All the Lounge Threads Are Messed Up For Me

They show that they are only one page, and its usually one reallyyyyy long page (since they were usually 4-5 pgs etc). Sometimes its too long and I can't even view the newest replies, and some show that they have multiple pages once you click on the thread but each page is a duplicate. I tried switching to the other format but its still the same.


Example of what I'm talking about

http://img443.imageshack.us/img443/7255/picture6nd2.png

http://img443.imageshack.us/img443/8468/picture7af0.png

http://img27.imageshack.us/img27/3755/picture8ut9.png

Kind of had a revelation

:edit

Dissatisfied with life among other things

I am so dissatisfied with my life, it may look like I have a great life but I have nothing. Sure I may be living away from home in southern California, going to a great film school, has a nice car, nice clothes, mostly clear face etc but in reality I have NOTHING. I have no friends at all down here, I don't even know if the people at school even like me or talk shit behind my back. I don't have a girlfriend, no one to talk to, all my friends are over an hour away, I sit on the computer because the only people who I can talk to are over the internet, I'm paying 30k a year for something I don't even know if I'll ever make it in, and the only girl who I truely am in love with is two and a half hours away, I hardly ever see and is three years younger then me. MAYBE we'll get together in three years, but who knows... thats a long time.

I hate socal, I hate everyone here, I hate the same weather everyday, I hate the traffic, I hate the cost, I hate the smog, I hate everything down here. The only reason I'm still here is because I want to finish school... I quit then I'm worthless for throwing away the only chance I have at this... and the other reason is her... Coincidentally my school is three years long, and I know if I quit I'll end up going back home for good and I will hardly ever see her again. She's the perfect girl, everything that I could have ever wanted or dreamed is right there, I just have to hold on. But I don't know if I can do this anymore. I'm depressed everyday, I can't stop thinking about her, it consumes me. The fact that she mostly feels the same way makes it worse. I can't concentrate, I'm depressed at how sad my life is. I have no outlet for my frustrations and it all builds up. I don't want to become some cold person, who hides emotion to escape the pain, or start using drugs to dull it. On my quest to deal with it and wait, I don't want to become something she doesn't like. Then I will truely be lost.


It may seem like I'm overreacting, but I'm not. Sure there are other girls I think are cute, and I may like but no one compares. People search for that ONE person, that one special person, the only one in the whole world, that one perfect match. I happened to find mine. I know it may sound weird, but I have known this girl for ten years. I've been best friends with her brother since fourth or fifth grade, as a kid she would never give me the time of day, but I always had a crush on her and there was just something special about her. The three of us grew up, I was still best friends with her brother and whenever I would see her she would say hi and give me a coy smile. Then they moved at the end of 8th grade to San Diego. Me and her brother kept in touch, he would come up a few times a year because of family stuff and we would hang. I got a chance at going to film school in southern california... and within the last year and a half me and her have gotten close.

You know maybe everything happens for a reason. Maybe there's a reason I didn't succumb to the depression in high school, the reason I didn't go to San Jose State, the reason I didn't enlist in the military, the reason I didn't spin out and die on that lonely country road, the reason I went to Brooks, the reason why I've been so miserable most of my life... Was it all to see the light at the end of the tunnel? Was it all leading me to this? To the one person who I could possibly be truely happy with? Who knows. Or maybe I'm destined to live a sad, lonely, unfulfilled life. Only time will tell.





Sorry for this super long and probably boring post. I do feel better after writing all that though

Yay! Cooked my first REAL meal!

I got tired of microwave dinners and decided to make some real food . I moved out and have been living in my apartment with my roommates for about three months and this is the first time I've actually cooked a ACTUAL meal. I'm so proud








Its cooling off, can't wait to sit down and eat it while watching Harold and Kumar go to Whitecastle

Been Depressed Lately

I dunno, I used to be pretty well liked/known at school and whatnot back in highschool in the bay area. Now that I moved to SoCal, I've been kinda depressed because I don't fit in anywhere. I mean, back home there weren't any racial "groups". Everyone kinda just hung out with everyone, since we all grew up around/with pretty much every ethnicity. My big group of friends had white guys, asians, hispanics, asians, blacks, pretty much everything. But down here there are like these groups that you have to stay in, and I feel so alienated.

I'm not mexican enough to hang with the Mexican group, I didn't grow up watching Telemundo and stuff like that and I don't speak Spanish, I'm not in touch with the culture. I not asian enough to hang with the asians since I'm only 1/4 Filipino and theres almost no asians where I live. I can't really hang with the white guys either, I always feel like the odd man out. I dunno. As much as I love being here, the weather is great, the coastal scenery is beautiful, and school is a lot of fun but I just don't feel like I belong You see all the little groups of people and then there's me... I just don't fit in anywhere down here...