Just Don't Know

I wake up some days, and just say to myself how much I don't wanna be who I am. I'm all about hanging around in the dark...track 2 on TBS 1st cd. I just don't know what I am doing anymore, I got to do chores ontop of my depressed behavior. *sigh* the inside of me is screaming for help but all the outside is doing is just showing tears. My tears bleed pain of sorrow.

im tryna make the fast money

Yo..I'm almost near my half way point through month 4 and i must say that it feels alot better on myself and skin now that I am staying at the same mg. I think the prob. before was that I always jumped every month, and everytime i was clearin at end of my month, I would go up in mg. Example. May-June(20mg)..June-July(40mg)July-August(80mg)August-September(80mg). So basically when I was finally getting used to my dosage, and starting to feel comfortable I would have to start from square one with the breaking out from the new dosage. I am starting to see clearing and I'd like to say there is only about 4-5 active pimples/whiteheads on me. most is just red marks now. Mentally I feel like myself again. I took a leave of absence from work so I could get things straightened out, so I could stay stress free a bit too. Not the smartest things, but I thought I'd try and stop the depressing feeling and a smaller stage. But anyway, I really do feel like by the time mid-late September rolls around I will be in great shape. Only prob is the next time im at derm I will be WITHOUT insurance. So Accutane will basically be paid out of pocket. Not too happy about it, but the state paid for the first 4(pills, blood work, doctor visit) so i guess I shouldn't be too upset, but not looking forward to paying 400.

I'd also like to thank the people that read these, and also for people that PM about tane/ or to give me some tips. Also, the people in org chat on here...Some really cool heads go on there, and they lift spirits.

Mood- Chillin like a slurpee

Feel free to comment

keep talkin that shit and you'll get jumped like pogo

hey, I haven't put up a entry in a minute. I also wasn't on for a couple of weeks, I kinda got pretty down on myself about the beginning on aug. due to not seein much results. but i guess it was because i up'd the dosage from 40 to 80. right now i feel alot better mentally and skin wise. i see my face startin to clear a bit so thats motivatin. i also got pretty sunburnt, which will convert to a tan hopefully which will help things by how i look. but my 3rd month will be up on friday and im pretty stoaked. as of now i got some white heads on my cheaks, and 2 on my forehead and thats about it. i don't wanna go up on my dosage only cause it takes 2 weeks usually for me to get used to it and i dont know if i can handle it physically or mentally. so you guys think i should stay at 80mg, then for last month go down to 40?

a tip: kinda corny, but i find prayin helps alot for me. im not too religious, and i don't think religion is all the hype people bring it to be, but i try and take 5 min out of my night to pray to god to help me through this, cause for the people that go through it, know the struggles it brings

movin up

is there such thing as movin up too quickly in dosages. im goin from 40mg to 80 mg and don't know if ill break out as bad or just stay under control for a bit

chap stick

i was wonderin, since im strugglin to find a good chap stick that works for me..if anyone else has had the same prob while on accutane. ive been through atleast 8 in 2 months, and just cant seem to find the right one.