Frustrated with lack of social life due to acne

When I'm around people I become a stoic, emotionless person. I avoid eye contact, look the other way, don't speak at all, etc. I'm that guy that sits in the back corner of the classroom and keeps to himself.

I'm scared to initiate in conversation with others because I feel I'm "underneath" them. I'm repulsed by myself and I feel that no one wants to associate themselves with the acne scarred, infected loser.


Some days I might feel courageous and make some eye contact with a cute girl or something but then that small confidence is destroyed when I look in the mirror the next morning and the cycle continues again.

woe is me

I've sunk to the deep lows of self-esteem yet again

I don't even know what to post anymore.

All I can do is cry the pain away. ffffffffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuck


If there's a God, he/she/it hates me.


edit: shouldnt have made this thread, it was an impulse thing. i sit here at 1 in the morning staring in the mirror wondering why my face, self-esteem, and life so fucked up. what did i do to fucking deserve this?

Finding the willpower to continue

I just turned 21, yay "happiest time of my life". I have a scarred face, whiteheads everywhere, acne around mouth, I'm a mess. I'm waiting to get my insurance stuff straightened out before I go to a dermatologist but everyday that passes I'm still fighting my internal mental war against myself.

Six years of reclusion, shame, anger, hate, self-loathing is not something I want to continue. Lately, I've had mild success in having a somewhat positive mindset. Today though, I felt I took a step back. I had a terrible breakout near my mouth (yet again, you would think I'd be used to it by now). I found myself feeling angry. Why after six years of severe breakouts does this disease continue to torture me? Six years of emotional and mental hell isn't enough? six years of isolation and no social life isn't enough?


I had trouble getting out of the house today, I delayed going to college for a good 3 - 4 hours and as a result missed a class. While procrastinating I was just staring at the mirrors in my house, with a feeling of hopelessness. I did eventually go out but I felt like complete and utter trash. I had to hold in tears coming out of my eyes WHILE IN CLASS because I'm so frustrated and fed up with this.

I'm beat up, tired, and dragging myself through this battle. My mind at times begins to wonder "What's the point of continuing?" "What's the point of waking up every day and feeling this pain?" "Is there a brighter day ahead and is it worth it?"

I don't know, I really don't.

Feeling lonely

Not sure how many can relate to this. (doubt many can)

but it seems ever since my acne started at 15 years old I've been hiding in this "protective shell" where I avoid all social contact with people by any means necessary. I guess, because I'm scared of getting hurt. I'm scared of opening myself up and letting someone insult me and make me feel bad about my acne.

of course, this has resulted in losing friends from middle school and acquiring NONE during high school and currently college.

it's such an empty feeling not being able to share life with others, not being able to laugh, talk, etc. etc.

I'm getting better nowadays mentally. My face is still bad but I've decided depression doesn't cut it anymore for me. I'm making eye contact more consistently with others when engaging in short exchanges but I still can't hold long conversations and I can't maintain my train of thought if someone is in close proximity to my face.

sigh, what a complicated puzzle life is...

acne around mouth pisses me off

it disfigures the whole freakin face. it looks like i have herpes. people give me weird looks and I become EVEN MORE of a social recluse than I already am. I can't smile without feeling a small amount of discomfort.


I fucking hate this shit.