need to vent...

I just need to vent....so i was supposed start accutane in august but chickened out and decided to postpone my appointment for the blood test until september... my skin was doing pretty good this summer even though i stopped taking doxy because it was making me feel sick. I was taking zinc and b vitamins. Aside from one or two major pimples and few small spots, things were manageable. I was going out more and even dating! Now im a few weeks away from starting accutane...scared beyond belief. Im just waiting for a second blood test and results before the derm sends the prescrption in. But I broke out soooo badly this week with a heaping inflamed puss filled pimple smack in the middle of my cheek and a few small cysts around my mouth. I am working and going to school and have internship interviews coming up...so many people to meet and make a good impression on and i just feel myslef slowly retreating from the world again. I am anticipating the worst side effects from the accutane...i am so scared to take this med but so fed up of all the oil, acne, money spent and useless products that probably make my skin worse and most of all my lack of self-confidence. There are so many things I want to accomplish and things I know I want to do but don't because of acne!

unconcerned derm

So I just had my derm visit and I had a million questions to ask about accutane. My derm was really blaze about it and kept reassuring my that its the best medication out there. He didnt really warn me about side effect and I didnt have to sign an Ipledge which I keep reading about. I'm wondering if I should be concerned that he was so unconcerned. He said he has been treating patients with accutane for 20 years never saw an extreme case of side effects. Anyway, I have to wait till august to go on it since he says June and July are when the sun is too strong. I guess I'll wait...until then I'm going back on Doxy, using Retin A and going to try and get my hands on some of that "get gorgeous" tea....i'll try anything at this point.

My Story

Like many of you, I've suffered from acne since my teenage years and I'm now in my late 20's and have found myself stuck between a rock and a hard place when it come to contolling my acne. For a while I had it under wraps as I was taking the oral contraceptive pill (Diane-35) and using proactive solution. I still had breakouts but it was manageable. It was not until I was diagnosed with a bloodclot after a long plane ride and placed on blood thinners that I had to go off the pill for good. As a result of going off oral contraceptives my hormones fluctated and I started breaking out like crazy...really bad cystic acne on my chin mainly, but very deep and painfully infected cysts (which left scars). Not only was I suffering from the side effects from the blood thinners/blood clot, my acne sent me into depression. It was the lowest I have ever felt. In addition, I started breaking out in deep pimples on my back...something I've never experience before now. So here I am reaching out to whoever is listening! I went to a private derm who suggested accutane but I put if off in fear of everything I've read about permanent side-effects. I'd like to try it but not if it means acquiring premature osteoperosis, hair and vision loss, liver problems and everything else I've read on this discussion board. The other option is laser treatment...I have another appointment in a month and I have to make a decision on my next course of action....Any suggestions?