my teacher wants me to write an essay on how acne effected me

Im in a senior in high school and joined honors essay and inquiry class a couple days late.
She told me to write an essay about myself so I did.
I didn't think others would be peer editing this I just thought it was for her to get to know us better. I started out by saying "I am at a time in my life where I can proudly and immodestly say that I am happy with who I am."
Later, wrote a paragraph:
Whoever said "People are most ashamed of things they cannot help" had an image issue. Its stupid to be so worried about your appearance, but when you feel like shit, you treat yourself like that. Then you end up going through seventh grade feeling like an ugly piece of shit. You don't want to have friends because you don't deserve any and anybody willing to be your friend is too good for you anyway. Your face hurts because its grotesque, your body shakes because you worry , and everything just hurts.
By looking at me know, you wouldn't know I'd had such an issue. Im happy I can grow from the experience because now I'm not an asshole that calls others "pizza face" or fugly"

then she crossed out some stuff and made it look like "Now, I'm not pizza face or fugly" and said "how did if feel to be called that?" I told her I never was called that, and shes like "did you call yourself that?" then i told her " I just dont' like it when people make negative comments about others appearance because, they can't help it and I knew how they feel. Then I started crying and she told me in that paragraph that I was dancing around a topic and not getting in deph about it and why I felt that way. So i weakly told her that i wasn't happy and i had acne and it was hard. Then we talked some more, I told her I was happy with myself now, more confident and I dont' feel that way anymore but she said it was obvious, a topic like that made me feel vulnerable and can effect me in my future. So she sent a message to my counselor where i can choose to show up or not.
Im not gonna show up.
She also really would like me to write a essay about the acne before the semester ends because it would be a very strong piece. And it would help others relate and w.e
But I honestly don't want to. I dont' want to go back there.

Damnit

This year i've been as ridiculously clear as i can believe. people say my skin looks wayy better and i've been out doing things like i don't even have scars or low self esteem.
The last couple of weeks I haven't been living a good lifestyle for my body. My sleep clock is way off and usually i can't fall asleep till 6am and i would sleep till maybe 2. I've been partying a bit and drinking crap juice with other drinks... and not sleeping with my face on clean pillow cases lol.
Anyway i've kinda been seeing this guy (friends with benefits) and we haven't seen each other for like 2 weeks and the last couple of days i've been texting trying to see him. never in my life have i been so forward with a guy. I told him we should hang out before thursday and he said sure just let me know whenever.

This morning I look at my face and i have these terrible ugly red/purple spot marks on the side of my cheek from a few pimples, plus i've been picking at them even tho i know its bad. The last time hes seen me, i looked really good and was acne free. I honestly will not let him see me like this. I never thought i could get a guy of this standard [hes older, great body, very hot, funny, popular] and he has like no acne or any scars! My favorite part about him is that hes not embarrassed of me or anything, he would invite me to partys or bonfires with his friends. But now we're growing apart and he doesn't do that anymore, and i know honestly we're going no where because hes leaving in like 2 months for the airforce but still I don't want him to remember me like this.
Basically im kinda ashamed of my face. and yeah i know if he can't accept me for some spots hes not worth it, honestly hes not. but still. it sucks

I think I've had the same bacne bumps for like 4 years

Can somebody please help me.
Every damn day I get up earlier in the morning to wash my back and chest, put on toner wait a lil bit then put on bp. then i do the same thing at night. I've gotten to a point where it seems maintained, like im not really growing any new bumps on my back. But i still have these under the skin acne bumps that have haunted me forever! Im talking about, over 2 years they have been there, I dont know what to do. I can deal with the discolorations left but the bumps are so frustrating!
At school I see all these girls wear pretty tank tops that I sadly buy only to wear with a cardigan to cover my back. I don't own any dresses because many of the pretty ones show the parts of my back that has those disgusting bumps. I haven't been to the local pool in about 5 years and sure as hell don't own a bathing suit. Sometime soon, my outdoor rec class is going to the pool for water polo and i don't know what to do, i dumbly got my hair cut shorter so it would be hard to hide it with my hair. Did i mention my outdoor rec class has only 2 other girls? The rest are guys which will make me feel more self conscious...suck.

Please suggest something for those under the skin bumps.

Confidence Boosters

2 stories:
This guy i sit next to in class he looks really pretty. Hes from s.america and has long eyelashes and nice colored skin...anyway we're friends in class. So in class i was reading a pamplet about transgender people since we had a speaker about it in the Gay straight alliance club. this other guy i sit next to is kinda gullible and was asking why i was reading it. and i told him it was because i was transgender (just to fool him). And he was like "wahhtt?". Then i tried to convince my pretty guy friend. He didn't beleive me and was like "that would be weird if you were" and im like "why? would that make you uncomfortable? im still the same person" then he was like "well then it would be like 'I checked out a guy" and i was like "who?"then he says "you" me "YOU checked me out?"
I was very suprised. This guy who i use to have a crush on. Who every time i see I want to hold his hand, has checked me out? But he said he checks out everybody, but still i never really think of guys doing that to me, i mean my friends of course will tell me im pretty and sometimes i hear it from guys but since my esteem is still low from having severe acne and scars, I still feel so inferior. it felt nice to hear

ok so i've been noticing this guy one year younger than me. Last year he had severe acne on his cheeks, but he still got a girlfriend and had friends and i thought that was cool. this year he just has deep acne scars (im thinking he got accutane but idk). I think hes really attractive, and I want to talk to him but i never had. So i told my friend who talks to him and his friends and told her to tell him I think hes cute.
She got back to me today and said "so i told him my friend thinks hes cute and hes like 'REALLY?! awww, tell her that just made my day' yeah he had a big smile and was really happy about it"
she didn't tell him who it was yet, i hope if she does, than maybe he could see me in the halls and be like "hey she thinks im cute, i'll have confidence to maybe wave at her or something..." i kinda think that i like that he has acne scars.
anyway im glad i made his day

So seriously, even if you feel like shit im sure there is somebody out there you have not suspected that thinks your attractive, acne or no acne.

Am I taking this too personally?

I feel as though i've been stood up. and it hurts alot.
the first time i put myself out there. i was blunt
we were texting, i told him my favorite class is autos because i like cars and i get to see him. the next day i was gonnna ask him to a dance but i got two pimples. when class ended i could tell he was waiting for me so we could walk out together but i didn't get up. i didn't ask him to a dance because i didn't want him looking at my gross face. then my friend told me within the next period, another girl asked him and he said yes. might i mention that this girl is very desirable, and flirtatious, oh and she also doesn't like me, but she doesn't know i like him.

anyway after school i called him and said" ok well by now you probly know that i like you, and i was gonna ask you to sadies today but i didn't really wanna go...and i just found out another girl asked you, but do you want to hang out sunday?he says yeah if its alright with my mom. then i say "okay just give me a call". anyway today is sunday. and he never called. I told myself not to get my hopes ups but i made myself look decent, i did my hair, face w.e. but he never got back to me.
this just reminds me of another guy that i use to like that sometimes forgot about me. Anyway i don't like him anymore because if he forgets about me, to me it means he doesn't like me enough to remember me. i mean if something is important, you remember it right?

tomorrow i have to see him in the morning again.
and as i was writing this he texted me saying "sorry i couldn't hang out today"
geez way ta go, why couldn't you tell me that sooner.
am i taking this to personally?
oh yeah and we went out in middleschool but i dumped him because he was too scared to talk to me. but now that i see him after like two years. hes like hot...and talks to me more.