idea

XOXOXOX my dear...I hope those pesky bumps will c their way off your pretty face soon!!!

Glad to see things are going well for you....yeah canada is awesome:)....my school is pretty ghetto with fights and races but nothing compared to us....ill follow your log..
And a tip on fasting....try to get a blood test appointment in the morning so you can have dinner in the early evening and then just go to bed lol....its what I did

Hot baths (or hot fudge baths in ur postition) = death.


Hot anything like messes with your skin so hard dude, stick to, warm. Usually ill shower ill have a warm shower then turn it cold the last like 10 seconds, closes up all your pores and wakes you up (but it really sucks).

DAY 17!

happy hump day! hope your week has been going well
i stayed home all day today i <3 spring break!!! i'm getting a ridiculous amount of sleep each nightt haha.

i got 3 new large bumps today that are suuuuper painful and right on my forehead! i've been keeping my bangs pinned up so they don't add oil to the spots and cause them to get worse.
i'm still really sensitive so i diluted my Clinique moisturizer with some Evian and put on a little of that in the morning (technically afternoon since i woke up sooo late heehee) and then washed/did the same thing after dinner--it didn't sting at all so yay!
it's sooo tempting to rub some BP or something on the spots but i heard it makes them dry out brown so i'm just leaving them alone...for now if they get any worse then maybe i'll put some sulfur or something on just to calm them down.

i have a new set of lips as of today! haha allll the skin just kinda peeled off so they're a little raw but it's nothing i can't handle!

anyways. i watched a musical today on TV! it's called Spectacular! (my favorite word haha) and it's intended for teenagers but probably only watched by small kids it was cute though! the leads are both pretty good singers and everyone in the movie has amazingg skin and well-moisturized lips hahahahaha i was soo onto that...people didn't even have scars!

OH i started my self-tanning adventure today!!
i asked the nearest tanning place and they were like...no you idiot there is no way to not tan your face and just tan your body!
the one i'm using smells bad and has these weird sparkles in it so i ordered some Caribbean Gold Wild Thing bronzer (supposed to be used with tanning beds but whaaatever ) which supposedly has overnight results! as long as it comes before school starts i'll be happy...i don't want to be the pasty white girl next to all the other girls at school who have houses and stuff in Florida/California or go the the Bahamas to tan for a weekend each month etc etc etc

efitalian82: your replies always make me smile you are such an awesome personnnn!!!
you're so lucky you're going to Italy! all the Italian women will be like...who is this beautiful person with perfect skin?
mmmm sushi it's sooo good! have you ever been to a Todai buffet? alll Japanese food! sushi, miso soup, stir fry mmmmm

JuStChIlLiN: hey! thanks for the tip! i'll make sure i have a morning one next time
and yayy, same day buddies!

Blax: heehee i've heard that too so i had a warm bath (hot baths bug me because i'm usually in refreshingly cold water for swimming!) that was hot fugde flavored(??)/scented haha.
that's a good idea! i'll try turning it cold next time...sounds a lil painful though! haha

thanks for all your replies!!

Haha I watched borat again (5th time I think....have lost count) today with a couple of buds....as for the bumps, just face wash regularly and dont touch them!! (lol gross..I know, but its tempting)

DAY 18!

when will this madness end???
i seriously have like...10 flaming actives on my face right now and they hurt soooo much. and school starts again next week aghhh!! i'm still really red and oily (???) and i am just kinda sick of my face right now hahaha. i looked at it literally twice today because it scares me

hopefully this'll end soonnnn!
i'm going on a college visit tomorrow so i can't even stay home and hide my face from the public haha
what's funny is that they're all flaking too which is soooo weird (pus filled=flaky??)

my arms were pretty tan today! (thank you, self tanner!!) but i forgot my fingers so they're really white and stand out sooo much. the weather here is rainy/cloudy/CRAPPY the rest of the week so i can't do it naturally (not that i would, because of this supersensitive face!)

anyways.
NEW FAVORITE THING TO DO=CRUMPING!
i love dancing
and i have to admit....i'm pretty crumptastic!
must be a chicago girl thing
if you don't know what it is look it up on youtube...they have some pretty chiiiilll moves there! i downloaded all this music today and just danced for a couple hours straight haha
...and now i'm really sore! i had this whole nice-abs thing going on during swim season but it kinda disappeared and maybe now it'll come back?? i wish!

JuStChIlLiN: oh.my.god. it is sooo tempting! that is my #1 goal this next month: have enough willpower not to pick at my spots!
hahahah Borat is hilarious! i laughed so hard i cried it's pretty classic...almost like Mean Girls classic if you know what i meann!

goodnight guys!

Aww..I'm sorry you're going through some nasty IB But it makes you that much closer to clear skin!!! yay!!!

Have fun on your college visit! Where are you looking??

and P.S. I don't think crumping is a chicago girl thing, because if you saw me crump you would be on the floor because you were laughing ridiculously hard at me. But hey, that would give you nice abs, right?

Crumping eh....looked it up on youtube....haha you should put a vid up of you doing it so we can get pointers on how to start ....too bad for me though the backpain is killing my regime but then thats okay because its worth it
As for mean girls....havent watched it any gud?

Sucks that you got an IB....but its actually a positive thing because you know the accutane is working and pushing the oils out of your skin, drying the oil producing gland (sebum gland if im not wrong)....yeah just dont touch them and apply moisturizer frequently....oh and also next time you visit a pharmacy store to pick up chapstick or accutane be sure to check out Tersaseptic. It is a soap/shampoo made specifically for acne (antibacterial face wash you can call it) and my derm said its fine to take it with accutane:) I've been using it since I started accutane and it does help clear up.
Word of caution though: if you are goanna use tersaseptic, apply moisturizer right after you finish your shower/bath because wherever you apply it, it'll get fricken dry as HELL.

Other than that, My best wishes to you as always and keep updating