My Derm Poped my zits "the right way"

So I went in to my appointment and e did a laser facial. but before he did that he "extracted" my zits...

WTF? i have been trying so hard not to touch them things and here he comes with his big fat fingers and pops them ALL!!!

I asked him if it would cause scarring and he let his assistant answer by saying
"when you pop your own zits you push th bacteria back down, but when HE does it he pushes them from underneath."

Ok...

so i went home with huge scabs. By the way some of the pimples he poped hadnt enven come to a head. They were just sore red bumps, and somehow he was able to push the fuck out of them all the sebum he could....

Then I got scabs, and guess what??? every scab grew a fucking white head underneath. I washed my face just now and one really huge one started oozing more sebum and bleeding like a volcano. And I KNOW its not done, becasue the pore still sits on a huge rock hard mountain and it's surrounded by more little zits. Thanks Derm. you just gave me MORE scars. THis is the guy who gave me Fraxel to reverse scarring a few months ago... so I hope he knows what he is doing, but how can this be any different. In my experience, a volcano like that is gonna leave a mark... a huge one.

So anyways, what to do when a zit is poped and blood starts oozing out. what do i put on it?

There is something wrong with me

So for a time, I thought I had completely beat acne. I was running, quit smoking, eating health, no gluten, no wheat, no sugar, no processed foods, I took vitamins, had a good regimen and so on. When acne cleared up, I was left with red marks. As these marks faded, it left me with scars. These scars I know now that will go away. I’ve realized that when there is a red mark, its texture is a little different. Its harder tissue and sits at a lower level than the healthy skin around it. Anyways, I was so emotionally scarred from acne that I still felt all the ugliness without the acne. I got fraxel.

I spent $3,000 on 4 treatments, and things were looking well. Even so, I became completely obsessed with my face. No mater what it looks like, I want it to look better and better. I would occasionally catch my reflection on a car window and get this sick feeling. My face looked destroyed, it was red even without acne (more like a blush from fraxel). I noticed that the skin on my face didn’t match the skin on my neck or arms, and that made me really scared. Sometimes when I would walk to class I would wear huge sunglasses thinking they would cast a shadow on my face so my scars, or better yet uneven texture, could be less visible.

I have a class at noon where you have to walk through this hallway that has a glass wall on one side. The bluish white light would come in through that window and hit my face at just the right angle, or should I say wrong angle. As I approach the door at the end of the hallway I catch my reflection on a little glass part of the door. My face looks like shit.

As I enter the class I am still picturing my ugly face. This class is a lecture. The lights are off for the projection on the wall. Above the students heads we have little lights so that we can see our notes. Well, these lights I feel cast harsh shadows. I spent a lot of the time in that class looking around at other people and try to see their skin imperfections. I wonder what my face looks like under those harsh lights, and I can’t get my mind of it. I have no clue what the significance of studying the fucking Egyptians is. Did THEY have acne? I bet not. The pyramids prevented acne right?

So at that point, I didn’t have acne, just uneven texture, large pores... basically the skin of someone who has had acne recently and no one else can tell nor cares, but I cant get over it. I heard that doing chemical peels make the face appear smoother. I tried lactic acid when I read it was the mildest peel and that it stimulated collagen. Sweet. Ill do that. Also at the same time I ordered this from a website, I ordered a lot of other things (snail serum, emu oil, castor oil, tea tree oil, sulfur cream, zinc oxide cream, hydrocortisone cream, green tea mask, aloe very gelee, and probably more that I cant remember).

The stuff came in. I did a peel, and it was fine. 4 days later I tried another peel and put all of these creams together in hope that they would heal me right, and left it overnight. I woke up, scrubbed my face to get these things off and noticed that I had zits again. These zits though where huge, really inflamed ones. I don’t even know how to describe them. They are really deep in my skin, so how could it be clogged pores. Wouldn’t a cream clog a pore on the surface? I don’t know. I’m really confused. I also had an enema the night before. Could it be that the enema angered the bacteria in my intestines and planted acne on my face? Arrrg.

So this happened on.. Thursday. Oh I also went to the Panda Garden and had a Chinese buffet of really gross sugary foods. Afterwards, I got really tired and even depressed. I think it even made my acne more inflamed. Friday I came home to my parent’s house. Saturday was my birthday. I turned 22 and I had the worse day of my life. All I did was hang out with my family and ate ice cream and brownies. My friend Katie was working that day so I didn’t really have a reason to leave my house.

At night, I washed my face. BTW I wear make up on my zits even though I’m a male. After washing it my face looked really red and gross. Zits pulsing. I noticed that one red inflamed spot had three white heads. What the hell? I began to cry. My family didn’t seem to notice, but I wanted them to see. I feel really embarrassed about this part, but I was so hopeless, I felt I needed help. I thought about ways to die. I didn’t want to commit suicide because that would cause pain to my family. But really I just wanted to die. I started thinking of ways that I could end it, like a car accident or drounning. Oh by the way, its not that I wanted to die because of acne. The acne gave me a panic attack and I felt so low and so scared, I didn’t know what to do. If something as silly ad acne could make me feel so bad, there was no reason for me to live. I was damaged, inadequate as a human being, broken. Anyways, that’s what my mind was telling me.



My mom didn’t understand what was happening to me. In my family, you are not allowed to have problems. You just suck it up and be a man. So my mom told me I was making her angry and threatened me with committing me to a mental hospital. Threatened. That's right. Threatened. If someone commits me, I would think it would be to help me. Sort of like a gift, not a punishment for being mentally ill. That pissed me off.

I called my friend Katie. She was out of work by then. I told her I was afraid to be borderline suicidal and that my mom threatened me with... you know. She came over right away and we had a cigarette. ­­­ Katie thought that if I really wanted to, she would drive me to the hospital. I didn’t think it was necessary. I knew I was having a panic attack that would go away.

God, I don’t even want to keep writing as I feel like the panic never left. That happened last night, and although I’m not planning ways to die, I don’t really want to do anything. I have class tomorrow and I have to leave my parents house for my apartment. I don’t think ill be able to make it to class. Im more scared than ever.


Lately I've been skipping classes. I’ll get up on time and all, and stand by the door. Thought rush trough my mind so fast that I don’t even know where to begin to calm myself down. I get scared and freeze, or play dead like a possum. Then I curl in to a ball and go back to sleep.

There is something incredibly wrong with me, and I’m sick of friends and family telling me I'm fine. I am not. Did you hear? I repeat. I am not fine, and there is something wrong with me. I need help.




wow freaking long

my face is on FIRE

So Ive gone through, Benzoyl Peroxide, non aproved internet only bought creams. Ive had fraxel, and mild lactic acid chemical peels. Im also trying emu oil, and snail secretion on my face. The thing is that I get really hot in the face and dont know if its because my skin is irritated or if i have an illnes, food allergy or unbalanced hormones. I also heard it could be anxiety. Anyways, I think I could rule out irritation only because my ears get really hot to. A woman at work told me it sounded like a hot flash... Im male. Could I still get hot flashes?
any feedback?

Absolute Acne Info (guide)

http://www.absoluteacneinfo.com/guide.html

there is a link to the site. It explains it all.
Just trying to get ppls opinions.




Oh and also read the politics of sugar. It sounds like sugar is a conspiracy.
here's the link:
http://www.naturalnews.com/009797.html

Fraxel. When Can I exfoliate?

I just finished my las fraxel 3 weeks ago, and I want to know if I can exfoliate yet, or do a light chemical peel for the extra dead skin. anyone know?