this helps me sometimes

You know how many people that we look up to and stuff have had acne?

I was watching the Woodstock video (Hendrix's show) and I noticed that Jimi Hendrix had acne scars. I was like, 'holy shit, Jimi Hendrix had acne?' It made me feel like I connected to him in a whole different way, and I did some research (to see if it was actually acne) and I found a whole list of celebrities/musicians and etc. that suffered from acne. Some of it severe.

Jimi Hendrix was actually self conscious about his acne scars, and when he showed up in Europe besides his clothes and guitar he had a little bottle of acne cream which he apparently used religiously. So thats an obvious indicator that it bothered him probably a lot.

I'm not posting this to say 'hey lets make fun of celebrities with acne so we can feel better about ourselves' but I'm saying that to realize that normal people like Jimi Hendrix suffered from acne and then were loved by everybody it shows that they made it through it and so will you, and it also shows that just cause you have acne doesn't mean you can't go onstage and play a right handed guitar left handed like a weirdo and play with your tongue and teeth and under your legs and behind your head and all that fancy shit in front of thousands of people.

Jerry Garcia grew his bushy beard because he wanted to hide his acne scars, did ya know?

Brad Pitt who is considered one of the sexiest men alive had acne as a teen.

Loads of people. It just makes me feel better to look at some of my heroes and see that they went through the same shit as me.

Another thing that comforts me is one of my other heroes, Brother IZ, a hawaiian musician. He suffered from severe depression due to his obesity (he was pretty big) and yet he got over it and lived his life happily until he died (from morbid obesity) and made some of the most positive music and lived on eof the most positive lives of anybody that I've ever known about or read about.

Idk, figured I'd share that. It helps me.

how do you guys cook your chicken

I'm starting to think sauteeing and stir-frying aren't the best options for acne sufferers due to oils being heated to high temperatures which destroys their health benefits. Am I right or wrong about this?

What would be the most acne-friendly way to cook chicken/fish? It seems like everytime I cook chicken at super high heats (stir fry/sauteeing) I break out the next day, but when I cook fish in a pan at moderate-low heat I don't break out. Connection??

Broiling, grill, rotisserie? Whats the best way do you guys think?

Do these condiments generally cause acne?

Do things like fermented foods or sauces from fermented foods cause acne in some of you guys?

For example pure tamari and fish sauce?

Also, would rice wine or sake cause acne? I would assume it would but if I used it in small amounts for asian sauces when stir frying does anyone see any problems occuring?

**BTW** I'm not asking if these will cause me acne, I'm just wondering if they can possibly cause bad breakouts like sugary foods or gluten or etc.
thanks

murky piss

For the past week(?) or so my piss has been cloudy/muddy/murky. It has been either a 'clear' murky or the typical yellow with a murky or dirty undertone color to it.

It seemed to happen after I did a few enemas (god damn enemas) but I'm not sure if thats the problem. I also stopped taking my supplements recently.

Can any of you try and help me out figuring out what this is?

I hope it'll go away soon cause the last thing I need is to go to the doctor..

Everything seemed to be going so well

Everything was going so well. Since February my face was slowly but surely clearing and getting so much better. It's hard to even write this thinking back just a few months how well my skin was. Out of nowhere...ever since prom..my skin has been breaking out horribly and its been inflamed and awful and I don't know what to do. My diet seemed to stop working, maybe its because I stopped supplementing, I tried coffee enemas, water enemas, a liver flush..nothing has helped. My forehead is breaking out now..i never break out there. I feel so ugly and disgusting and horrible. My girlfriend who I've been dating over 4 months now doesn't seem to care but she's the only reason I care about my acne. If I wasn't with her I wouldn't even care about how other people saw me. She's the only person in the entire world who I try to look at least presentable to and I've tried SO HARD. It makes me cry to think about how hard I try, the DRASTIC changes I've made to my life (and I mean drastic, from COMPLETELY changing my diet [NOTHING AT ALL besides raw fruits, veg, and chicken/fish], to squirting fucking coffee up my ass, drinking nasty oils, to purging liver stones to putting yellow staining turmeric powder on my face and egg whites and lemon juice and what the fuck have you), and to no avail. God damn it..I'm so desperate that I'm ON THE VERGE OF DRINKING MY OWN PISS.

I notice when we lay together and she moves the hair back from my face and strokes my face when I look into her eyes she is looking at my spots/bumps as she runs her hand over them. I also notice when she strokes over a particularly 'textural' part of my face she veers away (not that I'm offended..who would want to touch nasty zits) and it hurts so much to think of how much more satisfied she could possibly be if only my face was 'normal.' I wouldn't even mind having pimples if they didn't turn my face into a fucking minefield... the part that makes me so self conscious about my acne is that shes so perfect in every way, her friends have perfect skin, my friends have perfect skin...it seems like IM the only one who has this disgusting shit on his face! It is SO intimidating to be in a car with her friends, her friends clear skinned boyfriends, and then here she is and I feel like ME being the disgusting oddball puts her in that same category as me. It's so intimidating to be around her and her friends/my friends because of every single person we both associate with, I'm the ONLY one with acne. It makes me feel like a fucking leper.

Every other guy shes dated pretty much has had mostly clear to 100% clear skin so I guess I popped her 'acne cherry' and she claims that I'm the best boyfriend she has..which is why it devastates me so much that I have this one imperfection because besides acne I don't see anything I could give more to her. I have dedicated my lifestyle to this girl, I devote SO MUCH to her happiness with me and it works and this is the last thing I wish to accomplish...

People make fun of her (well really me, but to her) when she talks to people about how we actually have sex. She's so pretty and everything and has so many guys that like her who have clear skin and I wonder when the day will come when my personality just won't be enough and she won't be able to stand to look at me anymore. I feel like I'm an intrusion on her life..I shouldn't though. She says that she loves me, shes been obsessed with me forever but I KNOW that if I had clear skin she would be SO MUCH MORE satisfied. I don't think she secretly desires me to have clear skin, but I honestly believe that my acne does somewhat bother her (it is pretty bad too, not just a few bumps here and there, i'm talking severe inflammation, big bumps, occasional cysts, lots of whiteheads (big whiteheads) and scarring) and she would be a lot more attracted to me if only it was gone.

This connection between myself and my girlfriend is driving me insane. Its causing me to obsess over acne. ugh...

I don't know what to do. I have 30 minocycline tabs in the cabinet that my dad got recently..I don't want to take them..antibiotics are scary to me and I was just a hair away from popping one of the pills yesterday but couldn't.



I'm so depressed and I feel like such an ugly fuck that I'm on the verge of breaking up with her just to free myself from this trap.

I don't know what I should do, if I stay with her I will gain the happiness of being with her because I love everything about her, but I feel like if I stay with her and I possibly get worse then what am I going to do? Looks aren't everything I know, in fact they are very unimportant, but they DO matter somewhat, and I am very attracted to her and I just wish she could be as attracted to me as I am of her (and I know that I am more attracted to her than she is to me, I don't see how she could be honestly attracted to me as much as Iam to her.)


tonight I'm doing another liver flush and monday I will restart on a revised regimen but I have little inspiration and hope..nowhere near the amount I had when I started my regimen in February.